Search Results for “feed” – Being Phenomenal

Before you discard “New Year’s Resolution”, read this… pt2

Nelia Gyemfi — Mon, 15 Jan 2024 03:00:36 +0000

Third week of the year 2024 it is! How is it going friends? Settling into the year well?

In our previous post, we explored what could be some barriers preventing you from being successful in your crushing your goals. It would be unfair to speak about one side without the other, that is an imbalance. In this piece, we will unpack a few tools and tactics to help us.

Let’s dig right in…

Pray, no like for real pray: God is not a created being, He is the Creator. You and me, and everything else, created by God (Gen. 1 v26) or by man. Our status as created beings put us at a natural disadvantage of lacking all knowledge. We cannot, and will never, know more than the creator concerning the created being and things. I can never know more about a car than the engineer who designed and built it.

Same logic applies with God; we know somethings, sometimes, but we will not know all things at all times.

Imagine this, you purchase a vehicle, and the only way you drive the vehicle without worrying is that you pay for a monthly insurance. In that case, you know that should any wear, accidents or issues come up, you call up your insurance company and all is taken care of. And the thing with your car insurance is sometimes you got to hustle them and prove why you deserve the insurance claim. But the logic here that I want to highlight is that paying for insurance on your vehicle gives you a certain level of peace. Knowing that when it is needed, you will have it.

Here is the thing about praying, it is our only fail-proof insurance in this walk of life. I could list endless Bible verses about why you need to pray because it is a commandment, or it is the only way to communicate with God. I could also tell you that Jesus Christ, in man form prayed consistently, and all of that would be the truth. Today, I want you to imagine your life without an insurance policy. Anything can and will happen to you. Your plans don’t have the surety of succeeding. You can’t be sure that the decision you made, in 20 years from today will be beneficial.

And even with the wisdom and foresight of experience and growth, our decisions/plans/life are not all fail-proof, or at least that’s what I think. Knowing what decisions/plans to make, its connection to our blessings, benefit or consequences require a high-level security clearance and insurance that can only be in God. Only God knows it all, because He exists in and of Himself, and only in Him can we insure our decisions against loss.

So when you pray concerning a goal, pray that it is insured and fail-proof in Christ Jesus!

Measure your progress: “In God we trust; all others must bring data.” —W. Edwards Deming.

Imagine you are at a game, let’s say a soccer game and after 90 minutes of game play, and maybe an extra 5 minutes of injury time, there are no scores. Not even a 0-0. The scoreboard just says game over. No scores or nothing. Can you tell how absurd that is? Keeping scores in a game is not only about who won/lost, but it provides an accurate performance report.

Unfortunately, most of us, myself included go through our lives as though we went to game that didn’t keep scores. We actively avoid measuring our progress for fear of confronting the bitter truth that we may not be doing as good as we are, or the fear that we are doing better than we imagined, therefore inviting us to do more.

Scorekeeping serves as a practical reality check, offering insights and performance feedback. Efficient measurement eliminates emotional bias from the evaluation process, providing an accurate portrayal of your performance. The focus is solely on outcomes, disregarding effort or intentions.

It’s common to rationalize subpar results occasionally, but effective scorekeeping compels us to confront the reality of our situation, even when discomfort arises. Though this confrontation may be challenging, doing so promptly allows us to shift our actions toward achieving more favorable results. Effective measurement demands our attention, urging immediate responses and enhancing the likelihood of future success.

Effective time management: Time is the one non-renewable resource we have, unfortunately it is the one resource we treat as if we can make more of. The next time you are tempted to procrastinate, remember that you cannot reproduce time. I say this not to cause panic, but to bring to your attention or remembrance, that if you do not control your time, you cannot control your results.

Being available to everyone and for everything is an indication that external people and things impact your time more than you take charge. Truth is to hit those goals like a bullseye, time must be dedicated to them. It is a non-negotiable. You want to scale the business, you got to put time in. You want to lose the weight, put time in. You need to pass those exams, time. Show one thing you need to accomplish which doesn’t involve time….. I am waiting. Right none, I thought as much.

One practical way to ensure you have a grasp of your time is the use of time blocks. Figure out your best working time. Are you an early bird or night owl? Block out about 2-3 hours of those peek performance hours and get your time in for your goals.

This is in no way an exhaustive list, however I believe it is the best way to get going on those goals. It is my hope and prayer that a year from now, we would check those goals off our list, and be ready to dive into a fresh set of goals!!

Wishing you all the best of 2024!!!

Love and hugs,

Nelia

Leave us a comment… we would love to know what you think!

Healed In Victory (Interview with KoHsin Illingworth)

Nelia Gyemfi — Sat, 25 Feb 2023 13:49:44 +0000

For many, the acronym HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) may be a death sentence, and rightly so. But for KoHsin Illingworth, it has taken a new meaning, which will unfold as you continue to walk with us in this story.

Kohsin tell us about your childhood. How was it like growing up?

I grew up in a financially stable home, alongside my brother. As kids we were competitive. As every young girl, I had my ambitions, plans and dreams for her future. My parents were bankers who paid keen attention to the physical, academic, and financial pieces of my life. However as with most parents, that was at the cost of being emotionally available for their daughter. Interesting, I found Jesus on my own even though I was born into a Buddhist home. I got baptized, which was a public confession of my faith. I had my insecurities growing up. These insecurities and the vacuum left by the emotional and mental neglect of my parents fueled her insecurities and motivated me to seek solace elsewhere.

When did you relocate to the UK and for what?

After my undergraduate degree in Taiwan, I eventually relocated from the Uk to pursue a Master’s in commerce at the

How was life in the UK for you as a newcomer?

I thought I had found this new level of freedom. I would be hopping from party to party, engaging in one-night stands etc. I was at a party one night where I was raped. I was drunk but I still remember that experience and how my body was violated that night. A few years later, I met and married my lovely husband. Everything was going on well, for a young couple. Until I started falling ill and the doctors couldn’t diagnose what was wrong with my body. I was committed even to the mental institutions because she was diagnosed with clinical depression and maniac episodes. One fateful night, I lost consciousness, collapsed, and had to be transported to the hospital in an ambulance. The doctors at the point, at their wits end decided to test for HIV/AIDS. The tests came out positive. The Doctors mentioned this was contracted about 6 or 7 years ago, and had develop into a full-blown AIDS, which was gradually killing me.

At this point Kohsin, finding out that you have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, from rape, if you could go back in time to speak to your younger self then, what would you tell her?

I would say to her be careful about your association. If you find yourself in the wrong crowd, it is easier to land in darkness. Be wise, especially as a woman. Having one-night stands wasn’t wise of me. Don’t be careless and take care of yourself.

What was your initial reaction after being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS?

Prior to the diagnosis, I did not have any HIV/AIDS awareness but only knew the diagnosis was fatal. Especially when the nurses would constantly remind me “Mrs. Illingworth, we are doing our possible best to save your life.” I also observed my husband howling and crying, and that was also an indication of how bad it was. I would eventually contemplate suicide by overdosing on her medication.

How did this impact your marriage and family?

It impacted my husband a lot. He had a front row seat to my illness. He was also eventually diagnosed with HIV. Imagine a young couple who married in their early 30’s and a year later, I am dying with Aids and my husband is diagnosed with HIV. He may have been in a better situation than me, but it was still bad. My husband would still visit me in the hospital daily even though he was going through his own trials at the time.

Let’s talk about the healing process. We have talked so much about the painful past and how you came to realize your diagnosis let’s get into the good stuff.

When I was in the hospital even though I was physically weak I found some inner strength and I believe it was the power of God that came over me. I started praying just in the little way that I could. Prior to being diagnosed or even prior to marrying my husband I had completely left the place of fellowship with God. It wasn’t until one day when I had left the hospital, I heard God’s voice clearly speak to me saying that KoHsin am waiting for you to come home. I looked around trying to see if there was anyone next to me who had spoken those words to me but there was no one around me. I was alone and I heard the voice clearly speak to me that I’m waiting for you to come home.

After I heard that that voice I jumped into a taxi, and I went straight to a Baptist Church. Once I got into the church, I narrated my whole experience to the people, and they were kind and loving enough to welcome me into fellowship into their community and just show me the love of God. And this is how my healing process began because I went back to my father’s house and the warmth, the love, the embrace, that I experienced from the people but most importantly from God was word started my healing journey.

I also had to learn to forgive myself for the mistakes of my past. I had to forgive myself because I had constantly blamed myself thinking that if I hadn’t attended that party that evening I would not have been raped and I would not have contracted the HIV/AIDS. But I came to the place where I knew that to accept God’s forgiveness for me, I had to forgive the man that raped me, I had to forgive myself and I had to accept the forgiveness that I know was in God.

Additionally, I also sought counselling with the Christian Counsellors and that really helped put my marriage with my wonderful husband back on track.

At what point did you find out that you were in the process of getting physically healed from HIV/AIDS?

I was put on HIV antiretroviral medication. These medications were very effective to the extent that my HIV virus count dropped within a very short period from 25,000 to 0. While I believe in the efficiency of the medication, I also believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ and while I was even on medication, I would constantly pray asking God for my HIV virus counts to reduce drastically. It came to me as no shock when I found out after some months of being on the HIV medication that my stats had moved from thousands to zero, which is non detectable.

Let’s talk about the lives this story has touched. Then we’ll talk a bit about your ministry because I know that it was through this healing that you started your ministry healed in victory so we can also talk about that a bit.

I started having courage as I continued to pray to God praying to put something in me. I remember I went on a mission trip and that’s when I was told during coaching that Kohsin, you have a lot of emotional baggage, but you need to pray to God’s will to be done.

I continued to seek the face of God, even to allow me to conceive a baby. During Christmas at 2015, I gave birth to my daughter, Hannah. It was a difficult pregnancy as I was still HIV positive. I was under specialist care. I gave birth to a miracle child, Hannah, who was born without any trace of HIV in her body. That was the second miracle I experienced in this period of my life.

So, at this point, I knew I had to open and share my testimony with the world. At every given opportunity, every platform, every stage. God opened the door for me to go to go back to Taiwan, my home country where I was the first Taiwanese woman to go on live TV to share my story, from HIV to Christ. It was broadcast on Taiwan’s Christian channel, and it blessed so many lives. I received positive feedback and then that’s when I realized God is using my testimony to break the shame and stigma around HIV/AIDS.

The Taiwanese TV station was the first step to use to attend that healed in victory ministry is that correct

Yes, when I started to share my testimony the first one was broadcast from Taiwanese gospel channel and then from that I shared in Thailand. I also shared on so many channels, including BBC Radio. The platforms and opportunities to share are innumerable. Every opportunity I am presented with, I share to the end that many will believe in the healing power of God. To the world, HIV is a terminal disease with stigma, but in God, HIV means Healed in Victory.

I’m not ashamed to tell people that I was HIV. It took like 10 years through the restoration process to get healed. As such, we need to encourage people not to give up in believing that God can still heal.

Even as I hear you talk about healed in victory and you talking about your journey from HIV and everything, I believe that God did not only heal you from the physical debilitating effects of HIV. I feel like there was a real mental healing as well. Someone might think that I don’t have HIV, so this is not for me, or I don’t have a physical illness, so I don’t need God. But I believe that your story is such a wholesome healing experience. You got healed from many things like insecurity, mental illness and the trauma of rape.

Tell us about your book, Real Mums, Real Jesus.

As a new mother, and with my HIV status, I couldn’t breastfeed my daughter Hannah. Additionally, having her through caesarean session made me feel alienated to her. I didn’t have the instant maternal bond I thought I would have. Other struggles reared their head, and as I began to speak with other mothers, they related with my struggle. So, the book is a collection of experiences, written for mothers by mothers, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. I said to God I said all those real moms’ stories if I didn’t put “Real Jesus” on the front it will probably reach to more audience because I want to use this book to help myself and help women and moms around the world. That was my initial initiative and my vision, but God really said to be put the real Jesus on the front cover and then put the word of God alongside them.

This book has been translated in Urdu for our community in Pakistan and, Swahili for our folks in Kenya. Pakistan, India, and Taiwan. We continue to receive tremendous testimonies on the book.

You can purchase a copy of the book by clicking this link.

Thanks for reading. Let Kohsin know how her story has inspired and ignited hope in you by leaving a comment.

BYS III. Work on yourself, not your selfie!

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 20 Nov 2016 20:04:27 +0000

Soo two weeks ago we came to a consensus, and an understanding, that we cannot add all those pretty, sensational and breathtaking filters and edits to our real life. That is a fantasy and that would be to also live a lie. I made mention of a part where sometimes in life, these embellishments are necessary additives on our way to becoming who we truly are. Yes but here’s the thing, the filters, edits and effects ( I prefer to call them embellishments ) can only and will only be evident on the outside of ourselves when and only when they are imbibed in our inner man.
Okay let me break it down. Do we all remember the grade school ICT slang GIGO? Garbage In Garbage Out!! You feed the computer rubbish raw data, you get no less as a processed information.
Oh la la! Micaela said “Distinctiveness as an individual is what makes you great”. But guess what sweethearts, distinctiveness is a default setting accessible to all; which will on the contrary, not be activated if we decide not to harness it and put it to a commendable use.
I’m pretty sure it’s very well understood by us all that we were;

Each created in the image of God, and He’s the only person to look to if you want to find yourself.
Regardless of the fact that we were all, created in the image and likeness of God, we are individually distinct and unique from one another.

However, there are some mechanisms and protocols of life that make us better ourselves as we are. Remember we said not to be the photocopy of another person, but rather to be the original, unadulterated, unique copy of you. And in doing that, you can decide to either be the “black and white copy or the coloured copy”.
Now, the black and white copy kind of people are those that:

Accept who they are, obviously with no struggle at all.
They are also the kind of persons who in accepting who they really are, do not do much about their situations, in short, they do not seek to better themselves in any way.
They are almost always content with mediocrity.

But this is not the kind of copies we seek to be. We seek to be the most colourful, most productive, most attractive, and the best copy of ourselves. The coloured copy kind of persons also;

Accept who they are, with no struggle as well, but here’s the difference, they seek to be the best kind of them. They know that I can either be a black and white me or a coloured me; and they choose the latter.
In accepting that they want to be the coloured version of themselves, do not sit idle, looking pretty all day and night, in season and out of season.They put effort in themselves, they strive to be who they want to be. They build themselves up in every kind of way possible. ( Now this is where the black and white copy people get worried, jealous and envious. But I went to the same high school with her, why was she well composed than I? Or I have the same qualifications as her, why was she accepted at the interview not I? Sister, because she did some more work to be the coloured copy. Nothing prevents you from doing same.)
This kind of persons have nothing in common with mediocre perceptions or ways of doing things.

Which one would you rather be, it’s your cup of tea served to you, whether you drink it hot, or cold, or better still whether you spill it or decide to drink it and savor every moment, still entirely up to you.
But I would rather you decide today, to not just be the you and accept how things are. Be the you that strives for the greater and better part of you.
As a teenager, some few years back, I read an article; probably a myth about how the human mind has a very great capacity, such that even the very renowned scientists and academia used very very very minute part of their mind and brain. As a young girl, I asked myself, what then am I using this for? If the human brain is that powerful, then I can’t even fathom and imagine what I can do and become. I bet you some teenagers my age, were also privy to this information, but probably just said really so Albert Einstein used just about 11% of his brain? Oh it’s a lie.
But even if it is a lie and a well known founded myth that humans do not use up to 20% of their brain in their entire lifetime, I suppose it’s just for humans to acknowledge that whatever they put their minds and efforts to, can be greatly achieved because you haven’t harnessed a greater portion of your brain.

A wise friend once told me in a conversation we were having about fulfilling purpose and living a life of vision, and he said ” Nelia, some people die full, few others die half empty, and very little die empty and I will not leave this side of eternity until am empty”. I was lost in thoughts. I pretended to have made some sense out of what he said. But then I eventually asked, what do you mean? He said ” those who die full are those that fulfilled nothing with regards to their purpose. Everything God gave them is buried with them. Those who die half-empty did some work with regards to purpose and it’s fulfillment. Those that die empty, leave everything here, having attained the fulfillment of their purpose and vision”.

As Samuella rightly puts it, we have a choice. Always and always. On that note, in our next post on this series, we shall discuss how we can be the coloured versions of us.
Catch you all next week as we continue this talk…
In the mean time, thanks for reading but be a darling by sharing and also leave a comment ?.
Lots of love♡♡♡
Nelia.

HI THERE, I'M MICAELA!

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 28 Aug 2016 16:58:26 +0000

Micaela Opoku -Mensah is a lovely young intelligent Christian Ghanaian lady based in the UK. She studied Politics and International Relations, a field dominated predominantly by men at the Oxford Brookes University. She has currently gained admission to the University of Edinburgh to read Msc Africa and International Development. She’s a strong Pan-Africanist, loves food like myself oh and she enjoys cooking the food though. I could write a whole month’s post on this phenomenal young enthusiastic lady but I will leave her to do the talking now.

Ladies (and the gentlemen who have found their way here) meet Micaela!
Me: Hiii Micaela. Hope you are good and your day has been splendid.
Mic: Hello Nelia. My day has been been good. A few grocery shopping here and there. Trust yours was good too.
Me: oh yes it was. So tell us dear, who is Micaela?
Mic: Wow! That’s a pretty good one. Well I’m still figuring myself out…I keep learning about me almost every step of the way but that notwithstanding Micaela is a strong independent black woman, very friendly and the outgoing type but also shy at the same time.
Me: Outgoing and shy? How does that play out Miss independent?
Mic: Hahaha well yuh. I’m more like the conversation starter and I hate awkward silent moments so I will rather keep my calm than to start something awkward.
Me: Okay. Cool. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?
Mic: Well I intend to go back to Australia and to other countries, do a little more work with international NGO’S focusing on African and International Development and make documentaries about African Politics at some point in time when I’m back home.
Me: Very insightful. To you Micaela, what is the point of womanhood?
Mic: Hmmmph! Women are the main focal point of society. I say this without intending any disrespect whatsoever. But there are so much that we do and can do and the beauty of it is that when we put our minds to it, it flourishes and blossoms like the daffodil flower in spring.

Me: Like the daffodil flower. Having said that, women, and I will say African women are somewhat scared of success and pursing very big ambitions. We settle for the very obvious and this is a big issue because we underutilise our potentials to suit what society deems fit. Why do you think there’s this problem and how do we address it?
Mic: Nelia you’ve mentioned the very core of the problem already. SOCIETY. The main drawback is because of what society says we can and cannot do simply because of our gender. I agree, gender makes a lot of difference, especially biologically, but hey, it doesn’t in anyway downplay the abilities and capacities of the woman. I mean it’s not breaking news that this world is regarded patriarchal. In my own personal experience reading Politics and International Relations, being one of the very few females to take up that course, had to endure a lot of distasteful and unpleasant remarks from male coursemates just because why will a woman want to be a Politician? If we will just have an open mind about what the woman can and cannot do, should and should not do, I think this world will be a better place for us all. Let’s be mindful of what we tell our girls, what we feed their minds with.
Me: Ever wished you were born a man?
Mic : Hahaha well yes. Sometimes what is expected of you as woman just makes you go like oh my why am I a woman again? Lol but having said that I am proud I am a Woman, and a Phenomenal woman at that.
Me: Haha a phenomenal woman she says. Well then tell us, in your opinion who is a phenomenal woman?
Mic : oh that’s easy. Me. Lol just kidding. A phenomenal woman, mmm there’s a lot in there, but she’s a woman who knows who she is and is proud to be what she is no matter how meagre society makes it appear to be. The Phenomenal Woman is definitely extraordinary. Doesn’t do what society will anticipate.
Me: Finally Micaela, if you had the opportunity to just change one perception about being a woman, what would it be?
Mic: oh that the woman cannot be angry or mad or pissed. Any time a woman is frustrated or down or sad oh it’s that time of the month. Okay so how about the teenagers and adolescents who are not on thier periods yet? What makes them sad or angry? That perception and stereotype really bothers me. Anything could affect a woman’s mood. Not just her periods!
Me: hahahah that was a funny truth right there. Well thank you so much Micaela. We can’t wait to have more of you.
Mic: Thank you Nelia. I’m very pleased to have done this too.

I enjoyed every bit of this conversation and I learned a lot as well. I know you did too. Well guess what, Micaela and myself will be collaborating to bring you the very last part of #the power of Influence. I know it’s going to be great. I can’t wait.
Well before I take leave of you finally this week, please do find time and read the article in the link below?.
https://face2faceafrica.com/article/meet-five-worlds-powerful-african-women/5

Wear your crown this week, like the Phenomenal Woman you are.
Love, Nelia.