I don’t doubt that should I ask a 5 year old girl at my church to mention any name of an evil woman in the bible, she’ll mention Eve.

The story of Eve is one that has been misunderstood and misrepresented in the word and knowledge of Christ.  Eve is regarded, most of the time as the devil’s accomplice in perpetuating the evil that occasioned in the garden of Eden. 

We have more often than not, assessed this story from the negative point of view. We make our young girls to believe certain misconceptions about femininity, and Eve has been used to fit these misconceptions,(poor her). Among them are;

Women do not accept responsibility for their actions.

Women have an innate feminine guile, which they use at the least opportune time.

Women are talkatives. 

Women are deceptive. 

Enough with the backlash and finger pointing at Eve. Yes it’s enough. It is time for us to sit down and pick up a few great lessons from her.

Eve is a name that derives it’s meaning from Hebrew origin and it means “life”. It comes as no surprise that it is the woman’s body that supports another life and eventually brings it to this world. Now let’s move to the positive lessons we can pick up from the mother of life.

The power of influence. 

Eve never deceived Adam. I have discussed this already my post #the power of influence. Eve knew better than to deceive Adam. Okay let’s make it a bit more understandable. To deceive a person is to lie to them or tell them a half truth to get them to act on what you said. Eve didn’t lie to Adam nor tell him half truth. Bible says “and she took some of the fruit and ate it and GAVE some to her husband, and he also ate”. As simple as that. She would have deceived him if upon having that discussion with the serpent, she said I will let him eat it first. So she goes to him and says my honey boo, I just ate some of this fruit and it’s really succulent meanwhile she hadn’t eaten it. That would have been deceit. She simply used the feminine prowess of influence which is a gift given to all women but we are busily trading it for what is not ours, AUTHORITY. I have mentioned already that influence is a heart thing and authority has to do with the head or mind. It is not for nothing that the bible says guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life. Be a woman of influence. ( for more insight on the power of influence switch the post # the power of influence).

Be creative.

“…and realised they were naked so they SEWED fig leaves together to cover themselves”. After the deed had been done, they both had a choice to feel sorry for themselves and their nakedness and stare at each other with disgust. But no they didn’t. Having no idea at all about what the situation was, they attempted to make it better. 

They made an effort, they took a step right before God intervened and made clothes for them out of animal skin. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying take the step before you involve God, but some people are just extreme  pessimist. They would sit down, hands akimbo and pray OH FATHER YOU SAID I’M BLESSED AMEN. They go to church, sit in the front row, shout the loudest amen to a declaration for an overtaking grace. If you did not know, and you had not been told by anyone, kindly note this down somewhere, prophecies do not fulfill themselves.  You have to work it into its manifestation. Even God himself, with all the prophecies about the messiah coming in the old testament, had to work it into its manifestation. 

Don’t sit down and stare at that situation, complaining from morning till night fall to daybreak again will solve nothing. Get up, take that step, regardless of how dark and slippery the road is. Make that move, ignoring all the impossibilities and God, in his faithfulness, will meet you and sew for you, your cloth.

Thank you for reading. 

Yours truly, 



Back To The Garden (V)


Herodias paced up and down the hall way. She thought to herself, this John of  a Baptist guy must really have some guts to think that he can tell the King Herod not to marry me because I am his brother’s widow. What insolence! I will surely show him that monkeys play by sizes and his size is definitely not in this palace!  I’m sure she must have really been a good mathematician back then. She calculatively knew that when the King is inebriated, he did and said things he would ordinarily not do and say. And Bible says it was the King’s birthday and he threw a lavishly elegant glamorous feast for his soldiers, kinsmen and all the important men of Galilee…in simple and plain language, the feast was by invitation.  And the daughter of Herodias danced and it pleased the king…and he said to the probably teenage innocent girl, ask anything of me and I will give it to you….even up to half my Kingdom.  I am pursuaded to believe that, had her mother not intervened , she would have asked for a new closet or jewellery and accessories or the like. She had no business seeking the death of a man. But her mother saw an opportunity and  she wouldn’t let it pass her by silently. She, as the girl’s mother obviously knew what to tell her daughter to convince her to ask for the head of John the Baptist instead of that fine purple linen and gold accessories. She probably said  to her daughter,… ” mini me, you know mummy loves you and wants the very best for you right, you see that man John the Baptist,  he wants the King not to marry me again because it is a sin”.  But if that happens, we will be evicted from the palace so you see the reason we need his head? The little girl asked that of Herod, and even in his inebriated mood, he knew it was wrong but because he was King and had made an oath, the head of John the Baptist was on a silver platter at the end of the feast, and handed over to the daughter of Herodias. 

This is one kind of Influence that we as Phenomenal women must know, not to emulate it but to disassociate ourselves from it. The evil or bad influence. Had it not been for the evil counsel this woman gave her daughter who in turn asked of it from her step father, John the Baptist would have lived longer. Because Herodias knew that the King would not have granted that wish to her personally,  more so when he was sober, she patiently but desperately waited for an opportune time because she knew her time was running out. This can be related to why the serpent did not appear to Adam himself and say .. ” hey dude,you sure you don’t want to eat from that tree?” But instead it, found itself a channel to get to Adam, influence through Eve. In the same vein, Herod was influenced by Herodias but through her daughter.

And she took one last gracious and extensive look at herself in the mirror, with a smirk on her face, she said as for today Samson cannot resist telling me the truth about where his strength comes from. She cooked him errr lets say  a very sumptuous Ghanaian Jollof with Kelewle, some creamy rich salad and a quater-sized grilled chicken to go with it. She proceeded to chill the fresh wine she got from the wine press.  Set the table, put the candles in the appropriate places to create that atmosphere in the room. She sat gracefully at the table waiting for her prey of a beloved. Samson came in….ate and drunk and tired of Delilah nagging about him lying to her three times already about where his strength came from….(hold on…Let’s go back into that story a little ).  Okay so Samson and Delilah were an item as is common knowledge to us all who went to Sunday school. Delilah was a Philistine woman who had found favour in the sight of Samson. Samson was not to marry from the land of the Philistines but for some very funny reason he did. (Don’t ask me the reason, I don’t know : •) )…but well he did. And the Philistines,  knowing that their own had found favour in the sight of their enemy, decided “carpe diem” thus ceased the opportunity.  They promised to pay her if she was able to deliver Samson to them, but powerless. Now here’s what I don’t even understand about Samson,  here’s a woman whom you say you love but who has on three previous occasions attempted to deliver you up to your enemies and you still stay with her…but then here is the reason ;

Influence is a heart thing.

Michelle Mckinney Hammond in her book, the power of being a woman mentioned  “the gift of Influence is the invisible power that women overlook- the ability to affect the heart of a man in order to change his mind. The heart is the originator of all decisions”.

Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.


 Michelle Mckinney Hammond stated also that “the influence of a woman can make or break a man”.

I wouldn’t limit it to just men. Generally, the power of Influence can make or break anything or anyone. However unfortunately, we all know that this power broke Samson….we all know how it ended for Samson.  Delilah had that ability to affect the heart of Samson such that he changed his mind and eventually told her his secret. As for Delilah, that was the last that was heard of her. Influence is a very delicate issue because it deals with the heart…. which subsequently passes the information on to the mind. But the heart must be ‘lured’ first. 

Now we hear people say  ” my heart is with that person but my mind is telling me otherwise”….and usually we tell them follow your heart…your mind will come to terms with it eventually. 

Why follow your heart?

This week I leave you with a question to ponder on. But please let’s get talking and lets learn from one another. Leave your comments below 👇on the question “why follow your heart?”  

Love; Nelia. 


Back To The Garden (IV) 


Imagine that there were two poultry farmers living on the countyside, such that the radiance of the sun smiled on both farms at the same time because they shared a common boundary.

The purpose and ultimate goal of both farmers is to rear healthy birds to be able to realise thier profits and gains.  To achieve this, they must feed the birds with the appropriate poultry feed and nutrients.

Farmer A, in an unattainable effort to feed his birds, throws the feed sparingly into the feeding trough of these poor vulnerable creatures such that majority of the feed ends up on the dirty ground.  Besides which the birds, fearing for their dear lives and not knowing what is flying about in the air move away from the feeding trough when the farmer throws the feed into the air. As a result of the force the farmer uses, the birds have very little to eat because the feed that even ended up on the ground is beyond their reach as they have been confined. Therefore the nutrients and food they need to grow is “WASTED”.

Farmer B, with the same objective and focus of feeding his birds with the same feed Farmer A uses, carefully, calmly and patiently puts the feed into the feeding trough of hua birds and subsequently lures them to eat the feed.

Now which of these two farmers will at the end of the day produce healthy poultry that will sell very well on the market which will ultimately give the farmers what they set out to accomplish; positive results and profit?

Farmer A utilised the power of Authority. Authority in the sense that ” As a leader or the owner or the head, I have made available all you need to work with or to grow. Whether you are able to actually use what has been given to you to fulfill a purpose or a cause, I don’t care but at the same time I need results.”

Farmer B, does not only make available all that is needed to work with or grow, but takes time to ensure that what he has given is not repelled or rejected or underutilised. In effect, he ensures beyond every iota of doubt that his followers, in this instance the birds have eaten the feed, and he does this with the littlest detail of patience as he possibly can. In the end, he is involved in the results needed-INFLUENCE. 

*Influence*, the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behaviour of someone or something, or the effect itself.  Influence is the ability to shape people to your specification by making them to internalise your message, meditate over it and consequently practicalize it.

*Authority*, the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience. Authority is established by regulation, legislation or even societal beliefs and cultures.

A child may pursuade a father to make a certain decision(influence) but the ultimate decision lies within the bosom of the father (authority ).

When God created Adam, He gave him the authority over all creations even to the extent that he named every living creature and those names remained so…God  didn’t reappeal nor reject any name Adam gave. That was some level of authority available to Adam. For a creator to give you the honour of naming his handiwork. Its like Samsung asking Apple to name its gadgets and whatever they call it will be….Note that at this point the woman had not been created. But when God made the woman, in Genesis 3 v 16 He said”….and he shall RULE over you”…So instead of fighting men for the authority given to them, trying out every possible means to be equal with them and to be them, why will you not channel that same energy, enthusiasm and zeal into exploiting and harnessing the ability God gave you, the ability of Influence.

 1st Timothy 2:12-14.

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

In Sunday school, many of us were made to believe in our naive innocent minds that Eve deceived Adam into eating the forbidden fruit. However that was an error planted in our minds. Adam was not deceived, he was influenced by Eve.

It was Adam God specifically told not to eat the fruit. Eve heard from Adam…which qualifies it as being a hearsay which I believe in our world today is inadmissible in court. Don’t get me wrong, am not saying because Eve heard it from Adam she actually has a defence , NO. She’s guilty as charged. (A piece of free advice..next time someone tells you that person said, verify the information given out yourself if you can).

But let’s be practical yeah…

Mummy is leaving home for work. At the time she’s leaving, her second daughter Ashley is still in bed so she tells her first daughter, Marie, I have left you some food in the microwave. Do not touch anything in the refrigerator.  Ashley finally gets out of bed and Marie tells her, mummy said she’s left us food in the microwave. And that we should under no circumstance eat anything from the refrigerator.

Sometime during lunch Ashley’s friend, Adele comes to visit and she says am starving. Anything to munch on? Ashely says oh there’s some food in the microwave and the refrigerator but Marie told me mummy said we should just eat the one in the microwave.

Adele tells Ashely, what if Marie is lieing because she wants to have the one in the refrigerator to herself.  Or maybe mummy doesn’t want you to eat it because that is a special meal she’s prepared and it’s tastier than the one in the microwave.

That was the situation Eve found herself in. I believe and this is my own personal opinion, that if Eve had actually heard the warning from God himself, she would have acknowledged it with a lot of weight than she did.. Mind you the serpent didn’t present Eve with any new facts. He just sweetened the matter by saying oh yes He God doesn’t want you to be like him that’s why He instructed your husband who passed it on to you.

Eve took a look at the tree again, this time with a twisted vision and perception and actually contemplates what the devil said…and it made sense to her that oh yes, it is so. She takes a tasty juicy bite of the fruit.  Now watch this…Eve doesn’t deceive Adam…Bible records that and she gave it to him…

Eve needed Adam to eat of the fruit, and she knew better than to go and deceive him into eating it because he was the bearer of the warning from God…the only thing she could do was to influence him by propably saying oh I actually just took a bite of it and boo (as she would have called him if it were to be today) the taste cannot be underrated!!!

Join me next week as we delve deeper and deeper into INFLUENCE, in the meantime  there’s  a surprise coming up mid-week and I bet you can’t wait if I gave you a tinny winny idea about it.

 And thanks for reading. Don’t forget to leave a comment and hit the like button as well. #still phenomenally phenomenal. 


Back To The Garden (III)

The diversity and versatility  of womanhood. (The proverbs 31 woman ).

the real tragedy is that the transition back to being that soft fluffy gentle soul of a woman after leaving the seemingly men’s world is a struggle many cannot overcome thereby loosing themselves”.

We have lived this lie in society for centuries. Society has made women to believe that it’s either you go the “man’s” way and loose yourself as a woman or be that soft fluffy gentle soul of a person, and which is what society deems feminity to be all about; vulnerability; which is deemed to be weakness.

Vulnerability is not weaknesses.

It is strength in disguise.

However millions of years ago, a certain kind of woman was described in the Bible, in Proverbs 31 and guess what? That certain kind of woman still exists in today’s world. That woman exists in YOU! I can say that tens of thousands of times and not miss a word. The legacy of the proverbs 31 woman still lives on and it lives in YOU my dear Phenomenal Woman.

That woman is the hub and center of diversity and versatility in womanhood.

Today, we shall take a walk through certain carefully selected aspects of Proverbs 31 at the end of which the diversity and versatility of womanhood will be brought to light.

Before we delve into the atmosphere of the proverbs 31 woman, let’s define Diversity and versatility.

Diversity is the condition of being composed of or made up of different elements and qualities.

Versatility is derived from the Latin word “versatillis” which means the ability to adopt and adapt to many different situations.  

It stands to reason, therefore that versatility is the physical manifestation and evidence of the diverse qualities and elements which is imbibed in a person.


31:13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

31:24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

  • These verses describes the industrious, occupational and professional qualities of the woman. Some years ago in our society, we were made to believe that as women we were of little or no benefit to society economically. Ours was just to keep the home and family, besides that,we had nothing substantial to offer society. Bit by bit that notion has been defeated by different schools of thoughts but it’s quite sad and disheartening to know that there are still some sectors in society that still cling on to this barbaric and Ungodly argument. 

In  previous centuries and civilisation, wool and flax were the essential raw materials for the making of linen(v. 24).The importance of these two raw materials can be likened to the trade of ‘KENTE’ now.

Women are equally beneficial to the economic growth of the home, the family and nation.


31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

31:20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

  • Tada!! There you have it. The most popular reason for which you exist as a woman.  The warm, caring, hospitable and compassionate nature of womanhood. It is this quality of the woman that makes her to be a “mother”. The importance of this nature cannot be overemphasised in womanhood. However, withthat notwithstanding, the woman has a lot more to offer than just being the household kind off woman. She was made for a lot more than to just keep the home. 


31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 

  • My dear Phenomenal Woman, the opinion and school of thought that is of the stance that men have to do the working, saving, investment and acquisition of properties is an error, a very shallow way of thinking for myopic minds and childish brains. (I’m sorry I had to be harsh on this but it’s just sickening ). The proverbs 31 woman makes a decent earning by working willingly with her hands,(v13) she buys and makes properties out of that living  (v16) and she develops and invests what she receives; thus by planting the vineyard! 


31:18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.


  • This  woman is proactive, she’s innovative and has foresight. She ensures that there’s enough oil in her lamp such that it doesn’t go out in the middle of the night. I’m pretty much sure she would have passed the test of the virgins who were waiting for their brides groom and undoubtedly would be a wise virgin as such. She provides the appropriate clothing for her household at all times and seasons. In a word, she is wise!
  • Now here’s my favourite part of today’s post.


31:17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

31:25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

Women are fire and light. We are steel, armour and diamonds. In our bosom lies strength, our loins are girded with dignity and honour.

Enough of the lies that we were made to be the weakling in society. That we were, but a soft gentle fluffy soul who’s only reason for existing was to be at the mercy and approval  of another creation.

We only, have the superpower of being gentle souls wrapped in the powerful arms of strength. It is for this reason that the woman is the one who has the strength to go through a gestation period of carrying another human being, birth them amidst painful and unbearable contractions and dilation and yet carefully,with love and attention nurture the adorably cutiee pie of a baby forever! Yes forever! No one stops being a mother until they are transitioned into eternity.

Above all, beauty is vain and charm is deceptive, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised! 

Hey lovelies!

Thank you for being an  awesome audience. Let me know what you think by way of commenting 👇.

Love Nelia ✌

Back To The Garden (II)

How do women fulfil the purpose for which they were made.

God’s original non-negotiable unbargainable blueprint is for women to complement men, to be helpmeets and valuable additions to men” Nelia Gyemfi.

In my previous post, I submitted to you the reason why the woman was created was not to be equal with the man, but rather be a helpmeet and a valuable addition. Before a woman will be able to play this enviable yet very pivotal role, she must know what gifts or unique features she has as a woman. These gifts or unique features are like arrows and weapons in the hand of a soldier, with which they perform their functions as such. It is when the woman has come to the full knowledge and understanding of these gifts and unique features exclusive to womanhood that she can fulfil her God-given purpose!


The cardinals of the purpose of womanhood.

☆ the wombman(the multiplier effect ).
☆the diversity of womanhood.
☆the influence factor.

This post will dwell on the wombman or the multiplier effect. The remaining two cardinals will be published in subsequent posts.

The wombman  (the multiplier effect ).
Here we will be doing a little bit of scientific application and some algebra as well.

♡Now basically  womb + man = wombman or alternatively wombman-womb=man.
Women are simply men with a unique feature distinct to just them! Women are men with an icecream topping or an extra cheese on that pizza. That topping on the icecream or the extra cheese on the pizza gives it an added value and comes at an extra cost.
That topping or extra cheese is the womb! Yes the womb!

In the Garden of Eden Eve knew that God put something inside of her that man did not possess which made her. This thing was to allow her to incubate, nurture, care for and expand life.

Scientifically the womb is an organ in the body of a woman and other female mammals in which a baby is formed and it subsequently develops.

♡The first significance of the womb being present in the woman is its ability to Nurture… the womb has the ability to  incubate and protect what is as insignificant as a clot of blood till a human is formed out of it. This can be likened to the viable soil, in which when a seed is planted germinates to be a mighty tree. The womb has the super power to multiply and make great the little that is given to it…which is automatically imbibed in the woman.
“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperms, she will give you a baby, if you give her a house, she will give you a home. If you give her groceries, she will give you a meal, if you give her a smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges whatever is given to her” William Golding .

♡ The womb provides structural integrity and support to other organs of the body. Can we relate support, complement and being helpmeets?    ofcourse we can! The womb being a leaning shoulder to other organs of the body only goes to reiterate the undeniable fact that women were born helpers.

The difference between man and woman was purposely intended and intentionally fashioned for the completion of each other and not for unnecessary competition and chaos. Difference does not mean one is inferior to the other…it simply means we have different roles to play and different gifts and abilities to enable us play those roles both individually and collectively. ”

Next post: the diversity of womanhood.

Hi there, Thanks a million for reading this piece. It is my humble attempt at building ourselves up to become that phenomenal woman in today’s world. Please leave a comment and share the link with a fellow phenomenal woman.
Love Nelia 😘

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Back To Eden – the blueprint of Womanhood.

The Blueprint of Womanhood.

Once upon a time, over millions of years ago in the cool of the day, with butterflies fluttering, birds chirping melodies and the perfume of the lavender, daffodil and rose flower diffusing into the atmosphere,  God put Man to a deep sleep and formed his last creation out of the rib of Man.

Man woke up from his deep sleep and in an amazing excitement exclaimed this is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh! She shall be called
Wo-man(wombman : man with a womb).
for she came out of a man.

There is a reason God formed woman out of the rib of Man. Not from his foot to be belittled neither from his skull to be above him but his rib to be one with him, to complement him!
Now hold on, before you get all excited about being ‘one’. To be ‘one’ is not to be equal to something or someone. On the contrary to be one is to add value to something or someone by fostering unity and agreement.

God’s original non-negotiable unbargainable blueprint is for women to complement men, to be helpmeets, to be valuable additions to men.


Our generation is becoming too busy trying to establish a baseless argument that women were made to be like men. Women have felt devalued and powerless, causing them to embrace the modern day fallacy that they must operate by male standards in order to gain reputation in today’s world.
As result of this ‘identity crisis’ women are loosing their uniqueness. The today’s woman is any other person than herself, jeopardising the very reason for her existence as a result of personal abuse and underutilised potentials.

My darling lady, here is the good news, God is still God and He, like always provides a way out. It is therefore my pleasure to announce to you that all is not lost. Women have not lost their purpose in entirety, but in an attempt to tussle between being a woman and competing in what looks like a man’s world have lost the way towards it.
The real tragedy is that the transition back to being that soft fluffy gentle soul of a woman after leaving the seemingly ‘men’s world ‘ is a struggle many cannot overcome thereby loosing themselves!!

Next post: How do women fulfil the purpose for which they were made?

Thanks a million for reading. We are all building ourselves up to be that phenomenal woman in today’s world. Please do leave a comment and share the link with a fellow phenomenal woman.
Love Nelia

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Phenomenal women

dear Nelia,
Here’s a story of a young lady…who thought she needed power to make an impact in the world around her.

there lived a young girl…whose purpose and passion was to make an impact…a positive impact in the lives of the ladies on her campus. She waited till her third year…and her enthusiasm grew stronger as it was the semester to contest for the prestigious enviable position of the women’s commissioner! She took the bold courageous step as it was not an easy decision to make especially with regards to the tension which engulfed the elections that year.
Fast forward to vetting, campaigning and finally the election day.
She lost the election…and she thought to herself that was the end of her purpose and she could feel the life in her passion die out every passing second.
Nelia, that lady is you.
Now you need to understand
You do not need to be in power to be a leader!
You can still make that impact without being given a mandate…and that’s when people acknowledge the impact. 
Disappointments occur because there are positive possibilities in your life. Use the occasion to explore and express the best of those possibilities
Turn those disappointments into a possibility of fulfilling your purpose and birth the passion in you!  
                                Love, the inner you!