A Woman vis – a – vis a Wife




Woman, was the last creation of God, not a wife. A wife is a woman who has been found by a man, and all necessary protocols observed. A woman, was the last creation of God, the man with the value added. (On the lighter note, that’s why women are more appealing physically, in stature, in movements, in curves and bends, in smell and others….)
Often times, we have forced women to act as wives, when they’re not wives yet, or even to men who are not their husbands.
The purpose of a woman and the purpose of a wife are independent of one another, inasmuch as there may be some common denominators.

An account is given of a woman who had an altercation with a man earlier this week here in Accra. The woman, driving her kids to School got to a point where the traffic was not moving. She beckoned the man driving ahead of her to reverse and allow her to drop her kids of at the school which was not far. The man got out his vehicle, and begins to “put the woman in her place”. Saying she should know her place in society and be submissive to the man. He further rants that he has her type at home, referring to his wife. (I am positive she would be very much disturbed if she was present ). The story goes on and on as the woman did give her two sense.

Now, please and please, gone are the days when we were obliged to respect and honour gender, the male gender. In the world we live in today, respect and honour is given to he who earns it and deserves it.
It is not even scripture, that the woman should be submissive to man. It states wife, be submissive to your own Husband as unto Christ. As an unmarried woman, I am under no obligation to revere or submit to someone because he’s a man just as the man who is not married to me is under no obligation to love me. Even as a married woman, my oath of submission is to my husband, and not to just any other male on the street.

1st Peter 3 v 1 In the same way, you wives must submit to yourselves to your husbands…….

I, as woman, I am to respect and be respected as a person, as the human being I am. That’s all. When I am married, I am to submit to the man who came to my house and paid my bride price and took me to be his wife.
Men shouldn’t walk around shoulder high preaching submission to every woman you meet on your street. If she’s not your wife, respect her as the person she is and that respect will be reciprocated.

Respect is given to them who earn it, them who deserve it, and them who reciprocate it.

A woman, just as a man, has a purpose. The purpose of a woman is not to find husband and give him children and on and on. We train up young women to anticipate being wives, and barely encourage them to live a purpose-filled.

I cannot over emphasise this enough, woman, your purpose was not to be a wife. You too, can have ambition, can have dreams, yes marriage can be a part of it, but it shouldn’t be the entirety of it all. Never should the success of a woman be equated to her marital status. Yes, indeed marriage has its own glory and grace it bestows on the couple, especially a woman, but never should a woman be made to feel as though her entire life is like Genesis 1v 1-2, without form or void, with darkness covering the face of the deep.
The purpose of the woman is first and foremost to worship God. He created us for His pleasure Gen 1:26-30. Your life as a purpose, should bring Glory to God. It takes us back to the previous piece on Purpose, your purpose should be aligned with God’s will. It should be traceable to the Heavens.
Then a woman was created to be a help meet to the man(Gen 2:18-22). This is probably the only denominator between being a woman and being a wife. God could have given woman any other purpose but being a helper. However, he saw the need for a helper in the life of man. The position of the helper should never be disregarded because one of the many names of God is “God my HELPER”. All things being equal, it stands to reason that the WOMAN, a Helper shares an attribute or an appellation with the Father.
A woman’s purpose, just like any other person, is exclusive to her, is relevant, must be aligned with God’s greater purpose and it directs her path in life.(refer to previous post on PURPOSE   http://rubiesworth.com/factsofpurpose/).

A goodly woman will be one who has dignity, self respect, love and a good heart. She is woman of Substance.

It would be improper and unacceptable if I do not mention that the wife you become is founded on the woman you have always been.

Whether we like it or not, agree or not, accept it or not, there are roles and responsibilities for both individuals in marriage.
How well a woman plays her role as a wife depends on how well she established and played her role as a woman.
The core heavenly mandate of The Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network is to raise an army of goodly women, who have amongst other things, lived up to the purpose of a Woman, as an Individual and as a part of the last creation of God. Consequently, the Phenomenal Woman who marries would have prepared herself well and would have laid the foundation of her marriage.

The rate of divorce keeps increasing because we train our young women to anticipate marriage, and live up to that as the only purpose for which they were created. Instead of focusing and building themselves up as women, they miss the mark by anticipating to be wives forgetting its their Womanhood that makes them a wife. Meanwhile, we teach our young men to dream, to aspire, to anticipate, and if they will, they should find a wife.

As human as we are, we crave love, affection, care and attention but it is an error when the whole socialisation process of a woman is centered on these, such that the absence of these spell failure for the woman.

The time is now, that we teach our young women, to dream, to be ambitious, to have purpose, individually, and to be women, who have lived their singleness purposefully….


Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

This piece was put together with the aid of my team members , Ziona Neequaye and Genevieve Agbo. 



The most important day in a lifetime is not when you passed out into this side of eternity (your birthday). Neither is it the day you find love, get a job, make the first million dollars. It is the day you find “PURPOSE”.

It is almost impossible, to find your purpose outside of the confines of your relationship with God. That is to say after you find God, you must uncover your purpose in Him.

Jesus Christ, in all His Majesty and Divinity was brought into this world to fulfill a purpose, which we all know. It tells me that God is intentional about every soul creeping upon the surface of this earth. Okay maybe, someone might say Jesus Christ is a biased example. How about John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Moses, Samuel, and you, yes you!

In this piece we’re discussing the Characteristics of Your Purpose. Determiners that will bring to bare your purpose. Imagine you’re in a test laboratory right, today we’re putting purpose to the test by putting various chemicals into a test tube to ascertain purpose. (Hehe I think I should consider changing profession, a scientist won’t be a bad fit). Let’s cut to the chase loves….
1. Everyone has a purpose, and your purpose was pre-ordained:
Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
As I have said in earlier posts, God never creates us by chance. He is not a God of Probabilities. He’s a God of certainty and intentionality. If you believe He made you, believe He made you for a purpose, and that purpose was aforethought before your existence. Find that purpose in Him and accomplish it, and trust me, you’ll reap benefits right here on earth and in eternity. Della Reese was an African-American Actress, Singer and Preacher whose career spanned over seven decades. She’s famously known for her role in TOUCHED BY ANGEL as Tess. She passed into eternity on November 19th 2017 at Peace in her home. She was 86. You’d wonder why the biography of a woman I never met physically. I grew up watching this woman every Sunday evening and heaven bares me witness, that she always brought a ray of light in my heart at the end of every episode. Inasmuch as I knew it was scripted, I believed that indeed, God exists, and angels are real. That God loves us and wishes for us to turn to Him always. She together with Monica and Andrew taught me that when you really believe in God, it gives you a courage, a confidence that enables you to meet the things coming. When I learnt of her passing, the only thing I said was, an angel is going back home.

My point is, this woman’s role in the cbs drama touched many lives, and renewed the love of God in the hearts of many, through acting as an angel. Yes Acting.
At the end of it all, your purpose must conform to the will of God, which leads to my next point.

2. Your Purpose should be aligned to God’s ultimate Will or Purpose for Mankind: the ultimate purpose of your life, is to expand the kingdom of God, of course through diverse means. If you feel you’ve found your purpose, ask yourself how does my purpose help in the Kingdom? If it doesn’t, then I’m afraid it’s all in your head.

You cannot fulfill God’s purpose for your life while focusing on your own plans- Rick Warren

I have a personal testimony in connection with this quote. When I started The Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network, one day I was setting out plans and all. I found that I was clueless. All I knew was Phenomenal Woman had to be established. I was frustrated so I just lay on my bed, attempting to sleep. At that point I fell into a trance, and I heard a voice tell me, FOCUS, BUT NOT ON YOURSELF, FOCUS ON ME.

3. Your Purpose is Exclusive to You:

Not even one person has another master key to your purpose except you. No one has the copyright or patent. The reason you need to stay true to yourself is that in being what you’re not, the whole of Humanity, especially the body of Christ, misses out on your authenticity and uniqueness. Purpose, like fingerprints are distinct and are never a match to any other persons’.
4. Your Purpose is Relevant:

Due to the exclusive nature and distinctiveness of your purpose, it is relevant. The relevance of your purpose should not be undermined or intimated by the existence of other purposes.
I bake, but there are a lot of bakeries in Accra, not to even talk of Ghana and the world. Does that deter me from my passion ? No, I believe I have my market out there. There are people who will prefer my cakes and crave for my taste so I continued to thrive. In business, it’s called Competition, but I will call it relevance for the sake of our topic.

Even in blogging and doing what I do with regards to young women, there are a lot of networks springing up day in day out but I believe I have a peculiar and distinct purpose which is exclusive to just the Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network, that is Relevance.

5. Your Purpose Determines Your Company:

Bad company corrupts good morals. What has light got to do with darkness? Be ye not unequally yoked together with an unbeliever.

Your purpose directs you to the people you meet and associate with. You cannot be at one end of the extreme, and associate with the other end of the extreme. Infact, it will come naturally. Your purpose move you towards like minded people, but you’ll also have to make the conscious effort of engaging with people of like mindedness.


To be continued….

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

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                                  THE QUIRKS OF YOUR PURPOSE….

Who you are as an individual is fairly easy to discover than why you are who you are. Socialisation, family, religion, education and relationships aid us in discovering our identity. Howbeit, discovering your identity isn’t the end of the journey. Discovering why your identity is such and such is purpose. As a woman, have you ever asked why God made you a woman? And why God made you as an individual?

A purpose driven life is a fulfilled life. It is a life well lived. It is a life that has direction and focus. It is a joyous and happy life.

Everyone has a purpose, which is distinctive and exclusive to them. However, your purpose has some wheels on which it runs. In other words, your purpose is like a journey, you need certain things to be in place before you’re able to have a successful, stress-free, no frustration journey. I call these the quirks of purpose, or the peculiarity of purpose.

There are three quirks of Purpose, or three main wheels on which your journey of purpose runs.


The WHY is the core of the subject. The other two are equally relevant to your purpose but without the core of a subject matter, all others are in vain. Just as the engine is to the train, or the heart is to the body is the “Why” to your purpose.

Why are you in existence? I highly doubt it, that you’re on this side of eternity to just get educated, have friends and family, socialise, get a family, grow old and prepare for eternity. We have made that like a default settings for life. It’s even worse off for a woman. Your life as woman and your identity, in times past, was predetermined by your father or your husband. Yours was to be home, make babies and nurture them, cook, clean and take care of your husband. You weren’t allowed to even own property to talk of have a mind and life of your own. As a matter of fact, as a woman, you were even considered a property.

Anyway, so going back to the subject of discussion, your life has no default settings and even if it did, thus assuming without accepting, default settings can be changed to suit the user’s preference. You just purchased an iPhone × . Sophisticated as it is, it comes with a default ring tone, screen saver and others. Immediately you begin to use the phone, you download some trending songs, take some cute pictures and you this sophisticated phone that is perfect on every side, you still change your default settings. Why then do you not change the default settings in your life, that is if there is?

The Why is to know your purpose for existence. God didn’t breath his life and spirit into you for a show off. He didn’t do that to prove that he was the GIVER of life.
God has a greater purpose in creating us and saving us.
“He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace” (2 Timothy 1:9).

He had a purpose for every life he created and the purpose, like out thumbprint, may be similar or even identical, but it is still distinctive.
Majority of our life is spent bring so busy that we forget we were given this life for a purpose.
Actually, it silly to ask “What is the Purpose of my Life”. Your life, is the Purpose.
The HOW involves a complex Web of processes but once figured out, gives you an easy way out to the When!
The how involves the process of finding your purpose, realising it, acknowledging it and finally executing it.

The most difficult bit is process finding the purpose. Your purpose, like pearls in the ocean, are in deep waters within you, you will find it if only you search, and search intentionally not without focus.

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5).

A story is told of a fisherman who goes to sea at dawn to fish. He gets into his canoe, travels far into the deep of the waters because he knows that’s where the sardines and tuna are. He casts his net upon the deep of the waters, seeking to harvest sardines or tuna or even squids (I loooooooveeee squids: don’t judge me😉😉😉😉😋😋😋😋😋). He gets the fihsh he set out to harvest but in the process, he harvests keta school boys, shrimps, crabs. All these come as a bonus. However, if he had cast his net right at the shore, he would have only crabs, shrimps and keta school boys. I am not in anyway undermining these sea creatures. If you get your shrimps with some hot Kenkey on Friday morning you may even forget your name or even crabs in okro stew with banku. Howbeit, that wasn’t what he was looking for.

Moral? If you search deep in the waters, you will find that pearl, that gold, that Ruby. If you search at the shore, you’ll pick up shells. Your purpose is hidden in the deep waters within you, fish for it; for out of you, oh woman, shall flow rivers of living water.



Nothing happens in a vacuum. There exists nothing without a cause, an objective is sought to be achieved at the end of the day. Purpose is what answers the question, “why is that in existence”. Have you asked yourself the Why question before. We are usually susceptible to asking the Who I am question and absolutely ignore the Why am I who I am?

She gets out of bed as the sun rays strike the Ivory voil curtains gorgeously hanging at her windows. She bends her knees before her bed. It was at this point the devil knew he was out of control yeah. She says her morning prayers, heads for her bathroom. She stands in awe, of who she is. What she’s made up of, her most intricate assets are beyond what meets the eye. She stares at how graciously her kinky hair is coiled up in the messy bun she wore to work the previous day. She looks into her eyes, and sees nothing but life. She murmurs, thank you God, for who I am. The woman I am becoming, the girl I was yesterday and the lady I’ll be forever be. I am a Phenomenal Woman.
Just in the nick of time, while she’s having some me time, she pauses for a second as she realises an error. An error that has lingered on for as long as is deemed possible. In a soliloquy, she says, why am I phenomenal? Is it so I can just brag about it? Is it so I can be a self-acclaimed phenomenal woman like some self acclaimed queens? Is it just for the title and applause? Why am I a woman? Why am I me?

Purpose is the reason for which something is. It is why something exists. It also defines a person’s resolve or determination.

It is often said that the most important day in the life of a person is not the day they’re born, but rather the day they pass out of this side of eternity. However, I stand to differ. The most valuable day in the life of every person is the day they discover why they were created. The day you unearth your purpose. The reason is that whatever or however you go about your purpose on earth, determines how you’ll live, and ultimately your eternity.

No one is brought into this world by mistake. I have heard circumstances where a child is regarded as a mistake because the parents had no intention of reproducing their kind. Even before the embryo fertilised and formed a zygote, thus a clot of blood, God knew the life that was within and had a purpose for him or her. You may have gotten pregnant involuntarily, but God did not create that life involuntarily. He’s an intentional God. He doesn’t do anything in the spur of the moment.

Who you are as an individual is fairly easy to discover than why you are who you are. Socialisation, family, religion, education and relationships aid us in discovering our identity. Howbeit, discovering your identity isn’t the end of the journey. Discovering why your identity is such and such is purpose. As a woman, have you ever asked why God made you a woman? And why God made you as an individual?

A purpose driven life is a fulfilled life. It is a life well lived. It is a life thar has direction and focus. It is a joyous and happy life.

Everyone has a purpose, which is distinctive and exclusive to them. In the subsequent weeks (I’ll try to wrap this series up as soon as I can), we’ll discuss PURPOSE.

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman