The Folly of Self Love
The folly of self love is basically refusing to grow, learn, inspire and change. The world will tell you that if people leave your life, let them go! They are the problem, not you. Some will also say they didn’t deserve to be a part of my life, good riddance to bad rubbish. Worse off, is those who say “I am me, deal with who I am or walk away”.
There are two sides to this coin. Truth being told, not everyone has to be a part of your life, which is the first side of this coin. Your life is like a tree. There are the roots, the branches, and the leaves. The leaves in your life are the very temporary people. Those people are not meant to be stuck with you forever. Usually these are the persons who teach you a few lessons about life, relationship and friendship. Mind you, a tree can have millions of leaves, but they’re still leaves. They’re there to take from the tree, and give shade to the tree, thus block your shine.
The branches, are more cunning than the leaves. The branches appear to give some form and stamina to the tree and leaves. It has more direct contact to the tree. However, when a mighty wind blows, or a storm hits the tree, these branches fall off. So will the people who are branches in your life. They give you temporary support and form. It feels as though they’re unimaginably connected to you in all facets of your life; but hold on. When life’s pressures hit you, and the storms of life come at you, they fall off and leave, and all you have left are the roots! THE ROOTS, not visible through the humus filled soiled, but are ever present. Akans have a proverb, that even a stump of tree has hope of growing into a mighty tree again one day, because of the presence of the roots.
The roots are the “realest” people there is. If you have just a few of them in your life, keep them. Because even when your life falls apart, they’ve got nowhere going. They are not fair-weather friends like the branches, neither are they shady friends like the leaves.
The second part of the coin is if no one wants to be a part of your life, you’re the problem. Be it as it may, the leaves, branches and roots come together to form a tree. A tree without roots cannot have branches and consequently leaves. A tree without leaves is deemed to be a dead tree. I guess all I am saying is, regardless of who they are and what part they play in your life, you need one or two people around. If no one, not even “leaves” want to be in your life, my dear, you’re the problem.
I believe one thing in life, that people are drawn to people of their kind. I beg your pardon, even insane people on the streets identify and roll with one another. No matter who you are, there are people you should be able to identify yourself with.
The folly of self love is for those who feel they’re it all. People who always blame others when their friendship or relationship doesn’t work. It takes two to tango.
The basis of the folly of self love is selfishness. The “me, myself and I”. The I am perfect clause. The no need to change who I am for anyone. From where I sit, I have identified three items and misconceptions about self love which results in folly.
• I CAN’T AND WON’T CHANGE; THIS IS WHO I AM: It is indeed true, that God intentionally and deliberately made you who you are. You are unique indeed. But, when you don’t accept that as human, you’re not flawless, and as such you must make the conscious effort to be the better and original you that you are then there’s trouble.
• IF THEY LOVE ME, THEY’LL TAKE ME AS I AM: This is the most pathetic lie you could ever tell yourself. Whatever improvement, growth and change you go through its for yourself first, before society. No one has to deal with a piece of work. No one loves a liability.
• THEY DON’T DESERVE ME: If you’ve ever said this to yourself, I really hope you sat to think about it well. As I mentioned earlier on, you don’t need to keep everyone around you. The bitter truth is there’s always some better deserving than you. No matter who you are, there’s someone, somewhere, this minute, better than you in every sense of the word. All am saying is be wise enough to accept it when something is your fault. It’s difficult I know. Shifting blame always seems like the pleasurable route out, but until when will u keep deceiving yourself, that no one deserves you?