Nelia Gyemfi

The Missing Link: Charm vs Substance

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The Missing Link: Charm vs Substance Charm and substance is gradually becoming a delicate topic among young Christian women in recent times. There has been constant talk on how to look appealing and attractive without being revealing and subsequently be academically fit, eloquent in speech, courteous, have very strong morals, possess and exhibit a Godly character; and oh! Be instrumental in the home as well ; be a woman of substance. Is there a relationship between being modestly attractive and possessing good morals? What is the connection between charm and substance and how important is it? To find out let\’s take this scenario of a jewellery box and beautiful pearls; With all the beauty and attractiveness of the jewellery box, its still what it contains that matters the most; the pearls. The pearls actually receive most of the praise regardless of what the box looks like, due to the fact that it is protecting the pearls, they(pearls) still maintain their lustre. Its the pearls that are being carried about so they receive more attention than the box does. However, if the box in which the pearls are kept is rusted, old and dirty, nobody actually cares about what it contains. The owner would have to go an extra mile to open up the box before people will begin to appreciate the value of the pearls. On the other hand, if the jewellery box is perhaps coated with gold with a silver outline and we open it only to realise what is in is just stone beads, there would be a cloud of disappointment that will take forever to disseminate into thin air. There is a link, between Charm and Substance. Now back to charm and substance. The relationship is somewhat similar to that of the box and the pearls. Studying the text of Proverbs 31 attentively, we realise there’s a link between charm and substance. That missing link, is the intentionality of dignity. Alas, reading the very last verse, one can safely conclude that charm and beauty are not only what there is to a Woman. Relating this to society, women are always made conscious of the fact that their beauty will fade away, presupposing that there’s little to gain from our beauty as women. Women are constantly reminded that after they bring forth new lives into this side of eternity, their body and charm lose its form as such, they ought to be humble at the time when they have it all together. This is a misconception that many hide behind to body shame women or to even put undue pressure on them to marry else once they loose their beauty, that’s the end. God made woman, curvaceous with all the shapes in the right places. He gave us the softest of skin both in our front and back. He gave us the finest shapes of legs and calves, eyes that light up the stars and he crowned it with our hair. I have said already, that our God is a God of intentionality and precision. He wouldn’t have done all these just to show off that yeaah He’s the creator. It was all intended to be a part of the persona of the last creation; woman. The vanity of beauty is not in its fading away with time, but it is in its death. The controversy however, is the missing link between the charm and Substance. Charm is indeed deceitful, and beauty is vain, but not when it is in consonance with the fear of God; Substance. Charm is the power or quality of delighting, attracting, or fascinating others.Charm is that one thing that gets people bewildered with all sorts of emotions and thoughts but it doesn’t stand the test of time. charm is too good to be true. Charm is deceitful. Beauty, on the other hand is fleeting, just like a flower. Blossoms today, dried up and wrinkled tomorrow. But isn’t that the truth of life and mortality? Don’t men also get all wrinkled up and shrunk in their old age? Substance, on the other hand is the real physical matter of which a person or thing consists and which has a tangible, solid presence. Substance could also be defined as the most important or essential part of something; the real or essential meaning. Putting this in context of our jewellery box and pearls scenario,  the box will be \”Charm\” and the pearls \”Substance \”. Proverbs 31 v 22 “ she makes bedspreads and WEARS CLOTHES OF FINE PURPLE LINEN”. You can put on the best and very expensive brands of makeup shoes and clothes as a Christian woman. What matters also is your dignity and modesty even as you keep yourself. In my few years on earth, the women who genuinely fear the Lord, even in their old age, glow in beauty. It’s as if they never age or they even age backward. Rev Mrs Rosemond Eastwood Anaba, Rev Adelaide Heward Mills, Mrs Bernice Offei, Akosua Agyepong, Tagoe Sisters and even Daughters of Glorious Jesus to mention a few. These are women, who have brought forth into this world, who have gone through all the phases of Womanhood. But their skin is still radiant, they are still glowing, and most importantly, are still a beauty to behold. Dr Shirley Ceasar, Cece Winans, Juanita Bynum, Pastor Paula White and even Joyce Meyer who is over 70 years old. The point I’m making is, the Christian woman must and should take care of her body, have substance, and integrate both of them. You need to clothe yourself in “fine linen”. I\’m in no way advising that you dress over budget because that is a unreasonable…… You’re the KING’S DAUGHTER, don’t ignore your physical upkeep in the name of humility or Christ. However, do not, under any circumstance, give all the attention to your beauty and Charm at the expense of your substance, then it becomes deceitful and fleeting as there’s nothing left of you. Proverbs 31:30 reads,

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CHARM vs. SUBSTANCE

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Amidst shouting and yelling on top lungs and intestines, Maame Nyarkoa packed her belongings from her matrimonial bedroom and the closet she had owned for 10 years into the back room of the house, also known as boys quarters. She watched in tears as the Penelope moved into her place. Sadly, this wasn’t over her dead body. It was as though her life had become a scripted movie Or perhaps, as though she was watching a 3D movie were she could feel every bit of emotion being acted. She wishes to pause the scene and rewind. How about I cut this scene off as the director of this movie? She couldn’t. As Facebook live would have it, she had to live in the moment. No allowance for editing or pausing or fixing. Maame Nyarkoa had been married to this man for the past 10 years. She was a professional baker and so she worked from home. She had her bakery at her backyard. She bakes the yummiest of all cakes and the freshest of all breads. She was a wise woman who built her home, as proverbs 14 v 1 would have it. She was industrious, she was proactive, she was diligent and dignified. Her marriage was bliss until her husband fell amidst a pack of wolves. Friends, they said they were. “You’re now the Chief Executive Officer of Tullow. Is it everywhere you can take that baker of a wife to?” Friend one says. “Oh that woman who’s always reeking of flour, eggs and margarine mixed together” said another friend. They all burst into laughter over the drinks they were having that Friday night in honour of their newly promoted friend. Dan Otoo had lived with this woman for the past 10 years. Shared the same bedroom, same bed, same bathroom and even sometimes same towel but had never realised his wife smelled like flour, eggs and margarine mixed together until the unscrupulous elements who call themselves friends said it? Isn’t it amazing? You need an Executive woman as a wife. One who smells like lavender oil immersed in vanilla extract. One whose hands are not scared with oven burns. The friends told him. The poor man found sense in what his friends fed him. That night, Maame Nyarkoa’s woes begun. Dan came home in a miserable state of drunkenness. You pig! You can’t take care of yourself. You’re always looking white like Ghost. Educated woman like you. You decided to quit your job to do what again? Remind me you, you, you, (stretched his hand as if to hit her but she swerved it….) So just like that, their marriage went from wee to pee. To the point where Maame Nyarkoa was put under duress to move into the back room. She earned a lot from her business. She was eventually able to purchase a new home for herself and relocated her business there as well with her two daughters. Dan Otoo and his new wife, Penelope lived a life out of this world. Penelope was a Banker as such she fit perfectly into the shoes of a trophy wife. All was mesmerising until they begun to taste the other sides of each other. Dan was not the intentional kind of man. He would leave his socks flying up and about without care. Penelope looked like a prim and proper lady on the surface but was low key lazy. She had the kind of temper that takes the breaking of glasses to calm down. She was a drug addict and a drunk. Okay, flashback. Penelope happened to be Mr Oto’s relationship officer at the bank. The kind of woman that you see and you say to yourself, this is the doing of the Lord, and it is Marvellous in my sight. In a word, she was Charming. Dan asked her out on a date. One thing led to another, and for some reason known only to Dan, he thought it wise to replace a ruby with a gold plated stone. Meanwhile, Maame Nyarkoa continued her duties as a mother to her babies. Hard as it was, she was able to forgive Dan and opened herself up again to meet people. She met Kirk who used to patronise her baked goods very often. She knew Kirk was a good man but was she ready? One night, her second daughter, Danielle had a fever and was throwing up all over. With no one to call, she finally decided this was the time for Kirkby to prove himself, not only as a Paediatrician, but as the Father he’s promised he was going to be to these angels. Kirk got to her home in less than 10 minutes. He found Danielle on the floor, in an attempt to lift her up into the bath, “wrrrrruuuuuuhhhhh” she puked on him. He just smiled and said, “that’s it baby. You gon feel better after a bath…” Two weeks later, Kirk and Maame Nyarkoa got engaged. As the world we live in would have it, the same unscrupulous elements of friends forwarded the pictures to Dan, who was almost Bankrupt as he couldn’t keep up with the lavish lifestyle of Penelope but for fear of being alone, kept on borrowing from the banks. It was at this point, that regret smeared him like shea butter on a baby’s skin. Now, the Scripture Beauty is Vain, and Charm is deceptive, but a Woman who fears the Lord is to be honoured made sense to him. In the words of Kalybos he exclaimed “Awurade m’adi Nkwaseas3m” . He realised he had cast his pearl away only to pickup a stone. He remembered how the smell of butter and fresh baked cookies in his home was always very welcoming… He remembered how of the friends he had, he was the only one blessed with a family.. He remembered that indeed, Maame Nyarkoa was a Woman of Substance. Here’s just an introduction to our new series; CHARM V

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A Woman vis – a – vis a Wife

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THE WOMAN VIS-A-VIS THE WIFE BEING A WOMAN OF PURPOSE. \”BONE OF MY BONE, FLESH OF MY FLESH HE EXCLAIMED! I SHALL CALL HER WOMAN\”  Woman, was the last creation of God, not a wife. A wife is a woman who has been found by a man, and all necessary protocols observed. A woman, was the last creation of God, the man with the value added. (On the lighter note, that’s why women are more appealing physically, in stature, in movements, in curves and bends, in smell and others….) Often times, we have forced women to act as wives, when they’re not wives yet, or even to men who are not their husbands. The purpose of a woman and the purpose of a wife are independent of one another, inasmuch as there may be some common denominators. An account is given of a woman who had an altercation with a man earlier this week here in Accra. The woman, driving her kids to School got to a point where the traffic was not moving. She beckoned the man driving ahead of her to reverse and allow her to drop her kids of at the school which was not far. The man got out his vehicle, and begins to “put the woman in her place”. Saying she should know her place in society and be submissive to the man. He further rants that he has her type at home, referring to his wife. (I am positive she would be very much disturbed if she was present ). The story goes on and on as the woman did give her two sense. Now, please and please, gone are the days when we were obliged to respect and honour gender, the male gender. In the world we live in today, respect and honour is given to he who earns it and deserves it. It is not even scripture, that the woman should be submissive to man. It states wife, be submissive to your own Husband as unto Christ. As an unmarried woman, I am under no obligation to revere or submit to someone because he’s a man just as the man who is not married to me is under no obligation to love me. Even as a married woman, my oath of submission is to my husband, and not to just any other male on the street. 1st Peter 3 v 1 In the same way, you wives must submit to yourselves to your husbands……. I, as woman, I am to respect and be respected as a person, as the human being I am. That’s all. When I am married, I am to submit to the man who came to my house and paid my bride price and took me to be his wife. Men shouldn’t walk around shoulder high preaching submission to every woman you meet on your street. If she’s not your wife, respect her as the person she is and that respect will be reciprocated. Respect is given to them who earn it, them who deserve it, and them who reciprocate it. A woman, just as a man, has a purpose. The purpose of a woman is not to find husband and give him children and on and on. We train up young women to anticipate being wives, and barely encourage them to live a purpose-filled. I cannot over emphasise this enough, woman, your purpose was not to be a wife. You too, can have ambition, can have dreams, yes marriage can be a part of it, but it shouldn’t be the entirety of it all. Never should the success of a woman be equated to her marital status. Yes, indeed marriage has its own glory and grace it bestows on the couple, especially a woman, but never should a woman be made to feel as though her entire life is like Genesis 1v 1-2, without form or void, with darkness covering the face of the deep. The purpose of the woman is first and foremost to worship God. He created us for His pleasure Gen 1:26-30. Your life as a purpose, should bring Glory to God. It takes us back to the previous piece on Purpose, your purpose should be aligned with God’s will. It should be traceable to the Heavens. Then a woman was created to be a help meet to the man(Gen 2:18-22). This is probably the only denominator between being a woman and being a wife. God could have given woman any other purpose but being a helper. However, he saw the need for a helper in the life of man. The position of the helper should never be disregarded because one of the many names of God is “God my HELPER”. All things being equal, it stands to reason that the WOMAN, a Helper shares an attribute or an appellation with the Father. A woman\’s purpose, just like any other person, is exclusive to her, is relevant, must be aligned with God’s greater purpose and it directs her path in life.(refer to previous post on PURPOSE   http://rubiesworth.com/factsofpurpose/). A goodly woman will be one who has dignity, self respect, love and a good heart. She is woman of Substance. It would be improper and unacceptable if I do not mention that the wife you become is founded on the woman you have always been. Whether we like it or not, agree or not, accept it or not, there are roles and responsibilities for both individuals in marriage. How well a woman plays her role as a wife depends on how well she established and played her role as a woman. The core heavenly mandate of The Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network is to raise an army of goodly women, who have amongst other things, lived up to the purpose of a Woman, as an Individual and as a part of the last creation of God. Consequently, the Phenomenal Woman who marries would have prepared herself well and would have laid the foundation of her marriage.

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Facts of Purpose

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THE LIFE OF PURPOSE  The most important day in a lifetime is not when you passed out into this side of eternity (your birthday). Neither is it the day you find love, get a job, make the first million dollars. It is the day you find “PURPOSE”. It is almost impossible, to find your purpose outside of the confines of your relationship with God. That is to say after you find God, you must uncover your purpose in Him. Jesus Christ, in all His Majesty and Divinity was brought into this world to fulfill a purpose, which we all know. It tells me that God is intentional about every soul creeping upon the surface of this earth. Okay maybe, someone might say Jesus Christ is a biased example. How about John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Moses, Samuel, and you, yes you! In this piece we’re discussing the Characteristics of Your Purpose. Determiners that will bring to bare your purpose. Imagine you’re in a test laboratory right, today we’re putting purpose to the test by putting various chemicals into a test tube to ascertain purpose. (Hehe I think I should consider changing profession, a scientist won’t be a bad fit). Let’s cut to the chase loves…. 1. Everyone has a purpose, and your purpose was pre-ordained: Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. As I have said in earlier posts, God never creates us by chance. He is not a God of Probabilities. He’s a God of certainty and intentionality. If you believe He made you, believe He made you for a purpose, and that purpose was aforethought before your existence. Find that purpose in Him and accomplish it, and trust me, you’ll reap benefits right here on earth and in eternity. Della Reese was an African-American Actress, Singer and Preacher whose career spanned over seven decades. She’s famously known for her role in TOUCHED BY ANGEL as Tess. She passed into eternity on November 19th 2017 at Peace in her home. She was 86. You’d wonder why the biography of a woman I never met physically. I grew up watching this woman every Sunday evening and heaven bares me witness, that she always brought a ray of light in my heart at the end of every episode. Inasmuch as I knew it was scripted, I believed that indeed, God exists, and angels are real. That God loves us and wishes for us to turn to Him always. She together with Monica and Andrew taught me that when you really believe in God, it gives you a courage, a confidence that enables you to meet the things coming. When I learnt of her passing, the only thing I said was, an angel is going back home. My point is, this woman’s role in the cbs drama touched many lives, and renewed the love of God in the hearts of many, through acting as an angel. Yes Acting. At the end of it all, your purpose must conform to the will of God, which leads to my next point. 2. Your Purpose should be aligned to God’s ultimate Will or Purpose for Mankind: the ultimate purpose of your life, is to expand the kingdom of God, of course through diverse means. If you feel you’ve found your purpose, ask yourself how does my purpose help in the Kingdom? If it doesn’t, then I’m afraid it’s all in your head. You cannot fulfill God’s purpose for your life while focusing on your own plans- Rick Warren I have a personal testimony in connection with this quote. When I started The Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network, one day I was setting out plans and all. I found that I was clueless. All I knew was Phenomenal Woman had to be established. I was frustrated so I just lay on my bed, attempting to sleep. At that point I fell into a trance, and I heard a voice tell me, FOCUS, BUT NOT ON YOURSELF, FOCUS ON ME. 3. Your Purpose is Exclusive to You: Not even one person has another master key to your purpose except you. No one has the copyright or patent. The reason you need to stay true to yourself is that in being what you’re not, the whole of Humanity, especially the body of Christ, misses out on your authenticity and uniqueness. Purpose, like fingerprints are distinct and are never a match to any other persons’. 4. Your Purpose is Relevant: Due to the exclusive nature and distinctiveness of your purpose, it is relevant. The relevance of your purpose should not be undermined or intimated by the existence of other purposes. I bake, but there are a lot of bakeries in Accra, not to even talk of Ghana and the world. Does that deter me from my passion ? No, I believe I have my market out there. There are people who will prefer my cakes and crave for my taste so I continued to thrive. In business, it’s called Competition, but I will call it relevance for the sake of our topic. Even in blogging and doing what I do with regards to young women, there are a lot of networks springing up day in day out but I believe I have a peculiar and distinct purpose which is exclusive to just the Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network, that is Relevance. 5. Your Purpose Determines Your Company: Bad company corrupts good morals. What has light got to do with darkness? Be ye not unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. Your purpose directs you to the people you meet and associate with. You cannot be at one end of the extreme, and associate with the other end of the extreme. In fact, it will come naturally. Your purpose moves you towards like-minded people, but you’ll also have to make the conscious effort of engaging

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The Quirks of Purpose

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PURPOSE THE WHEN OR END. If you search deep in the waters, you will find that pearl, that gold, that Ruby. If you search at the shore, you’ll pick up shells. Your purpose is hidden in the deep waters within you, fish for it; for out of you, oh woman, shall flow rivers of living water. The end doesn’t always justify the means, but effort will always produce result. The effort can be likened to the “HOW” and the “result” likened to the “end”. The End of your purpose is the result that is manifested or the impact that is felt. Your purpose wasn’t given to you for you. It was given to you to make an impact, to make a change, to right certain wrongs, to be a trailblazer in certain areas. Effort will always produce result. If you put in an “effortless effort”, same will be your result. Knowing and identifying your purpose is not complete until you have lived the purpose to the end of time. Similarly, any delay caused in acting on your purpose will lead to a much more delayed results. The time to find that purpose, and to live it is now, not tomorrow. Ever asked yourself how much time you have left on this side of eternity? Did you get a definite answer? I guess not. In the same way, dragging your feet on your purpose and being lackadaisical about it has led to the death of many visions, purposes and ideas. HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY YOUR PURPOSE. I’ll just mention three ways in which you will be able to ascertain your purpose. 1. You don’t disrespect yourself or compromise your values in order to live out your purpose. 2. Your purpose, at its inception, may not make much sense to everyone else except yourself and God. 3. Your purpose, makes you fulfilled as an individual. Next week, we’ll discuss the Characteristics of your purpose. I hope you enjoy the video?? Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman [/av_textblock] [av_video src=\’https://youtu.be/MAp0BTg2Trw\’ format=\’16-9\’ width=\’16\’ height=\’9\’]

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Woman You\’re Far Above Rubies

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Woman, You\’re Far Above Rubies PROVERBS 31V 10. Our bible character Study for today has taken a different twist. Ordinarily, we would be discussing an actual woman that existed in the biblical days. Well today, we’re talking about a woman that was described, somewhat in abstract. The woman that God wants us all to be, the Proverbs 31 woman. This woman seems to be a cliché in our world today, especially in our churches. However, the same women who claim proverbs 31 v 10 are the same women fighting for “Gender equality”. In my opinion, gender equality is a myth( I’ll be writing on this soon). I decided on this woman because of the current spate of radical unfounded feminism in my country, Ghana. A bunch of privileged women, who have gotten some fair level of education and exposure thinking they know it all about Gender and being a woman, but are actually being schooled by men. It irks me to see this generation of women, and Christian women at that, fighting for what isn’t theirs with no idea of what they have. Being a woman of strength isn’t about being able to throw a fist at a man for being a man. Being a woman isn’t about playing the gender card anytime you feel something is not in your favour. Being a woman, is recognising the value God placed within you when he made you, and rising above what the world dictates about womanhood. Now to the Proverbs 31v 10-31, (I’m basically paraphrasing some verses). A good woman, who shall find? For her worth is Far Above Rubies. Don’t you find it rather mesmerising that not even a Ruby is equated to the worth of a woman? Not only are you far worthy than Rubies, you’re far above the worth of a Ruby. You’re exceedingly abundantly above the scale of measurement of a Ruby. (You still think gender equality is the ideal?). Woman, Your Worth, value and whole being of existence is that intriguing that words can’t literally explain. She’s clothed in strength and dignity. You’re strength personified and dignity is your apparel. Your strength is not to fight for what is not yours, but to guard diligently and jealously what is yours. Your dignity is your integrity. Your integrity as a woman lies in your character. Be a woman of commendable character. She works willingly with her hands. A woman never complains about work, whatever form it may take, be it domestic or corporate or commercial. She’s not a lazy woman who deems certain works as slavery. She gets tired, yes. She get worked out yes, but she never plays the gender card. She’s Kind, she’s industrious, she’s proactive and brings honour to her home. She’s filled with wisdom and on her mouth is the law of kindness. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to praised. Your Looks will fade away like the flower and your charm, like the whirlwind. What will be left of you, as a woman, is your substance. What substance are you made up of? Substance of rage and fury against the opposite sex? Substance of ingratitude to God for making you a woman? Substance of the worth which is far above rubies? I am a woman, and I wear that as a badge of honour. I do not view myself disadvantaged in anyway by society, norms, or stereotypes lest I let that have the better part of who I am, leaving me with anger, dissatisfaction and unfulfilled. The devil knows this, as such has planted lies in the minds of the daughters of Eve, hindering them from living up to the purpose of a woman. Be a Woman, be Unapologetic about it, Be a Woman of Substance far above rubies. Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

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Purpose II

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THE QUIRKS OF YOUR PURPOSE…. Who you are as an individual is fairly easy to discover than why you are who you are. Socialisation, family, religion, education and relationships aid us in discovering our identity. Howbeit, discovering your identity isn\’t the end of the journey. Discovering why your identity is such and such is purpose. As a woman, have you ever asked why God made you a woman? And why God made you as an individual? A purpose driven life is a fulfilled life. It is a life well lived. It is a life that has direction and focus. It is a joyous and happy life. Everyone has a purpose, which is distinctive and exclusive to them. However, your purpose has some wheels on which it runs. In other words, your purpose is like a journey, you need certain things to be in place before you’re able to have a successful, stress-free, no frustration journey. I call these the quirks of purpose, or the peculiarity of purpose. There are three quirks of Purpose, or three main wheels on which your journey of purpose runs. ♡THE WHY (THE LIFE OF PURPOSE)  ♡THE HOW (THE PROCESS) ♡ THE WHEN (THE TIMELINE) The WHY is the core of the subject. The other two are equally relevant to your purpose but without the core of a subject matter, all others are in vain. Just as the engine is to the train, or the heart is to the body is the “Why” to your purpose. Why are you in existence? I highly doubt it, that you’re on this side of eternity to just get educated, have friends and family, socialise, get a family, grow old and prepare for eternity. We have made that like a default settings for life. It’s even worse off for a woman. Your life as woman and your identity, in times past, was predetermined by your father or your husband. Yours was to be home, make babies and nurture them, cook, clean and take care of your husband. You weren’t allowed to even own property to talk of have a mind and life of your own. As a matter of fact, as a woman, you were even considered a property. Anyway, so going back to the subject of discussion, your life has no default settings and even if it did, thus assuming without accepting, default settings can be changed to suit the user’s preference. You just purchased an iPhone × . Sophisticated as it is, it comes with a default ring tone, screen saver and others. Immediately you begin to use the phone, you download some trending songs, take some cute pictures and you this sophisticated phone that is perfect on every side, you still change your default settings. Why then do you not change the default settings in your life, that is if there is? The Why is to know your purpose for existence. God didn’t breath his life and spirit into you for a show off. He didn’t do that to prove that he was the GIVER of life. God has a greater purpose in creating us and saving us. “He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace” (2 Timothy 1:9). He had a purpose for every life he created and the purpose, like out thumbprint, may be similar or even identical, but it is still distinctive. Majority of our life is spent bring so busy that we forget we were given this life for a purpose. Actually, it silly to ask “What is the Purpose of my Life”. Your life, is the Purpose. The HOW involves a complex Web of processes but once figured out, gives you an easy way out to the When! The how involves the process of finding your purpose, realising it, acknowledging it and finally executing it. The most difficult bit is process finding the purpose. Your purpose, like pearls in the ocean, are in deep waters within you, you will find it if only you search, and search intentionally not without focus. “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5). A story is told of a fisherman who goes to sea at dawn to fish. He gets into his canoe, travels far into the deep of the waters because he knows that’s where the sardines and tuna are. He casts his net upon the deep of the waters, seeking to harvest sardines or tuna or even squids (I loooooooveeee squids: don’t judge me?????????). He gets the fihsh he set out to harvest but in the process, he harvests keta school boys, shrimps, crabs. All these come as a bonus. However, if he had cast his net right at the shore, he would have only crabs, shrimps and keta school boys. I am not in anyway undermining these sea creatures. If you get your shrimps with some hot Kenkey on Friday morning you may even forget your name or even crabs in okro stew with banku. Howbeit, that wasn’t what he was looking for. Moral? If you search deep in the waters, you will find that pearl, that gold, that Ruby. If you search at the shore, you’ll pick up shells. Your purpose is hidden in the deep waters within you, fish for it; for out of you, oh woman, shall flow rivers of living water. Let\’s CONTINUE NEXT WEEK LOVE, NELIA.PHENOMENALWOMAN

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Purpose

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Purpose Nothing happens in a vacuum. There exists nothing without a cause, an objective is sought to be achieved at the end of the day. Purpose is what answers the question, \”why is that in existence\”. Have you asked yourself the Why question before? We are usually susceptible to asking the Who I am question and absolutely ignore the Why am I who I am? She gets out of bed as the sun rays strike the Ivory voil curtains gorgeously hanging at her windows. She bends her knees before her bed. It was at this point the devil knew he was out of control yeah. She says her morning prayers, heads for her bathroom. She stands in awe, of who she is. What she\’s made up of, her most intricate assets are beyond what meets the eye. She stares at how graciously her kinky hair is coiled up in the messy bun she wore to work the previous day. She looks into her eyes, and sees nothing but life. She murmurs, thank you God, for who I am. The woman I am becoming, the girl I was yesterday and the lady I\’ll be forever be. I am a Phenomenal Woman. Just in the nick of time, while she\’s having some me time, she pauses for a second as she realises an error. An error that has lingered on for as long as is deemed possible. In a soliloquy, she says, why am I phenomenal? Is it so I can just brag about it? Is it so I can be a self-acclaimed phenomenal woman like some self acclaimed queens? Is it just for the title and applause? Why am I a woman? Why am I me? Purpose is the reason for which something is. It is why something exists. It also defines a person\’s resolve or determination. It is often said that the most important day in the life of a person is not the day they\’re born, but rather the day they pass out of this side of eternity. However, I stand to differ. The most valuable day in the life of every person is the day they discover why they were created. The day you unearth your purpose. The reason is that whatever or however you go about your purpose on earth, determines how you\’ll live, and ultimately your eternity. No one is brought into this world by mistake. I have heard circumstances where a child is regarded as a mistake because the parents had no intention of reproducing their kind. Even before the embryo fertilised and formed a zygote, thus a clot of blood, God knew the life that was within and had a purpose for him or her. You may have gotten pregnant involuntarily, but God did not create that life involuntarily. He\’s an intentional God. He doesn\’t do anything in the spur of the moment. Who you are as an individual is fairly easy to discover than why you are who you are. Socialisation, family, religion, education and relationships aid us in discovering our identity. Howbeit, discovering your identity isn\’t the end of the journey. Discovering why your identity is such and such is purpose. As a woman, have you ever asked why God made you a woman? And why God made you as an individual? A purpose driven life is a fulfilled life. It is a life well lived. It is a life thar has direction and focus. It is a joyous and happy life. Everyone has a purpose, which is distinctive and exclusive to them. In the subsequent weeks (I\’ll try to wrap this series up as soon as I can), we’ll discuss PURPOSE. Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

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The Woman At The Well: Freedom in Truth

Leave a Comment / Bible Character Study /

The Woman At The Well Our fair story begins in the town of Sychar in the region of Samaria as a woman writes in her diary: Dear Diary, Today was hotter than most days and as usual, I was walking to Jacob’s well all alone… *Sigh*… when I noticed this fiiiiiiiinnneeee man sitting on the edge. From the looks of it, he is Jewish! I mean, his sandals, his hair, his nose…. Just screaming Jewish to me. That meant that I was going to get one load of a talk down because Jewish and Samaritans just don\’t vibe.. you get what I mean? Alright so I fetch my water as far away from him as possible when this man asks me for some of my water. First off, I think this man must be lost or something because: 1. Jewish and Samaritans do not share bowls… they hate us! Well our fathers told us after the Israelites who settled in Sychar were defeated by the Asssyrians, the Samaritans intermarried them. This made the Jews furious as they believed the true blood of Isreal had been altered by Pagans. They found no need in associating with us anymore. So yes they despise us. 2. I am a woman and one dishonoured woman as a fact so he, as a rabbi and all, isn\’t meant to talk to me at all. So I state the obvious about Jews, Samaritans and bowls then he says, \”If only you knew what God gives and who it is that is asking you for a drink, you would ask him and he would give you life-giving water\” Surprised, I look at his feet. There was no bucket at all so I told him how deep the well was. He listened with a smug grin as I asked where he would get the water from. \”You don\’t claim to be greater than our father Jacob, do you? \” He tips his head to the well and says, \”All those who drink this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water that I give him will never be thirsty again\”. I look at him like ohh so if you do have water that when one drinks of, one will never thirst again, why must you bug me for water? He goes on further and said the water would come from a spring that gives life-giving water to give eternal life. Woah, where my cup at? Then, He tells me to hold up and asks for my husband and that\’s when your girl right here gets real shy. I tell him that I have no ring on my finger and he says I know you\’ve been married to five men and the guy I live with hasn\’t put a ring on me. Prophesy game strong, I see. He goes on talking about worship and when I mention that I know the Messiah will come to tell we, Samaritans everything, he says he *is* the Messiah. Soon, his company appears and from the looks on their faces it looks like they aren’t happy. I dash away to tell the others that the Messiah actually spoke to me. Talk about a story.. Now, right now, I am wondering why the Messiah, saviour of the world, looked through the fact that I am a Samaritan Woman and spoke to me. I know I am not the type to talk to… I mean, I go to the well all alone when going to the well is supposed to be something fun and chatty for women to do in groups… I married five men and I\’m with my sixth in the series…. I am Samaritan, one who worships God on mountains… Well, not much to be proud of, if you catch my flow but hey, He actually looked through this to say \”what\’s up\”. Well, then that means God must be this carefree and free spirited( ie He really sees me through His eyes and love). He won\’t care if I was jobless, homeless or was a harlot, He would look through my flaws and talk to me. He won\’t jeer or scowl because He is not human, not like the other gods or even fellow humans. With a God so forgiving, I should be prepared to give myself to Him and talk to him because with Him, my shame is cast away. What a lesson… I should be full of hope and faith. Secondly, I learnt to not comprehend certain things with human morals. When he asked me to give him water, I went straight to the rules. Being the person I was deemed to be, I wanted to play it safe and avoid any trouble. I realised then that I have been drinking too much from water that is earthly, water that would get me even more thirstier. Water that would make me question His asking me for such a simple thing like water. I should rather be drinking water that would give me eternal life. I should try to get that water by doing good things in life, not discriminating and following the word. That\’s what will give me the water that gives eternal life. Eternal life in Heaven. I won\’t be thirsty ever again because doing good comes with self-satisfaction. I totally get it now. I wish I knew his name though but I have a feeling I would soon find out. Now, I must go and share this lesson with other people so my cup can be filled…and tell of the freedom I gained in truth… Love, the woman at the well♡♡ If the woman at the well of Samaria kept a diary, and she had to recount Her encounter with Jesus, this is how it would have read. However, that woman at well, represents a fraction of us, women today. Ostracised from society by our faults, sins and shortcomings. Set apart for all the wrong reasons. Having little to no confidence in ourselves. Going to

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SHELMAY!

Leave a Comment / Interviews /

This has been my most interesting interview ever. Here’s why; this conversation cum interview you’re about to read was originally a mere informal conversation between myself and Sherrlie. I realised this is all I needed for an interview. So I told her, Sherrlie you know what, this conversation just became an interview session. She then said “Nelia you’ve breached our contract???????”. I said “I am sorry but thank you for taking the headache off me!” So I asked some follow up questions after well, a very, very, very, very, lengthy, detailed, and incredible self pitch I have ever come across. So what it means is that today, Sherrlie does majority of the talking! My dear Phenomenal Women, SHERRLIE MAISON! Shirley: My name is Shirley Esther Maison. But I love to be called SHELMAY?. I am the second to the first and the last of the two ??. I had my crèche at Jack and Jill and then went to Seven Great Princess Academy from nursery to JHS 1 second term where I had to painfully change schools because we(my family) were relocating to our permanent house at Kasoa. I continued my JHS education at West End International School where I completed and wrote my BECE. Now let me chip in to say that during this stage of my life it was a battle because that was my first major change and it disoriented my thinking and greatly affected my social skills. I had to learn how to make new friends and associates. I was greatly familiar with my former church, school and community. This was a tough one but I braced it. I gained admission to Wesley Girls high school where I read Home Economics. Truth is I loved “geyhey” before I got there because my big sister was there as well as my aunties and literally every other woman around me was a geyhey noisemaker ???? so I pretty much had no option because as they say “if u can’t beat them join them” . During my stay there I was member of the red cross society and it was during my red cross days that I learnt how to go out to help the kakumdo community to dress their sores and other basic first aid knowledge was acquired as well. If there is any other lesson I learnt from this experience, it was how I could get out of my comfort zone and help others. In addition to my contributions to the Red Cross Society, I was part of a club called FORUM FOR AFRICAN WOMEN EDUCATIONIST. It was a forum where issues about women and empowerment were discussed as well as the development of skills. We included basic etiquette such as eating, walking and essentially anything about being a lady. In the course of it, I became the vice president and then later we merged with another ladies group and became one club called GENDA AGENDER still clinging on to the position of a VICE PRESIDENT. Along the line I became a member of the chapel committee and also a bible study leader where we prepared for service and led bible studies. I completed my senior high school education not with just an academic accomplishment, but with some knowledge about the world, the Word and also about volunteerism. I proceeded to the University of Ghana where I read Linguistics, French and Spanish. During my second semester in first year I joined a ministry on campus called MASS THEATRE; a Christian theatre ministry that taught the biblical and spiritual reasoning for all the acts and dance and recitals we take on stage. What the world calls performance , we call a ministration. ?? . I Was in this ministry my whole four years in the university. It was a great privilege because I grew spiritually and also to understand some basic principles we overlook. I cannot use this platform to throw more light but just to say the least, I will always go back to mass theatre if I were a fresher in university again. Aside my ministry I was introduced to an NGO by a friend. At that time the ngo was called INSPYA GHANA. We visited far and near communities to spend a couple of days with them and mentored the kids, donated materials and also had some other ngos on board to help with health screenings and discussions. We had time for the parents and teachers as well. Infact we blended so well with the communities we visited such that leaving them was always heartbreaking.  During my last year in the university, I was made the PROJECT DIRECTOR of the NGO and I am still in the position. My responsibilities cut across working hand in hand with my assistant and together with the organizing director and also with the marketing director at times in terms of working on projects and evaluating communities that may need our help. I am also incharge of assigning roles and involving volunteers, members and our partners in all our projects and events. I must say this exposure has been one of a kind. One thing I have learnt and still learning is that you do not need to get to where you want to be before you pull others along. Pull them along as you move. The world will be a far more better place if we could see through the struggles of others and help them. Nelia:Whewww! That was some introduction right there! Moving on, if you were a book what would be your title and why. Shirley: Hahaha a book????. Umm hmm. The Secret UNKNOWN. why? Because I believe there’s still more to know than you know now????. Well but essentially there’s more to unravel and there’s more to explore about myself. Nelia:  How about if you were a colour, what would you be and why? Shirley: Colour? .BLUE??? . Blue because it is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth

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