PURPOSE – Being Phenomenal

Before you discard “New Year’s Resolution”, read this… pt2

Nelia Gyemfi — Mon, 15 Jan 2024 03:00:36 +0000

Third week of the year 2024 it is! How is it going friends? Settling into the year well?

In our previous post, we explored what could be some barriers preventing you from being successful in your crushing your goals. It would be unfair to speak about one side without the other, that is an imbalance. In this piece, we will unpack a few tools and tactics to help us.

Let’s dig right in…

Pray, no like for real pray: God is not a created being, He is the Creator. You and me, and everything else, created by God (Gen. 1 v26) or by man. Our status as created beings put us at a natural disadvantage of lacking all knowledge. We cannot, and will never, know more than the creator concerning the created being and things. I can never know more about a car than the engineer who designed and built it.

Same logic applies with God; we know somethings, sometimes, but we will not know all things at all times.

Imagine this, you purchase a vehicle, and the only way you drive the vehicle without worrying is that you pay for a monthly insurance. In that case, you know that should any wear, accidents or issues come up, you call up your insurance company and all is taken care of. And the thing with your car insurance is sometimes you got to hustle them and prove why you deserve the insurance claim. But the logic here that I want to highlight is that paying for insurance on your vehicle gives you a certain level of peace. Knowing that when it is needed, you will have it.

Here is the thing about praying, it is our only fail-proof insurance in this walk of life. I could list endless Bible verses about why you need to pray because it is a commandment, or it is the only way to communicate with God. I could also tell you that Jesus Christ, in man form prayed consistently, and all of that would be the truth. Today, I want you to imagine your life without an insurance policy. Anything can and will happen to you. Your plans don’t have the surety of succeeding. You can’t be sure that the decision you made, in 20 years from today will be beneficial.

And even with the wisdom and foresight of experience and growth, our decisions/plans/life are not all fail-proof, or at least that’s what I think. Knowing what decisions/plans to make, its connection to our blessings, benefit or consequences require a high-level security clearance and insurance that can only be in God. Only God knows it all, because He exists in and of Himself, and only in Him can we insure our decisions against loss.

So when you pray concerning a goal, pray that it is insured and fail-proof in Christ Jesus!

Measure your progress: “In God we trust; all others must bring data.” —W. Edwards Deming.

Imagine you are at a game, let’s say a soccer game and after 90 minutes of game play, and maybe an extra 5 minutes of injury time, there are no scores. Not even a 0-0. The scoreboard just says game over. No scores or nothing. Can you tell how absurd that is? Keeping scores in a game is not only about who won/lost, but it provides an accurate performance report.

Unfortunately, most of us, myself included go through our lives as though we went to game that didn’t keep scores. We actively avoid measuring our progress for fear of confronting the bitter truth that we may not be doing as good as we are, or the fear that we are doing better than we imagined, therefore inviting us to do more.

Scorekeeping serves as a practical reality check, offering insights and performance feedback. Efficient measurement eliminates emotional bias from the evaluation process, providing an accurate portrayal of your performance. The focus is solely on outcomes, disregarding effort or intentions.

It’s common to rationalize subpar results occasionally, but effective scorekeeping compels us to confront the reality of our situation, even when discomfort arises. Though this confrontation may be challenging, doing so promptly allows us to shift our actions toward achieving more favorable results. Effective measurement demands our attention, urging immediate responses and enhancing the likelihood of future success.

Effective time management: Time is the one non-renewable resource we have, unfortunately it is the one resource we treat as if we can make more of. The next time you are tempted to procrastinate, remember that you cannot reproduce time. I say this not to cause panic, but to bring to your attention or remembrance, that if you do not control your time, you cannot control your results.

Being available to everyone and for everything is an indication that external people and things impact your time more than you take charge. Truth is to hit those goals like a bullseye, time must be dedicated to them. It is a non-negotiable. You want to scale the business, you got to put time in. You want to lose the weight, put time in. You need to pass those exams, time. Show one thing you need to accomplish which doesn’t involve time….. I am waiting. Right none, I thought as much.

One practical way to ensure you have a grasp of your time is the use of time blocks. Figure out your best working time. Are you an early bird or night owl? Block out about 2-3 hours of those peek performance hours and get your time in for your goals.

This is in no way an exhaustive list, however I believe it is the best way to get going on those goals. It is my hope and prayer that a year from now, we would check those goals off our list, and be ready to dive into a fresh set of goals!!

Wishing you all the best of 2024!!!

Love and hugs,

Nelia

Leave us a comment… we would love to know what you think!

Before you discard “New Year’s Resolution”, read this…

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 07 Jan 2024 04:13:36 +0000

Hey there, friend! First of all, congratulations on making it into 2024! Regardless of whether you sprinted, strolled, or even dragged yourself into the new year, the fact that you’re here is an achievement in itself. Take a moment to appreciate that.

With the start of a new year, many of us embrace the idea of a fresh beginning, a chance to improve ourselves or revive dormant dreams. The concept most commonly associated with this pursuit is the “New Year’s Resolution.” While some argue its ineffectiveness without a commitment to daily actions, it’s essential not to dismiss the value of setting new goals on January 1st. For many, the new year signifies more than a mere change in the calendar; it’s an awakening.

Rather than discarding the idea of resolutions, what might truly benefit us is providing tools and resources to support those who find solace and purpose in setting new goals each year. This shift in mindset could lead to a daily commitment to living our best lives, aligning our present actions with the future we envision.

Before you decide to abandon your New Year’s Resolutions or Goals, consider these common barriers that might be hindering your success:

https://rubiesworth.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/God-Goals-Growing-and-Glowing.mp4

Lack of Emotional/Spiritual Connection to the Resolution: A resolution should stem from a deep conviction to change, grounded in emotional or spiritual fulfillment. Ask yourself: What emotional or spiritual connection do I have to this goal? Connect your resolutions to a compelling vision for your life, bridging the gap between your present and your envisioned future.

For example, let’s say I resolve to revive my blog and post more. This resolution is not merely a fleeting desire; it arises from a profound understanding that writing is an integral part of who I am. The act of putting words on paper brings me a level of emotional and spiritual fulfillment that nothing else can match. To truly embark on the journey of writing more frequently and sharing my gift with the world – my ultimate goal – I recognize the need to establish a deep emotional and spiritual connection between the act of writing and the larger vision I have for my life.

Consider this: What is your vision for your life? Picture yourself at the ripe age of 90, reflecting on the long and blessed life that God has granted you. What legacy do you want to leave behind? What level of fulfillment do you hope to experience? Now, bring your thoughts back to the present moment. The gap between your current reality and your envisioned self at 90 encompasses more than just time; it involves the compelling vision you hold.

This compelling vision should serve as the guiding force for your present-day goals. By aligning your goals with the emotional and spiritual connection to your overarching life vision, you provide wings to your commitment. These wings will allow you to glide seamlessly towards your objectives, driven not only by the desire for change but by a deeper understanding of how these actions contribute to the fulfillment of your life’s purpose.

Victim Mindset: Life has its ups and downs, but blaming external factors for our challenges perpetuates a victim mindset. Take ownership of your actions and outcomes, recognizing that waiting for someone else to fix things won’t lead to a fulfilling life. Life is inherently unpredictable, with some days being fantastic, others average, and some challenging. This imbalance is what maintains life’s equilibrium. However, adopting a victim mindset, blaming others or systems for difficult days, hinders personal growth. A victim mindset seeks external redemption instead of taking ownership of life’s challenges. Individuals in this mindset limit their success by attributing it to external factors. To truly enjoy life, it’s crucial to reject the victim mindset, as waiting for external solutions hampers personal responsibility. As Candace Owens puts it, “Life is tough; get a helmet.” Embrace challenges, but don’t rely on others to provide the solutions – choose not to live in a victim mindset.

Shedding Accountability: In “The 12 Week Year” book, the authors emphasize that accountability goes beyond mere consequences; it involves taking ownership of one’s actions and results. It’s a character trait and a life stance, requiring a willingness to be responsible regardless of the circumstances. While accountability often implies someone else ensuring corrective measures, the authors argue that true accountability is an individual commitment. Relying on others for accountability is not an honest system; instead, having an accountability partner means having someone witness your ownership of actions or inactions. For example, if I commit to writing and publishing a blog weekly, it’s crucial to take ownership of that commitment. Sharing it with a friend is beneficial, but it doesn’t transfer responsibility; the friend becomes a witness to my accountability. Ultimately, expecting others to consistently play the role of holding you accountable is unrealistic, as everyone is busy navigating their own lives, except for those who brought you into this world i.e. parents or are paid to teach you.

Conflicting Intentions: Conflicting intentions arise when our stated goals clash with certain aspects of our desires, making it difficult to achieve milestones. For instance, aspiring to lose 10kg while indulging in any made of flour, eggs, sugar, and butter reveals conflicting intentions. The challenge lies in these hidden intentions that we may be unaware of or avoid confronting. Many times, our written goals don’t align with our true selves, hindering achievement. To bridge this gap, it’s essential to acknowledge and confront these hidden intentions. For example, desiring weight loss while still enjoying food or lacking motivation to exercise indicates a misalignment. Reconciling written goals with these hidden truths is crucial for successful goal attainment. Until this reconciliation occurs, achieving New Year’s resolutions remains elusive.

Over – ambitiousness: Over-ambitiousness in setting goals can be counterproductive. While the notion of dreaming big is often encouraged, it can also be a reason why goals remain unachieved. The optimism that accompanies new year resolutions might wane when the reality of the effort required to make significant changes sets in. Therefore, it’s crucial not to set goals that are overly ambitious. While stretching oneself is commendable, it should be a reasonable stretch within reach. For example, committing to publishing a blog consistently is a worthwhile goal, but aiming to publish three times a week might be excessively ambitious and lead to discouragement. A more realistic and achievable stretch could be committing to publishing once a week – challenging enough to push beyond comfort zones but not so overwhelming as to cause panic and avoidance of the goal.

Next week, we will walk though some success tips to crushing your goals. And no, you do not know what it will be. Keep an open mind!

Leave a comment, and share with a friend! Oh and Happy New Year!

Tamar-Not this Widow II

Nelia Gyemfi — Sat, 26 Nov 2022 12:26:44 +0000

In the following years Tamar heard that her father-in-law Judah was visiting the city in which she lived. Judah’s wife the daughter of shore had died and when the time of morning was passed Judah was going up to the sheep shearers in Timnah with his friend Hirah, the Adullamite. I guess news travels far, so Tamar found out her father-in-law was going to make this trip, down to the city where she lived.

Let’s not forget that at this point Tamar had been waiting in her father’s home as a widow for Judah’s last son to come of age so she could be married to him. I could only imagine the betrayal of trust and love that Tamar felt towards her father-in-law after he had promised that when his third son, Shelah came of age, he was going to give her to him for a husband.

So, she planned very strategically to meet with her father-in-law. This meeting is not one that you would even think of and I for one had judged Tamar based on just how unorthodox and initially I thought self-centred this meeting was. Tamar took off her window’s clothes and disguised herself, with a veil and wrapped herself up in disguise. She then positioned herself at the gateway of Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah, Judah’s destination. When Judah saw her he thought that she was a temple prostitute for she had covered her face as such woman did in those days. He turned to her by the road and said please, let me lie with you. Tamar didn’t just go with him again because she was strategic about what she was doing, and she knew exactly what the outcome was that she wanted. So, she asked “what will you give me if I came in to lay with you?” And for a man of Judah’s calibre, this was a very easy question for him so he answered and said oh I will give you one of my young goat from my flock. She said well, obviously you don’t have the goats with you here but what you can do is you can give me a pledge which is something that I can hold onto until you have delivered the goat and Judah agreed. So, he asked what pledge I would give you that would be satisfactory for you and she said give me your seal, your cord, and your staff that is in your hand. She might have all have said that you know what let me just take a picture of you and hold on to that or let me just take a DNA sample of you and hold on to that because all these three things that she took from him as a pledge were things that would later come to find out where very specific and unique to Judah as an individual. No one else had his seal no one else had his staff and no one else had his cord.

So after their little you know chit chat and bargain Judah eventually lay with Tamar which is biblical jargon for had sex with Tamar. After the intimacy, Tamar got up early the next morning gathered her things left and put on put back her widows clothing and just went back to her father’s home as if nothing had happened. Eventually Judah sent the goat, which remember he had promised to Tamar. He sent this through his friend, Hirah, Tamar was nowhere to be found. He inquired from the people around and said there was a prostitute that sat by the temple where can I find her? He was told you know what there is no prostitute that sat by this temple you might have made a mistake and there was no one here. So, the friend returned to Judah and said I can’t find the person. Judah said that you know what if we can find her that’s fine, we just keep the goat because if we keep looking for her and it is found out that I am the one who laid with her, it’s going to be embarrassing for me.

A few months passed and again as word travels fast Judah was told that you know your daughter-in-law Tamar whom you had sent home to wait for your youngest son to come of age so that he would marry her? Yeah, that same Tamar is pregnant. Judah was furious, he was upset, and he ordered her to be brought out and let her be burned because of her immorality. Again, let’s not forget that just a few months even before now Judah himself had laid with Tamar whom he thought was a prostitute which was also immoral. But as it pertains to Tamar he was upset and said let’s burn her for her immorality talk about double standards.

While she was being brought to be burned, she took all the things that Judah gave her as a pledge the seal the cord the staff and said to Judah I am with child by the man to whom these articles belong. And she added please examine them carefully and see clearly to whom these things belong the seal, the cord, and the staff. Judah recognized these articles as his and said you know what she is been more righteous than I have ever been in this matter why because I did not give her my son Sheila as I had promised. And so, tamer’s life was spared. And when the time came for her to give birth the word twins in her womb these twins would eventually be called Perez and Zerah who are in the genealogy of Jesus Christ.

What lessons do we learn from Tamar in this part

Re-writing your story: Let’s be honest Judah had no plans of given Shelah to Tamar for marriage. In which case Tamar would have remained a widow in her father’s home till she passed into glory. And as we saw in part one, Judah had the power or the prerogative to release Tamar and allow her to remarry from another family, but he didn’t do that for reasons known to him. Tamar eventually realized she had the power by the grace of God to rewrite her story. She marinated on the fact that for the larger part of her adult life her story had been narrated by being passed on from son to son to son and that was all that we would know about her until she said to herself not this widow. And once she came to the realization that she had the power to break through those limiting beliefs and to rewrite her story, she in fact did rewrite her story. Though her means may be questionable, she still did rewrite her story.

I want you to pause and reflect what part of your life do you need to rewrite. What narrative has been said about you or has been taught about you that you have believed for a while and that has become your identity. I want you to start reimagining what life could be like if you said not this again. I want you to reimagine what your life would be if you decided that from henceforth, I would not buy into this narrative about my life anymore and I choose to rewrite that story. I challenge you to do that. I challenge you to take control over what the narrative has been about you. Whatever position that you’ve been placed in that you feel that you are helpless and so you’re waiting for someone to come bail you out, what if that person cannot bail you out? What if that person decides not to bail you out what will become of you? And so, I want you from now onwards to approach life and realize that you know what no one is coming to bail me out of this thing called life. No one is going to bail me out of this narrative until I decide that I’m going to bail myself out.

Strategic Planning and Positioning:

I find it hard to believe that Judah’s first time of visit in this city was when Tamar met him. He probably would have traveled to that city several times prior, and Tamar would have known or would have heard of it at some point just as she did this time. The only difference this time was that after she heard, she decided she needed to rewrite her story. She strategically planned and executed her plan. It goes without saying that you can plan all you want but if you do not pull those plans into action, you won’t get the desired results. For Tamar to be pregnant the only one time she had sex with her father-in-law meant that she was in her ovulation cycle. That is the only way she would have been pregnant by having sex with her father-in-law. Nothing else outside of that window would have worked. So, she had to be calculative enough to figure out “when I’m in my cycle and this is when I’m going to meet him and this is the conversation that I would have with him, that he would have sex with me and will be pregnant.”

On top of that for me not to be shamed or stoned to death I need to prove that he is responsible for my pregnancy. So, a goat would not be proof enough. The only evidence beyond doubt would be his articles which are his stuff his called and his seal. Tamar knew that as soon as she’s able to present these articles as evidence of the man who impregnated her, she would be vindicated and that’s exactly what happened. Why is this important? It’s important to note this because often we get into a space where we want to change our results, we want to be right our story, but we have no plans. In the off chance that we have a plan we do not strategically execute the plan. Tamar knew how to dress, she knew how to disguise herself enough not to be recognized, she knew where to sit, how to position herself so that Judah would not miss her. She knew the conversation to have with Judah and she knew how to steer the conversation to get what she wanted out of that situation. Again, I want you to think about your life what part of your life are you re-imagining what part of your life are you rewriting but narrative are you looking to rewrite what strategic plan are you putting in place to ensure that comes to pass and how are you making sure that you execute the plans that you have put in place together desired results.

When it’s all said and done Tamar said not this widow. This widow will not die a widow neither will she die motherless. She recognized that by to grace of God, I am the only one that can rewrite this story of mine and turn the end of the story. And once she had that shift in her mindset, she had a plan would she executed by positioning herself at the right place other right time having the right conversation doing the right thing disguising herself in the way that is going to give the desired results.

Daughter of Zion you cannot live a haphazard life and expect results to change. You cannot buy into the narrative of the world about you and expect that someone is going to bail you out of that narrative. When and if you find the courage to decide to rewrite, reimagine or retell that part of your story, that part of your life that thing that is holding you back right now know that planning alone is not enough you need to execute the plan. in the story.

A Woman vis – a – vis a Wife

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 19:34:55 +0000

THE WOMAN VIS-A-VIS THE WIFE

BEING A WOMAN OF PURPOSE.

“BONE OF MY BONE, FLESH OF MY FLESH HE EXCLAIMED! I SHALL CALL HER WOMAN”
Woman, was the last creation of God, not a wife. A wife is a woman who has been found by a man, and all necessary protocols observed. A woman, was the last creation of God, the man with the value added. (On the lighter note, that’s why women are more appealing physically, in stature, in movements, in curves and bends, in smell and others….)
Often times, we have forced women to act as wives, when they’re not wives yet, or even to men who are not their husbands.
The purpose of a woman and the purpose of a wife are independent of one another, inasmuch as there may be some common denominators.

An account is given of a woman who had an altercation with a man earlier this week here in Accra. The woman, driving her kids to School got to a point where the traffic was not moving. She beckoned the man driving ahead of her to reverse and allow her to drop her kids of at the school which was not far. The man got out his vehicle, and begins to “put the woman in her place”. Saying she should know her place in society and be submissive to the man. He further rants that he has her type at home, referring to his wife. (I am positive she would be very much disturbed if she was present ). The story goes on and on as the woman did give her two sense.

Now, please and please, gone are the days when we were obliged to respect and honour gender, the male gender. In the world we live in today, respect and honour is given to he who earns it and deserves it.
It is not even scripture, that the woman should be submissive to man. It states wife, be submissive to your own Husband as unto Christ. As an unmarried woman, I am under no obligation to revere or submit to someone because he’s a man just as the man who is not married to me is under no obligation to love me. Even as a married woman, my oath of submission is to my husband, and not to just any other male on the street.

1st Peter 3 v 1 In the same way, you wives must submit to yourselves to your husbands…….

I, as woman, I am to respect and be respected as a person, as the human being I am. That’s all. When I am married, I am to submit to the man who came to my house and paid my bride price and took me to be his wife.
Men shouldn’t walk around shoulder high preaching submission to every woman you meet on your street. If she’s not your wife, respect her as the person she is and that respect will be reciprocated.

Respect is given to them who earn it, them who deserve it, and them who reciprocate it.

A woman, just as a man, has a purpose. The purpose of a woman is not to find husband and give him children and on and on. We train up young women to anticipate being wives, and barely encourage them to live a purpose-filled.
I cannot over emphasise this enough, woman, your purpose was not to be a wife. You too, can have ambition, can have dreams, yes marriage can be a part of it, but it shouldn’t be the entirety of it all. Never should the success of a woman be equated to her marital status. Yes, indeed marriage has its own glory and grace it bestows on the couple, especially a woman, but never should a woman be made to feel as though her entire life is like Genesis 1v 1-2, without form or void, with darkness covering the face of the deep.
The purpose of the woman is first and foremost to worship God. He created us for His pleasure Gen 1:26-30. Your life as a purpose, should bring Glory to God. It takes us back to the previous piece on Purpose, your purpose should be aligned with God’s will. It should be traceable to the Heavens.
Then a woman was created to be a help meet to the man(Gen 2:18-22). This is probably the only denominator between being a woman and being a wife. God could have given woman any other purpose but being a helper. However, he saw the need for a helper in the life of man. The position of the helper should never be disregarded because one of the many names of God is “God my HELPER”. All things being equal, it stands to reason that the WOMAN, a Helper shares an attribute or an appellation with the Father.
A woman’s purpose, just like any other person, is exclusive to her, is relevant, must be aligned with God’s greater purpose and it directs her path in life.(refer to previous post on PURPOSE https://rubiesworth.com/factsofpurpose/).
A goodly woman will be one who has dignity, self respect, love and a good heart. She is woman of Substance.

It would be improper and unacceptable if I do not mention that the wife you become is founded on the woman you have always been.

Whether we like it or not, agree or not, accept it or not, there are roles and responsibilities for both individuals in marriage.
How well a woman plays her role as a wife depends on how well she established and played her role as a woman.
The core heavenly mandate of The Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network is to raise an army of goodly women, who have amongst other things, lived up to the purpose of a Woman, as an Individual and as a part of the last creation of God. Consequently, the Phenomenal Woman who marries would have prepared herself well and would have laid the foundation of her marriage.

The rate of divorce keeps increasing because we train our young women to anticipate marriage, and live up to that as the only purpose for which they were created. Instead of focusing and building themselves up as women, they miss the mark by anticipating to be wives forgetting its their Womanhood that makes them a wife. Meanwhile, we teach our young men to dream, to aspire, to anticipate, and if they will, they should find a wife.

As human as we are, we crave love, affection, care and attention but it is an error when the whole socialisation process of a woman is centered on these, such that the absence of these spell failure for the woman.

The time is now, that we teach our young women, to dream, to be ambitious, to have purpose, individually, and to be women, who have lived their singleness purposefully….

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

This piece was put together with the aid of my team members , Ziona Neequaye and Genevieve Agbo.

Facts of Purpose

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 25 Feb 2018 18:01:30 +0000

THE LIFE OF PURPOSE

The most important day in a lifetime is not when you passed out into this side of eternity (your birthday). Neither is it the day you find love, get a job, make the first million dollars. It is the day you find “PURPOSE”.
It is almost impossible, to find your purpose outside of the confines of your relationship with God. That is to say after you find God, you must uncover your purpose in Him.
Jesus Christ, in all His Majesty and Divinity was brought into this world to fulfill a purpose, which we all know. It tells me that God is intentional about every soul creeping upon the surface of this earth. Okay maybe, someone might say Jesus Christ is a biased example. How about John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Moses, Samuel, and you, yes you!
In this piece we’re discussing the Characteristics of Your Purpose. Determiners that will bring to bare your purpose. Imagine you’re in a test laboratory right, today we’re putting purpose to the test by putting various chemicals into a test tube to ascertain purpose. (Hehe I think I should consider changing profession, a scientist won’t be a bad fit). Let’s cut to the chase loves….

1. Everyone has a purpose, and your purpose was pre-ordained:
Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
As I have said in earlier posts, God never creates us by chance. He is not a God of Probabilities. He’s a God of certainty and intentionality. If you believe He made you, believe He made you for a purpose, and that purpose was aforethought before your existence. Find that purpose in Him and accomplish it, and trust me, you’ll reap benefits right here on earth and in eternity. Della Reese was an African-American Actress, Singer and Preacher whose career spanned over seven decades. She’s famously known for her role in TOUCHED BY ANGEL as Tess. She passed into eternity on November 19th 2017 at Peace in her home. She was 86. You’d wonder why the biography of a woman I never met physically. I grew up watching this woman every Sunday evening and heaven bares me witness, that she always brought a ray of light in my heart at the end of every episode. Inasmuch as I knew it was scripted, I believed that indeed, God exists, and angels are real. That God loves us and wishes for us to turn to Him always. She together with Monica and Andrew taught me that when you really believe in God, it gives you a courage, a confidence that enables you to meet the things coming. When I learnt of her passing, the only thing I said was, an angel is going back home.
My point is, this woman’s role in the cbs drama touched many lives, and renewed the love of God in the hearts of many, through acting as an angel. Yes Acting.
At the end of it all, your purpose must conform to the will of God, which leads to my next point.

2. Your Purpose should be aligned to God’s ultimate Will or Purpose for Mankind: the ultimate purpose of your life, is to expand the kingdom of God, of course through diverse means. If you feel you’ve found your purpose, ask yourself how does my purpose help in the Kingdom? If it doesn’t, then I’m afraid it’s all in your head.
You cannot fulfill God’s purpose for your life while focusing on your own plans- Rick Warren
I have a personal testimony in connection with this quote. When I started The Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network, one day I was setting out plans and all. I found that I was clueless. All I knew was Phenomenal Woman had to be established. I was frustrated so I just lay on my bed, attempting to sleep. At that point I fell into a trance, and I heard a voice tell me, FOCUS, BUT NOT ON YOURSELF, FOCUS ON ME.

3. Your Purpose is Exclusive to You:
Not even one person has another master key to your purpose except you. No one has the copyright or patent. The reason you need to stay true to yourself is that in being what you’re not, the whole of Humanity, especially the body of Christ, misses out on your authenticity and uniqueness. Purpose, like fingerprints are distinct and are never a match to any other persons’.

4. Your Purpose is Relevant:
Due to the exclusive nature and distinctiveness of your purpose, it is relevant. The relevance of your purpose should not be undermined or intimated by the existence of other purposes.
I bake, but there are a lot of bakeries in Accra, not to even talk of Ghana and the world. Does that deter me from my passion ? No, I believe I have my market out there. There are people who will prefer my cakes and crave for my taste so I continued to thrive. In business, it’s called Competition, but I will call it relevance for the sake of our topic.
Even in blogging and doing what I do with regards to young women, there are a lot of networks springing up day in day out but I believe I have a peculiar and distinct purpose which is exclusive to just the Phenomenal Woman Blog and Network, that is Relevance.

5. Your Purpose Determines Your Company:
Bad company corrupts good morals. What has light got to do with darkness? Be ye not unequally yoked together with an unbeliever.
Your purpose directs you to the people you meet and associate with. You cannot be at one end of the extreme, and associate with the other end of the extreme. In fact, it will come naturally. Your purpose moves you towards like-minded people, but you’ll also have to make the conscious effort of engaging with people of like-mindedness.

To be continued….
Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

The Quirks of Purpose

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 16:05:12 +0000

PURPOSE

THE WHEN OR END.

If you search deep in the waters, you will find that pearl, that gold, that Ruby. If you search at the shore, you’ll pick up shells. Your purpose is hidden in the deep waters within you, fish for it; for out of you, oh woman, shall flow rivers of living water.
The end doesn’t always justify the means, but effort will always produce result. The effort can be likened to the “HOW” and the “result” likened to the “end”. The End of your purpose is the result that is manifested or the impact that is felt. Your purpose wasn’t given to you for you. It was given to you to make an impact, to make a change, to right certain wrongs, to be a trailblazer in certain areas.
Effort will always produce result. If you put in an “effortless effort”, same will be your result. Knowing and identifying your purpose is not complete until you have lived the purpose to the end of time.
Similarly, any delay caused in acting on your purpose will lead to a much more delayed results. The time to find that purpose, and to live it is now, not tomorrow. Ever asked yourself how much time you have left on this side of eternity? Did you get a definite answer? I guess not. In the same way, dragging your feet on your purpose and being lackadaisical about it has led to the death of many visions, purposes and ideas.

HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY YOUR PURPOSE.
I’ll just mention three ways in which you will be able to ascertain your purpose.
1. You don’t disrespect yourself or compromise your values in order to live out your purpose.
2. Your purpose, at its inception, may not make much sense to everyone else except yourself and God.
3. Your purpose, makes you fulfilled as an individual.
Next week, we’ll discuss the Characteristics of your purpose.
I hope you enjoy the video??
Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

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Purpose II

Nelia Gyemfi — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 07:11:14 +0000

THE QUIRKS OF YOUR PURPOSE….

Who you are as an individual is fairly easy to discover than why you are who you are. Socialisation, family, religion, education and relationships aid us in discovering our identity. Howbeit, discovering your identity isn’t the end of the journey. Discovering why your identity is such and such is purpose. As a woman, have you ever asked why God made you a woman? And why God made you as an individual?
A purpose driven life is a fulfilled life. It is a life well lived. It is a life that has direction and focus. It is a joyous and happy life.
Everyone has a purpose, which is distinctive and exclusive to them. However, your purpose has some wheels on which it runs. In other words, your purpose is like a journey, you need certain things to be in place before you’re able to have a successful, stress-free, no frustration journey. I call these the quirks of purpose, or the peculiarity of purpose.

There are three quirks of Purpose, or three main wheels on which your journey of purpose runs.
♡THE WHY (THE LIFE OF PURPOSE)
♡THE HOW (THE PROCESS)
♡ THE WHEN (THE TIMELINE)
The WHY is the core of the subject. The other two are equally relevant to your purpose but without the core of a subject matter, all others are in vain. Just as the engine is to the train, or the heart is to the body is the “Why” to your purpose.
Why are you in existence? I highly doubt it, that you’re on this side of eternity to just get educated, have friends and family, socialise, get a family, grow old and prepare for eternity. We have made that like a default settings for life. It’s even worse off for a woman. Your life as woman and your identity, in times past, was predetermined by your father or your husband. Yours was to be home, make babies and nurture them, cook, clean and take care of your husband. You weren’t allowed to even own property to talk of have a mind and life of your own. As a matter of fact, as a woman, you were even considered a property.
Anyway, so going back to the subject of discussion, your life has no default settings and even if it did, thus assuming without accepting, default settings can be changed to suit the user’s preference. You just purchased an iPhone × . Sophisticated as it is, it comes with a default ring tone, screen saver and others. Immediately you begin to use the phone, you download some trending songs, take some cute pictures and you this sophisticated phone that is perfect on every side, you still change your default settings. Why then do you not change the default settings in your life, that is if there is?
The Why is to know your purpose for existence. God didn’t breath his life and spirit into you for a show off. He didn’t do that to prove that he was the GIVER of life.
God has a greater purpose in creating us and saving us.
“He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace” (2 Timothy 1:9).
He had a purpose for every life he created and the purpose, like out thumbprint, may be similar or even identical, but it is still distinctive.
Majority of our life is spent bring so busy that we forget we were given this life for a purpose.
Actually, it silly to ask “What is the Purpose of my Life”. Your life, is the Purpose.
The HOW involves a complex Web of processes but once figured out, gives you an easy way out to the When!
The how involves the process of finding your purpose, realising it, acknowledging it and finally executing it.
The most difficult bit is process finding the purpose. Your purpose, like pearls in the ocean, are in deep waters within you, you will find it if only you search, and search intentionally not without focus.
“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5).

A story is told of a fisherman who goes to sea at dawn to fish. He gets into his canoe, travels far into the deep of the waters because he knows that’s where the sardines and tuna are. He casts his net upon the deep of the waters, seeking to harvest sardines or tuna or even squids (I loooooooveeee squids: don’t judge me?????????). He gets the fihsh he set out to harvest but in the process, he harvests keta school boys, shrimps, crabs. All these come as a bonus. However, if he had cast his net right at the shore, he would have only crabs, shrimps and keta school boys. I am not in anyway undermining these sea creatures. If you get your shrimps with some hot Kenkey on Friday morning you may even forget your name or even crabs in okro stew with banku. Howbeit, that wasn’t what he was looking for.

Moral? If you search deep in the waters, you will find that pearl, that gold, that Ruby. If you search at the shore, you’ll pick up shells. Your purpose is hidden in the deep waters within you, fish for it; for out of you, oh woman, shall flow rivers of living water.
Let’s CONTINUE NEXT WEEK

LOVE, NELIA.PHENOMENALWOMAN

Purpose

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 14 Jan 2018 19:24:42 +0000

Purpose

Nothing happens in a vacuum. There exists nothing without a cause, an objective is sought to be achieved at the end of the day. Purpose is what answers the question, “why is that in existence”. Have you asked yourself the Why question before? We are usually susceptible to asking the Who I am question and absolutely ignore the Why am I who I am?

She gets out of bed as the sun rays strike the Ivory voil curtains gorgeously hanging at her windows. She bends her knees before her bed. It was at this point the devil knew he was out of control yeah. She says her morning prayers, heads for her bathroom. She stands in awe, of who she is. What she’s made up of, her most intricate assets are beyond what meets the eye. She stares at how graciously her kinky hair is coiled up in the messy bun she wore to work the previous day. She looks into her eyes, and sees nothing but life. She murmurs, thank you God, for who I am. The woman I am becoming, the girl I was yesterday and the lady I’ll be forever be. I am a Phenomenal Woman.
Just in the nick of time, while she’s having some me time, she pauses for a second as she realises an error. An error that has lingered on for as long as is deemed possible. In a soliloquy, she says, why am I phenomenal? Is it so I can just brag about it? Is it so I can be a self-acclaimed phenomenal woman like some self acclaimed queens? Is it just for the title and applause? Why am I a woman? Why am I me?

Purpose is the reason for which something is. It is why something exists. It also defines a person’s resolve or determination.
It is often said that the most important day in the life of a person is not the day they’re born, but rather the day they pass out of this side of eternity. However, I stand to differ. The most valuable day in the life of every person is the day they discover why they were created. The day you unearth your purpose. The reason is that whatever or however you go about your purpose on earth, determines how you’ll live, and ultimately your eternity.
No one is brought into this world by mistake. I have heard circumstances where a child is regarded as a mistake because the parents had no intention of reproducing their kind. Even before the embryo fertilised and formed a zygote, thus a clot of blood, God knew the life that was within and had a purpose for him or her. You may have gotten pregnant involuntarily, but God did not create that life involuntarily. He’s an intentional God. He doesn’t do anything in the spur of the moment.
Who you are as an individual is fairly easy to discover than why you are who you are. Socialisation, family, religion, education and relationships aid us in discovering our identity. Howbeit, discovering your identity isn’t the end of the journey. Discovering why your identity is such and such is purpose. As a woman, have you ever asked why God made you a woman? And why God made you as an individual?
A purpose driven life is a fulfilled life. It is a life well lived. It is a life thar has direction and focus. It is a joyous and happy life.
Everyone has a purpose, which is distinctive and exclusive to them. In the subsequent weeks (I’ll try to wrap this series up as soon as I can), we’ll discuss PURPOSE.

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman