The Phenomenal Woman

The Missing Link: Charm vs Substance

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The Missing Link: Charm vs Substance Charm and substance is gradually becoming a delicate topic among young Christian women in recent times. There has been constant talk on how to look appealing and attractive without being revealing and subsequently be academically fit, eloquent in speech, courteous, have very strong morals, possess and exhibit a Godly character; and oh! Be instrumental in the home as well ; be a woman of substance. Is there a relationship between being modestly attractive and possessing good morals? What is the connection between charm and substance and how important is it? To find out let\’s take this scenario of a jewellery box and beautiful pearls; With all the beauty and attractiveness of the jewellery box, its still what it contains that matters the most; the pearls. The pearls actually receive most of the praise regardless of what the box looks like, due to the fact that it is protecting the pearls, they(pearls) still maintain their lustre. Its the pearls that are being carried about so they receive more attention than the box does. However, if the box in which the pearls are kept is rusted, old and dirty, nobody actually cares about what it contains. The owner would have to go an extra mile to open up the box before people will begin to appreciate the value of the pearls. On the other hand, if the jewellery box is perhaps coated with gold with a silver outline and we open it only to realise what is in is just stone beads, there would be a cloud of disappointment that will take forever to disseminate into thin air. There is a link, between Charm and Substance. Now back to charm and substance. The relationship is somewhat similar to that of the box and the pearls. Studying the text of Proverbs 31 attentively, we realise there’s a link between charm and substance. That missing link, is the intentionality of dignity. Alas, reading the very last verse, one can safely conclude that charm and beauty are not only what there is to a Woman. Relating this to society, women are always made conscious of the fact that their beauty will fade away, presupposing that there’s little to gain from our beauty as women. Women are constantly reminded that after they bring forth new lives into this side of eternity, their body and charm lose its form as such, they ought to be humble at the time when they have it all together. This is a misconception that many hide behind to body shame women or to even put undue pressure on them to marry else once they loose their beauty, that’s the end. God made woman, curvaceous with all the shapes in the right places. He gave us the softest of skin both in our front and back. He gave us the finest shapes of legs and calves, eyes that light up the stars and he crowned it with our hair. I have said already, that our God is a God of intentionality and precision. He wouldn’t have done all these just to show off that yeaah He’s the creator. It was all intended to be a part of the persona of the last creation; woman. The vanity of beauty is not in its fading away with time, but it is in its death. The controversy however, is the missing link between the charm and Substance. Charm is indeed deceitful, and beauty is vain, but not when it is in consonance with the fear of God; Substance. Charm is the power or quality of delighting, attracting, or fascinating others.Charm is that one thing that gets people bewildered with all sorts of emotions and thoughts but it doesn’t stand the test of time. charm is too good to be true. Charm is deceitful. Beauty, on the other hand is fleeting, just like a flower. Blossoms today, dried up and wrinkled tomorrow. But isn’t that the truth of life and mortality? Don’t men also get all wrinkled up and shrunk in their old age? Substance, on the other hand is the real physical matter of which a person or thing consists and which has a tangible, solid presence. Substance could also be defined as the most important or essential part of something; the real or essential meaning. Putting this in context of our jewellery box and pearls scenario,  the box will be \”Charm\” and the pearls \”Substance \”. Proverbs 31 v 22 “ she makes bedspreads and WEARS CLOTHES OF FINE PURPLE LINEN”. You can put on the best and very expensive brands of makeup shoes and clothes as a Christian woman. What matters also is your dignity and modesty even as you keep yourself. In my few years on earth, the women who genuinely fear the Lord, even in their old age, glow in beauty. It’s as if they never age or they even age backward. Rev Mrs Rosemond Eastwood Anaba, Rev Adelaide Heward Mills, Mrs Bernice Offei, Akosua Agyepong, Tagoe Sisters and even Daughters of Glorious Jesus to mention a few. These are women, who have brought forth into this world, who have gone through all the phases of Womanhood. But their skin is still radiant, they are still glowing, and most importantly, are still a beauty to behold. Dr Shirley Ceasar, Cece Winans, Juanita Bynum, Pastor Paula White and even Joyce Meyer who is over 70 years old. The point I’m making is, the Christian woman must and should take care of her body, have substance, and integrate both of them. You need to clothe yourself in “fine linen”. I\’m in no way advising that you dress over budget because that is a unreasonable…… You’re the KING’S DAUGHTER, don’t ignore your physical upkeep in the name of humility or Christ. However, do not, under any circumstance, give all the attention to your beauty and Charm at the expense of your substance, then it becomes deceitful and fleeting as there’s nothing left of you. Proverbs 31:30 reads,

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CHARM vs. SUBSTANCE

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Amidst shouting and yelling on top lungs and intestines, Maame Nyarkoa packed her belongings from her matrimonial bedroom and the closet she had owned for 10 years into the back room of the house, also known as boys quarters. She watched in tears as the Penelope moved into her place. Sadly, this wasn’t over her dead body. It was as though her life had become a scripted movie Or perhaps, as though she was watching a 3D movie were she could feel every bit of emotion being acted. She wishes to pause the scene and rewind. How about I cut this scene off as the director of this movie? She couldn’t. As Facebook live would have it, she had to live in the moment. No allowance for editing or pausing or fixing. Maame Nyarkoa had been married to this man for the past 10 years. She was a professional baker and so she worked from home. She had her bakery at her backyard. She bakes the yummiest of all cakes and the freshest of all breads. She was a wise woman who built her home, as proverbs 14 v 1 would have it. She was industrious, she was proactive, she was diligent and dignified. Her marriage was bliss until her husband fell amidst a pack of wolves. Friends, they said they were. “You’re now the Chief Executive Officer of Tullow. Is it everywhere you can take that baker of a wife to?” Friend one says. “Oh that woman who’s always reeking of flour, eggs and margarine mixed together” said another friend. They all burst into laughter over the drinks they were having that Friday night in honour of their newly promoted friend. Dan Otoo had lived with this woman for the past 10 years. Shared the same bedroom, same bed, same bathroom and even sometimes same towel but had never realised his wife smelled like flour, eggs and margarine mixed together until the unscrupulous elements who call themselves friends said it? Isn’t it amazing? You need an Executive woman as a wife. One who smells like lavender oil immersed in vanilla extract. One whose hands are not scared with oven burns. The friends told him. The poor man found sense in what his friends fed him. That night, Maame Nyarkoa’s woes begun. Dan came home in a miserable state of drunkenness. You pig! You can’t take care of yourself. You’re always looking white like Ghost. Educated woman like you. You decided to quit your job to do what again? Remind me you, you, you, (stretched his hand as if to hit her but she swerved it….) So just like that, their marriage went from wee to pee. To the point where Maame Nyarkoa was put under duress to move into the back room. She earned a lot from her business. She was eventually able to purchase a new home for herself and relocated her business there as well with her two daughters. Dan Otoo and his new wife, Penelope lived a life out of this world. Penelope was a Banker as such she fit perfectly into the shoes of a trophy wife. All was mesmerising until they begun to taste the other sides of each other. Dan was not the intentional kind of man. He would leave his socks flying up and about without care. Penelope looked like a prim and proper lady on the surface but was low key lazy. She had the kind of temper that takes the breaking of glasses to calm down. She was a drug addict and a drunk. Okay, flashback. Penelope happened to be Mr Oto’s relationship officer at the bank. The kind of woman that you see and you say to yourself, this is the doing of the Lord, and it is Marvellous in my sight. In a word, she was Charming. Dan asked her out on a date. One thing led to another, and for some reason known only to Dan, he thought it wise to replace a ruby with a gold plated stone. Meanwhile, Maame Nyarkoa continued her duties as a mother to her babies. Hard as it was, she was able to forgive Dan and opened herself up again to meet people. She met Kirk who used to patronise her baked goods very often. She knew Kirk was a good man but was she ready? One night, her second daughter, Danielle had a fever and was throwing up all over. With no one to call, she finally decided this was the time for Kirkby to prove himself, not only as a Paediatrician, but as the Father he’s promised he was going to be to these angels. Kirk got to her home in less than 10 minutes. He found Danielle on the floor, in an attempt to lift her up into the bath, “wrrrrruuuuuuhhhhh” she puked on him. He just smiled and said, “that’s it baby. You gon feel better after a bath…” Two weeks later, Kirk and Maame Nyarkoa got engaged. As the world we live in would have it, the same unscrupulous elements of friends forwarded the pictures to Dan, who was almost Bankrupt as he couldn’t keep up with the lavish lifestyle of Penelope but for fear of being alone, kept on borrowing from the banks. It was at this point, that regret smeared him like shea butter on a baby’s skin. Now, the Scripture Beauty is Vain, and Charm is deceptive, but a Woman who fears the Lord is to be honoured made sense to him. In the words of Kalybos he exclaimed “Awurade m’adi Nkwaseas3m” . He realised he had cast his pearl away only to pickup a stone. He remembered how the smell of butter and fresh baked cookies in his home was always very welcoming… He remembered how of the friends he had, he was the only one blessed with a family.. He remembered that indeed, Maame Nyarkoa was a Woman of Substance. Here’s just an introduction to our new series; CHARM V

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A Woman vis – a – vis a Wife

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THE WOMAN VIS-A-VIS THE WIFE BEING A WOMAN OF PURPOSE. \”BONE OF MY BONE, FLESH OF MY FLESH HE EXCLAIMED! I SHALL CALL HER WOMAN\”  Woman, was the last creation of God, not a wife. A wife is a woman who has been found by a man, and all necessary protocols observed. A woman, was the last creation of God, the man with the value added. (On the lighter note, that’s why women are more appealing physically, in stature, in movements, in curves and bends, in smell and others….) Often times, we have forced women to act as wives, when they’re not wives yet, or even to men who are not their husbands. The purpose of a woman and the purpose of a wife are independent of one another, inasmuch as there may be some common denominators. An account is given of a woman who had an altercation with a man earlier this week here in Accra. The woman, driving her kids to School got to a point where the traffic was not moving. She beckoned the man driving ahead of her to reverse and allow her to drop her kids of at the school which was not far. The man got out his vehicle, and begins to “put the woman in her place”. Saying she should know her place in society and be submissive to the man. He further rants that he has her type at home, referring to his wife. (I am positive she would be very much disturbed if she was present ). The story goes on and on as the woman did give her two sense. Now, please and please, gone are the days when we were obliged to respect and honour gender, the male gender. In the world we live in today, respect and honour is given to he who earns it and deserves it. It is not even scripture, that the woman should be submissive to man. It states wife, be submissive to your own Husband as unto Christ. As an unmarried woman, I am under no obligation to revere or submit to someone because he’s a man just as the man who is not married to me is under no obligation to love me. Even as a married woman, my oath of submission is to my husband, and not to just any other male on the street. 1st Peter 3 v 1 In the same way, you wives must submit to yourselves to your husbands……. I, as woman, I am to respect and be respected as a person, as the human being I am. That’s all. When I am married, I am to submit to the man who came to my house and paid my bride price and took me to be his wife. Men shouldn’t walk around shoulder high preaching submission to every woman you meet on your street. If she’s not your wife, respect her as the person she is and that respect will be reciprocated. Respect is given to them who earn it, them who deserve it, and them who reciprocate it. A woman, just as a man, has a purpose. The purpose of a woman is not to find husband and give him children and on and on. We train up young women to anticipate being wives, and barely encourage them to live a purpose-filled. I cannot over emphasise this enough, woman, your purpose was not to be a wife. You too, can have ambition, can have dreams, yes marriage can be a part of it, but it shouldn’t be the entirety of it all. Never should the success of a woman be equated to her marital status. Yes, indeed marriage has its own glory and grace it bestows on the couple, especially a woman, but never should a woman be made to feel as though her entire life is like Genesis 1v 1-2, without form or void, with darkness covering the face of the deep. The purpose of the woman is first and foremost to worship God. He created us for His pleasure Gen 1:26-30. Your life as a purpose, should bring Glory to God. It takes us back to the previous piece on Purpose, your purpose should be aligned with God’s will. It should be traceable to the Heavens. Then a woman was created to be a help meet to the man(Gen 2:18-22). This is probably the only denominator between being a woman and being a wife. God could have given woman any other purpose but being a helper. However, he saw the need for a helper in the life of man. The position of the helper should never be disregarded because one of the many names of God is “God my HELPER”. All things being equal, it stands to reason that the WOMAN, a Helper shares an attribute or an appellation with the Father. A woman\’s purpose, just like any other person, is exclusive to her, is relevant, must be aligned with God’s greater purpose and it directs her path in life.(refer to previous post on PURPOSE   http://rubiesworth.com/factsofpurpose/). A goodly woman will be one who has dignity, self respect, love and a good heart. She is woman of Substance. It would be improper and unacceptable if I do not mention that the wife you become is founded on the woman you have always been. Whether we like it or not, agree or not, accept it or not, there are roles and responsibilities for both individuals in marriage. How well a woman plays her role as a wife depends on how well she established and played her role as a woman. The core heavenly mandate of The Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network is to raise an army of goodly women, who have amongst other things, lived up to the purpose of a Woman, as an Individual and as a part of the last creation of God. Consequently, the Phenomenal Woman who marries would have prepared herself well and would have laid the foundation of her marriage.

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Facts of Purpose

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THE LIFE OF PURPOSE  The most important day in a lifetime is not when you passed out into this side of eternity (your birthday). Neither is it the day you find love, get a job, make the first million dollars. It is the day you find “PURPOSE”. It is almost impossible, to find your purpose outside of the confines of your relationship with God. That is to say after you find God, you must uncover your purpose in Him. Jesus Christ, in all His Majesty and Divinity was brought into this world to fulfill a purpose, which we all know. It tells me that God is intentional about every soul creeping upon the surface of this earth. Okay maybe, someone might say Jesus Christ is a biased example. How about John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Moses, Samuel, and you, yes you! In this piece we’re discussing the Characteristics of Your Purpose. Determiners that will bring to bare your purpose. Imagine you’re in a test laboratory right, today we’re putting purpose to the test by putting various chemicals into a test tube to ascertain purpose. (Hehe I think I should consider changing profession, a scientist won’t be a bad fit). Let’s cut to the chase loves…. 1. Everyone has a purpose, and your purpose was pre-ordained: Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. As I have said in earlier posts, God never creates us by chance. He is not a God of Probabilities. He’s a God of certainty and intentionality. If you believe He made you, believe He made you for a purpose, and that purpose was aforethought before your existence. Find that purpose in Him and accomplish it, and trust me, you’ll reap benefits right here on earth and in eternity. Della Reese was an African-American Actress, Singer and Preacher whose career spanned over seven decades. She’s famously known for her role in TOUCHED BY ANGEL as Tess. She passed into eternity on November 19th 2017 at Peace in her home. She was 86. You’d wonder why the biography of a woman I never met physically. I grew up watching this woman every Sunday evening and heaven bares me witness, that she always brought a ray of light in my heart at the end of every episode. Inasmuch as I knew it was scripted, I believed that indeed, God exists, and angels are real. That God loves us and wishes for us to turn to Him always. She together with Monica and Andrew taught me that when you really believe in God, it gives you a courage, a confidence that enables you to meet the things coming. When I learnt of her passing, the only thing I said was, an angel is going back home. My point is, this woman’s role in the cbs drama touched many lives, and renewed the love of God in the hearts of many, through acting as an angel. Yes Acting. At the end of it all, your purpose must conform to the will of God, which leads to my next point. 2. Your Purpose should be aligned to God’s ultimate Will or Purpose for Mankind: the ultimate purpose of your life, is to expand the kingdom of God, of course through diverse means. If you feel you’ve found your purpose, ask yourself how does my purpose help in the Kingdom? If it doesn’t, then I’m afraid it’s all in your head. You cannot fulfill God’s purpose for your life while focusing on your own plans- Rick Warren I have a personal testimony in connection with this quote. When I started The Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network, one day I was setting out plans and all. I found that I was clueless. All I knew was Phenomenal Woman had to be established. I was frustrated so I just lay on my bed, attempting to sleep. At that point I fell into a trance, and I heard a voice tell me, FOCUS, BUT NOT ON YOURSELF, FOCUS ON ME. 3. Your Purpose is Exclusive to You: Not even one person has another master key to your purpose except you. No one has the copyright or patent. The reason you need to stay true to yourself is that in being what you’re not, the whole of Humanity, especially the body of Christ, misses out on your authenticity and uniqueness. Purpose, like fingerprints are distinct and are never a match to any other persons’. 4. Your Purpose is Relevant: Due to the exclusive nature and distinctiveness of your purpose, it is relevant. The relevance of your purpose should not be undermined or intimated by the existence of other purposes. I bake, but there are a lot of bakeries in Accra, not to even talk of Ghana and the world. Does that deter me from my passion ? No, I believe I have my market out there. There are people who will prefer my cakes and crave for my taste so I continued to thrive. In business, it’s called Competition, but I will call it relevance for the sake of our topic. Even in blogging and doing what I do with regards to young women, there are a lot of networks springing up day in day out but I believe I have a peculiar and distinct purpose which is exclusive to just the Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network, that is Relevance. 5. Your Purpose Determines Your Company: Bad company corrupts good morals. What has light got to do with darkness? Be ye not unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. Your purpose directs you to the people you meet and associate with. You cannot be at one end of the extreme, and associate with the other end of the extreme. In fact, it will come naturally. Your purpose moves you towards like-minded people, but you’ll also have to make the conscious effort of engaging

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Purpose

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Purpose Nothing happens in a vacuum. There exists nothing without a cause, an objective is sought to be achieved at the end of the day. Purpose is what answers the question, \”why is that in existence\”. Have you asked yourself the Why question before? We are usually susceptible to asking the Who I am question and absolutely ignore the Why am I who I am? She gets out of bed as the sun rays strike the Ivory voil curtains gorgeously hanging at her windows. She bends her knees before her bed. It was at this point the devil knew he was out of control yeah. She says her morning prayers, heads for her bathroom. She stands in awe, of who she is. What she\’s made up of, her most intricate assets are beyond what meets the eye. She stares at how graciously her kinky hair is coiled up in the messy bun she wore to work the previous day. She looks into her eyes, and sees nothing but life. She murmurs, thank you God, for who I am. The woman I am becoming, the girl I was yesterday and the lady I\’ll be forever be. I am a Phenomenal Woman. Just in the nick of time, while she\’s having some me time, she pauses for a second as she realises an error. An error that has lingered on for as long as is deemed possible. In a soliloquy, she says, why am I phenomenal? Is it so I can just brag about it? Is it so I can be a self-acclaimed phenomenal woman like some self acclaimed queens? Is it just for the title and applause? Why am I a woman? Why am I me? Purpose is the reason for which something is. It is why something exists. It also defines a person\’s resolve or determination. It is often said that the most important day in the life of a person is not the day they\’re born, but rather the day they pass out of this side of eternity. However, I stand to differ. The most valuable day in the life of every person is the day they discover why they were created. The day you unearth your purpose. The reason is that whatever or however you go about your purpose on earth, determines how you\’ll live, and ultimately your eternity. No one is brought into this world by mistake. I have heard circumstances where a child is regarded as a mistake because the parents had no intention of reproducing their kind. Even before the embryo fertilised and formed a zygote, thus a clot of blood, God knew the life that was within and had a purpose for him or her. You may have gotten pregnant involuntarily, but God did not create that life involuntarily. He\’s an intentional God. He doesn\’t do anything in the spur of the moment. Who you are as an individual is fairly easy to discover than why you are who you are. Socialisation, family, religion, education and relationships aid us in discovering our identity. Howbeit, discovering your identity isn\’t the end of the journey. Discovering why your identity is such and such is purpose. As a woman, have you ever asked why God made you a woman? And why God made you as an individual? A purpose driven life is a fulfilled life. It is a life well lived. It is a life thar has direction and focus. It is a joyous and happy life. Everyone has a purpose, which is distinctive and exclusive to them. In the subsequent weeks (I\’ll try to wrap this series up as soon as I can), we’ll discuss PURPOSE. Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

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The Woman At The Well: Freedom in Truth

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The Woman At The Well Our fair story begins in the town of Sychar in the region of Samaria as a woman writes in her diary: Dear Diary, Today was hotter than most days and as usual, I was walking to Jacob’s well all alone… *Sigh*… when I noticed this fiiiiiiiinnneeee man sitting on the edge. From the looks of it, he is Jewish! I mean, his sandals, his hair, his nose…. Just screaming Jewish to me. That meant that I was going to get one load of a talk down because Jewish and Samaritans just don\’t vibe.. you get what I mean? Alright so I fetch my water as far away from him as possible when this man asks me for some of my water. First off, I think this man must be lost or something because: 1. Jewish and Samaritans do not share bowls… they hate us! Well our fathers told us after the Israelites who settled in Sychar were defeated by the Asssyrians, the Samaritans intermarried them. This made the Jews furious as they believed the true blood of Isreal had been altered by Pagans. They found no need in associating with us anymore. So yes they despise us. 2. I am a woman and one dishonoured woman as a fact so he, as a rabbi and all, isn\’t meant to talk to me at all. So I state the obvious about Jews, Samaritans and bowls then he says, \”If only you knew what God gives and who it is that is asking you for a drink, you would ask him and he would give you life-giving water\” Surprised, I look at his feet. There was no bucket at all so I told him how deep the well was. He listened with a smug grin as I asked where he would get the water from. \”You don\’t claim to be greater than our father Jacob, do you? \” He tips his head to the well and says, \”All those who drink this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water that I give him will never be thirsty again\”. I look at him like ohh so if you do have water that when one drinks of, one will never thirst again, why must you bug me for water? He goes on further and said the water would come from a spring that gives life-giving water to give eternal life. Woah, where my cup at? Then, He tells me to hold up and asks for my husband and that\’s when your girl right here gets real shy. I tell him that I have no ring on my finger and he says I know you\’ve been married to five men and the guy I live with hasn\’t put a ring on me. Prophesy game strong, I see. He goes on talking about worship and when I mention that I know the Messiah will come to tell we, Samaritans everything, he says he *is* the Messiah. Soon, his company appears and from the looks on their faces it looks like they aren’t happy. I dash away to tell the others that the Messiah actually spoke to me. Talk about a story.. Now, right now, I am wondering why the Messiah, saviour of the world, looked through the fact that I am a Samaritan Woman and spoke to me. I know I am not the type to talk to… I mean, I go to the well all alone when going to the well is supposed to be something fun and chatty for women to do in groups… I married five men and I\’m with my sixth in the series…. I am Samaritan, one who worships God on mountains… Well, not much to be proud of, if you catch my flow but hey, He actually looked through this to say \”what\’s up\”. Well, then that means God must be this carefree and free spirited( ie He really sees me through His eyes and love). He won\’t care if I was jobless, homeless or was a harlot, He would look through my flaws and talk to me. He won\’t jeer or scowl because He is not human, not like the other gods or even fellow humans. With a God so forgiving, I should be prepared to give myself to Him and talk to him because with Him, my shame is cast away. What a lesson… I should be full of hope and faith. Secondly, I learnt to not comprehend certain things with human morals. When he asked me to give him water, I went straight to the rules. Being the person I was deemed to be, I wanted to play it safe and avoid any trouble. I realised then that I have been drinking too much from water that is earthly, water that would get me even more thirstier. Water that would make me question His asking me for such a simple thing like water. I should rather be drinking water that would give me eternal life. I should try to get that water by doing good things in life, not discriminating and following the word. That\’s what will give me the water that gives eternal life. Eternal life in Heaven. I won\’t be thirsty ever again because doing good comes with self-satisfaction. I totally get it now. I wish I knew his name though but I have a feeling I would soon find out. Now, I must go and share this lesson with other people so my cup can be filled…and tell of the freedom I gained in truth… Love, the woman at the well♡♡ If the woman at the well of Samaria kept a diary, and she had to recount Her encounter with Jesus, this is how it would have read. However, that woman at well, represents a fraction of us, women today. Ostracised from society by our faults, sins and shortcomings. Set apart for all the wrong reasons. Having little to no confidence in ourselves. Going to

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The Folly of Self love

Leave a Comment / Self-love. /

The Folly of Self Love The folly of self love is basically refusing to grow, learn, inspire and change. The world will tell you that if people leave your life, let them go! They are the problem, not you. Some will also say they didn’t deserve to be a part of my life, good riddance to bad rubbish. Worse off, is those who say “I am me, deal with who I am or walk away”. There are two sides to this coin. Truth being told, not everyone has to be a part of your life, which is the first side of this coin. Your life is like a tree. There are the roots, the branches, and the leaves. The leaves in your life are the very temporary people. Those people are not meant to be stuck with you forever. Usually these are the persons who teach you a few lessons about life, relationship and friendship. Mind you, a tree can have millions of leaves, but they’re still leaves. They’re there to take from the tree, and give shade to the tree, thus block your shine. The branches, are more cunning than the leaves. The branches appear to give some form and stamina to the tree and leaves. It has more direct contact to the tree. However, when a mighty wind blows, or a storm hits the tree, these branches fall off. So will the people who are branches in your life. They give you temporary support and form. It feels as though they’re unimaginably connected to you in all facets of your life; but hold on. When life’s pressures hit you, and the storms of life come at you, they fall off and leave, and all you have left are the roots! THE ROOTS, not visible through the humus filled soiled, but are ever present. Akans have a proverb, that even a stump of tree has hope of growing into a mighty tree again one day, because of the presence of the roots. The roots are the “realest” people there is. If you have just a few of them in your life, keep them. Because even when your life falls apart, they’ve got nowhere going. They are not fair-weather friends like the branches, neither are they shady friends like the leaves. The second part of the coin is if no one wants to be a part of your life, you’re the problem. Be it as it may, the leaves, branches and roots come together to form a tree. A tree without roots cannot have branches and consequently leaves. A tree without leaves is deemed to be a dead tree. I guess all I am saying is, regardless of who they are and what part they play in your life, you need one or two people around. If no one, not even “leaves” want to be in your life, my dear, you’re the problem. I believe one thing in life, that people are drawn to people of their kind. I beg your pardon, even insane people on the streets identify and roll with one another. No matter who you are, there are people you should be able to identify yourself with. The folly of self love is for those who feel they’re it all. People who always blame others when their friendship or relationship doesn’t work. It takes two to tango. The basis of the folly of self love is selfishness. The “me, myself and I”. The I am perfect clause. The no need to change who I am for anyone. From where I sit, I have identified three items and misconceptions about self love which results in folly. • I CAN’T AND WON’T CHANGE; THIS IS WHO I AM: It is indeed true, that God intentionally and deliberately made you who you are. You are unique indeed. But, when you don’t accept that as human, you’re not flawless, and as such you must make the conscious effort to be the better and original you that you are then there’s trouble. • IF THEY LOVE ME, THEY’LL TAKE ME AS I AM: This is the most pathetic lie you could ever tell yourself. Whatever improvement, growth and change you go through its for yourself first, before society. No one has to deal with a piece of work. No one loves a liability. • THEY DON’T DESERVE ME: If you’ve ever said this to yourself, I really hope you sat to think about it well. As I mentioned earlier on, you don’t need to keep everyone around you. The bitter truth is there’s always some better deserving than you. No matter who you are, there’s someone, somewhere, this minute, better than you in every sense of the word. All am saying is be wise enough to accept it when something is your fault. It’s difficult I know. Shifting blame always seems like the pleasurable route out, but until when will u keep deceiving yourself, that no one deserves you?

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Hannah

3 Comments / Bible Character Study /

Hannah. Many many many years ago a man lived. He had two wives. The wife whom he dearly loved was barren. The other bore him a lot of children that his heart was at peace; but for a while. The woman who bore him children mocked the one whom he loved, but was barren. The woman whom he loved wept and prayed. Her tears were her three square meals for a day. And it was, that every year, this man together with his half happy half sad family will visit the Lord at Shiloh to pray, offer sacrifices and commune with the Lord and one another. And it so happened, that on this particular journey to Shiloh, something extraordinary happened. There was a shift in the woman who he loved’s prayer life. She knelt down at the altar and prayed her womb out. She prayed for long hours nonstop – a prayer marathon. She prayed till she could utter no words. She prayed till her ribs felt like they were cracking out of dryness. She prayed until she was drunk in prayer! She asked God one thing, a son, whom she “covenanted” to give back to God when he was of age. Fast forward to the year after, the woman drunk in prayer had a son. She could not attend the annual meeting at Shiloh because she wanted to wean the son she bore so she could honour her part of the covenant as God had obviously honoured his part. Spoiler alert, the woman is Hannah, who bore Samuel, one of the greatest prophets in Israel. The one who anointed David King over Israel( oh my don’t get me started on Samuel). Hannah’s rival, Penninah mocked her. The kind of mockery that would make Hannah stay in her room all day, to avoid Penninah. The mockery that would force Hannah to starve herself all day, and sneak out at night to get some bread to munch on and wash it down with a bottle of asaana or sobolo. But when Hannah’s glory came, and she honoured her covenant, her son’s legacy has lived on till date. Not even one of Penninah’s children had their names mentioned in the Bible. Well I haven’t seen it yet, if you have, kindly let me in on it. Lessons. 1. Penninahs are needed in our lives: Hannah must have been throwing a pity party for herself already before Penninah came on the scene. But here’s the part Penninah played, her mockery made Hannah sit up, take matters into her hands and literally have a banter with God. After which she received her results. Penninahs (I actually love the name though) are the persons in our life who criticise our every move. In fact, your very existence, to them is an error. Penninah is that person who makes fun of your unfortunate situation. Penninah I that person who tells you God has forsaken you and He doesn’t love you. Penninah is the person who never wishes you well, but their lives look as though it perfect and glorious. Penninah is the reason all that glitters is not gold. But a Penninah is also the reason God will perform His word. A Penninah is the reason you should take the bull by the horn and deal with the core of your problems. That Penninah is the reason God will give you the Gold, when it looks like you have nothing put stones in your hand. 2. Ask God Until He Says Something Tangible – What prayer can’t do, more prayer can do. What more prayer can’t do, much more prayer will do! Hannah prayed until she had heaven’s attention and submitted her petition. Hannah travailed in prayer, and she brought forth. She literally touched the hem of God’s garment like the woman with the issue of blood 3. Honour God when He Honours you. Don’t try playing smart. Do what you said you’d do and do it well. Hannah didn’t play wayo! She did what she said she would, gave the son back to God. Theologians actually believe that she had other sons after Samuel; because she honoured her word. God is not a man that He would lie, nor the son of man to change His mind. Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman Ps: Don\’t forget to let me know you passed by ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

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Interview-Excellencial.

6 Comments / Interviews, Uncategorised /

Miss Excellencial Betty Boatemaa With the spate of unemployment, especially for young university graduates in our country, it takes bravery, innovation and positivity to decide to be an entrepreneur. Finding an opportunity in what seems to be a competitive world is worth celebrating. Today, our guest,  a twenty-four-year-old graduate of KNUST decision against all odds to stand a business; a unique and pretty interesting one at that. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Excellencial Betty Boatemaa Nelia: Hi Betty, kindly  tell us about yourself and your business most especially. Betty: Having started Excel Sobolo while at the University, I gained experience in marketing as the General Manager. I had the opportunity to improve my communication skills, interpersonal skills and decision making skills. Juggling academic work and business at school produced effective time management skills in me. The joy of starting an initiative and working towards its success continued after University. Currently I am the Founder of Kubenut. Kubenut is a partnership type of business which is responsible for production of packaged tender coconut water and the coconut pulp. Kubenut aims to deliver nutritious, thirst quenching, refreshing, energizing and high quality tender coconut water and its pulp to its customers. Kubenut places a great deal is on safety, hygienic, healthy and attractive packaging. Customer satisfaction is our hallmark. It is a part time work at the moment and wish to expand it in future. I have a goal of reading International Business Management as my second degree programme to boost my business development and management skills. In future, I want to be Business Developer and Marketing Manager for a global brand company in the industry of food and beverages. Nelia: Goals! You will surely achieve what you\’ve set out to achieve. How growing up like for you? Betty:  Growing up having a teacher as a mother, you got to learn hard and excel. My childhood was more about books. So I guess my childhood was pretty normal then. Nelia: What motivates you in life. Betty: Successful stories of people who have made it in life. People who have made in against all of life’s circumstances. I feel like I have no excuse to fail at all. Nelia: Any particular unfortunate experiences that you’ve encountered in life? (Any story you can share that will inspire and encourage someone reading it.) Betty: I didn’t grow up to see a male figure in my house, my mother has played both roles and she is a fighter. She is now on pension but was a Diploma Teacher. By grace, she has seen all of us through the university. I am the last born. It hasn’t been easy financially, but God has been good. She is my number one role model. Nelia:I\’m sorry about not having a male figure in your life. But all things work together for our good. How did you rise above it? Betty: The excellence mindset. Nelia: The excellence spirit indeed. I\’m pretty convinced this is what incited you to start your own business right after leaving school. As a startup entrepreneur, what influenced your decision to start KUBENUT? Betty: The fact that any fruit can be taken in the office except coconut because of the nature of the fruit. So then I figured if it cold be packaged neatly and made convenient, people, especially  those in the corporate sector will patronise it. Nelia: Exactly. Find a problem in society, find a way to fix it. People will pay for it.  Howbeit I suppose it hasn\’t been a smooth ride. What are some of the risks you had to take as a startup? What has kept you going? Betty: Financial risks and what keeps me going is knowing that a customer is satisfied with your product and services. It gives you some unexplainable joy. Nelia: Where do you envision KUBENUT to be in the next 5 years? Betty: In 5 years’ time, I see Kubenut obtain Food and Drugs Authorization number, have had more hands on board and have captured the whole of Greater Accra and another region. Nelia: How would you define success? Betty: Having positive influence and impact on your society. Nelia: Growing up, who’s been your mentor and why? Betty: Joyce Meyer. She had fought the good fight of faith and she is where she is now. Nelia: If you were a book, what would be your title and why? Betty: How Grace Works. Because my life is grace influenced. Nelia:  We all are indeed grace bound! If you were a colour, which one would you be and why? Betty: Red, signifying the blood of Jesus, so precious to me. Nelia: THE BLOOD! What does it mean to be a Phenomenal Woman for you? Betty: A Phenomenal Woman is a woman who is influencing her society positive and having impact on them. Nelia: Finally, an advice to your fellow sisters out there. Betty: Seeth thou a man diligent in his ways, he shall stand before kings. Be diligent in what you do, you will be at the top. Nelia: See you at the top darling. Thank you! This interview was made possible by Arbie Marfoa Marfo, Team Member of the Phenomenal Woman Blog and a great friend of Miss Betty. Don\’t forget to let me know you passed by! Love, Nelia

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Looking Witihin

20 Comments / Self-love. /

Looking Within-Self-Love as a Christian   At the beginning of the series, I mentioned the fact that Self-love is a phenomenon that has been foreign in the body of Christ for a long time. It’s rather sad, that as children of the light and of the kingdom, we lose guard of what we have. The world takes it from us, then we attempt to copy it back from the world, when we have the original prototype. The question then is, as a Christian young woman and a budding phenomenal woman, what does self love mean to you? Ziona takes us through the answer. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20) This scripture is like a master key that opens many doors only if you would use it. Let us take Galatians 2:20 as it is; thus as believers we are dead (\”I no longer live\”) and there is a major takeover of our bodies by Christ . Now, we are alive but this time around In Christ and this is by Faith. So for anyone to get to you or for you to even find yourself, you must go through Christ! Remember that Christ in you is the hope of Glory and to attain that glory includes knowing Christ first, then knowing your position in Him. To love Christ is to know Him more than just the Christmas story of Him born in a manger. To love Christ is to know Him more. Learn about Him from His Word(the Bible) and even more from the Holy Spirit (John 14:26). When you begin to love Christ in you, there are things you begin to do, attitudes you begin to exhibit, your very demeanor changed. In fact you begin to bear good fruits (physical changes or noticeable characteristics of a Christian). Thereafter would you be conscious of who you are in Christ.(your royalty, the power and authority you command, your position, benefits and many more) Take note of this, this is not applicable to the unbeliever because he/she does not have Christ in him or her. This is why we must be careful not to rush to follow trends of \”self love\” the way an unbeliever would. If you do so, you\’ll end up in the wrong track. Your boast must be in the Lord. (Psalm 34:2) Do not be deceived, this does not mean that when you love Christ in you, you become timid, insecure, shabby clothing, not taking the spotlight or leadership positions. If you do these things you rather make the blood of Jesus of no effect! Mercy. You loving Christ every moment of each day opens the eyes of your heart to see the glory of the Lord risen upon you. (Isaiah 60:1-2) You will begin to see an inner beauty which radiates from the inside outwardly. As that happens, you begin to feel more confident wherever you go because you acknowledge there is more to you. (Joshua 1:9) You neither dress indecently nor shabbily to gain a false sense of love, confidence and attention . You dress like a royal, decent but still good looking. Your crown radiates the glory of Heaven here on earth. Ever seen a queen wearing sensually provocative clothes? No I don\’t think so. Yet you call yourself a \”slay Queen\”. What on earth are you slaying? The last time I checked,  Queens don\’t slay, (that is destroy), Queens build. You want to be called a queen? Work for it.  Your speech is not uncouth or filled with fear but instead it is filled with wisdom and authority (1 Peter 2:9) You do not allow yourself to be filled with gloomy and depressed thoughts because you know you have the mind of Christ and all things shall turn around for your good. For He that is in you is greater than he that is in the world. You would never realize this if you do not look within and see Christ. Trust me on this; when you put a conscious effort to do this, you will see the manifestation of a new creation and nothing will stop you! P. S- For the single ladies and even those already hooked up listen, the gentleman MUST reach into Christ to get to you. If he found you on the road to Christ, you had better make an informed decision. \”And do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers \”.There are some unbelieving believers out there (but that is a story for another day) so dear Phenomenal woman do WATCH AND PRAY. Beautifully written by Ziona Neequaye( Team Member, THE PHENOMENAL WOMAN ) Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman  I\’d love to know you read this piece, kindly drop your comments below. 

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