THE WHO FACTOR.
In the “HOW FACTOR” of the Self love series, I ended on the What question. Which is, you can’t choose and pick what to love and what not to love about yourself. The original plan was to continue on that note but there’s been a little bit of a twist that would help the chronology of this series. On that note, today we’ll discuss the “Who Factor”.
I hope it is safe for me to assume that every person reading this post today practises certain basic personal hygiene such as bathing everyday and brushing. Attempt to go 3 days without a bath and you will not recognise yourself in the mirror. Oh and I dare you not to brush your teeth for just 2 days. You’ll look around to see if there’s a gutter around when you open your mouth to yawn. (I’ll come back to this analogy in a bit)
The Who Factor addresses the question who is the object or the receiver of the Self-love. Easy right? Yourself some will say. But just hold on.
Why can’t you just wake up, put on clothes and walk out of your house to work or wherever as the case may be. You will need to keep yourself in a presentable way before you step out of your house. As a person, we realise the need to put some amount of effort in grooming ourselves and taking care of our physical needs and hygiene.
Now the Who Factor refers to you, first of all. But loving the “raw” you doesn’t really help anyone especially you. Bishop Dag Heward Mills in his message titled “HOW TO FULFIL YOUR PROPHECIES” mentioned that as an ordinary person, ‘you are not nice.’ You need to put effort and time to make yourself nice. You need to groom yourself, take care of everything that concerns you to attain a certain level of ‘niceness’.
I do not completely agree with certain extreme body modifications. In my opinion, it is an insult to the one who created you in His image, gave you His life and formed you with His own hands. However, loving the raw, unadulterated, unimproved self is pretty mediocre. The law of nature even supports growth. So must you. You need to grow, and not just in physique. Your spirituality, intellect, personality and everything else that matters. Just as you can’t live without taking a bath or brushing your teeth, you cannot say you love yourself without making the conscious and deliberate effort to become better at every point in time.
The best gift you can give to yourself is to work on the “raw” you. You owe it to yourself, nobody owes you that responsibility. Not your parents, not your pastor, not your spouse. What am I saying, not even God owes you that.
Lazy people who don’t like house chores such as cleaning, washing or cooking don’t bother me. You can always pay someone to get them done for you. In fact that is someone’s occupation and profession. Here’s the real deal, the work you owe to yourself can not be done by anyone else but you.
One aspect of Self love is walking away from anything and anyone that adds no value to your life. The other side of the coin, however, is adding the value to your life yourself.
The value you give yourself, is the value others will give to you. Same unit of measurement. Being your ‘natural’ self or ‘raw’ self isn’t enough. Improve your skills. Make meaningful use of your talents and gifts to benefit others. Live a purpose-filled life. And don’t pass out of this side of eternity full; leave having emptied yourself.