Personal – Being Phenomenal

Before you discard “New Year’s Resolution”, read this… pt2

Nelia Gyemfi — Mon, 15 Jan 2024 03:00:36 +0000

Third week of the year 2024 it is! How is it going friends? Settling into the year well?

In our previous post, we explored what could be some barriers preventing you from being successful in your crushing your goals. It would be unfair to speak about one side without the other, that is an imbalance. In this piece, we will unpack a few tools and tactics to help us.

Let’s dig right in…

Pray, no like for real pray: God is not a created being, He is the Creator. You and me, and everything else, created by God (Gen. 1 v26) or by man. Our status as created beings put us at a natural disadvantage of lacking all knowledge. We cannot, and will never, know more than the creator concerning the created being and things. I can never know more about a car than the engineer who designed and built it.

Same logic applies with God; we know somethings, sometimes, but we will not know all things at all times.

Imagine this, you purchase a vehicle, and the only way you drive the vehicle without worrying is that you pay for a monthly insurance. In that case, you know that should any wear, accidents or issues come up, you call up your insurance company and all is taken care of. And the thing with your car insurance is sometimes you got to hustle them and prove why you deserve the insurance claim. But the logic here that I want to highlight is that paying for insurance on your vehicle gives you a certain level of peace. Knowing that when it is needed, you will have it.

Here is the thing about praying, it is our only fail-proof insurance in this walk of life. I could list endless Bible verses about why you need to pray because it is a commandment, or it is the only way to communicate with God. I could also tell you that Jesus Christ, in man form prayed consistently, and all of that would be the truth. Today, I want you to imagine your life without an insurance policy. Anything can and will happen to you. Your plans don’t have the surety of succeeding. You can’t be sure that the decision you made, in 20 years from today will be beneficial.

And even with the wisdom and foresight of experience and growth, our decisions/plans/life are not all fail-proof, or at least that’s what I think. Knowing what decisions/plans to make, its connection to our blessings, benefit or consequences require a high-level security clearance and insurance that can only be in God. Only God knows it all, because He exists in and of Himself, and only in Him can we insure our decisions against loss.

So when you pray concerning a goal, pray that it is insured and fail-proof in Christ Jesus!

Measure your progress: “In God we trust; all others must bring data.” —W. Edwards Deming.

Imagine you are at a game, let’s say a soccer game and after 90 minutes of game play, and maybe an extra 5 minutes of injury time, there are no scores. Not even a 0-0. The scoreboard just says game over. No scores or nothing. Can you tell how absurd that is? Keeping scores in a game is not only about who won/lost, but it provides an accurate performance report.

Unfortunately, most of us, myself included go through our lives as though we went to game that didn’t keep scores. We actively avoid measuring our progress for fear of confronting the bitter truth that we may not be doing as good as we are, or the fear that we are doing better than we imagined, therefore inviting us to do more.

Scorekeeping serves as a practical reality check, offering insights and performance feedback. Efficient measurement eliminates emotional bias from the evaluation process, providing an accurate portrayal of your performance. The focus is solely on outcomes, disregarding effort or intentions.

It’s common to rationalize subpar results occasionally, but effective scorekeeping compels us to confront the reality of our situation, even when discomfort arises. Though this confrontation may be challenging, doing so promptly allows us to shift our actions toward achieving more favorable results. Effective measurement demands our attention, urging immediate responses and enhancing the likelihood of future success.

Effective time management: Time is the one non-renewable resource we have, unfortunately it is the one resource we treat as if we can make more of. The next time you are tempted to procrastinate, remember that you cannot reproduce time. I say this not to cause panic, but to bring to your attention or remembrance, that if you do not control your time, you cannot control your results.

Being available to everyone and for everything is an indication that external people and things impact your time more than you take charge. Truth is to hit those goals like a bullseye, time must be dedicated to them. It is a non-negotiable. You want to scale the business, you got to put time in. You want to lose the weight, put time in. You need to pass those exams, time. Show one thing you need to accomplish which doesn’t involve time….. I am waiting. Right none, I thought as much.

One practical way to ensure you have a grasp of your time is the use of time blocks. Figure out your best working time. Are you an early bird or night owl? Block out about 2-3 hours of those peek performance hours and get your time in for your goals.

This is in no way an exhaustive list, however I believe it is the best way to get going on those goals. It is my hope and prayer that a year from now, we would check those goals off our list, and be ready to dive into a fresh set of goals!!

Wishing you all the best of 2024!!!

Love and hugs,

Nelia

Leave us a comment… we would love to know what you think!

Before you discard “New Year’s Resolution”, read this…

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 07 Jan 2024 04:13:36 +0000

Hey there, friend! First of all, congratulations on making it into 2024! Regardless of whether you sprinted, strolled, or even dragged yourself into the new year, the fact that you’re here is an achievement in itself. Take a moment to appreciate that.

With the start of a new year, many of us embrace the idea of a fresh beginning, a chance to improve ourselves or revive dormant dreams. The concept most commonly associated with this pursuit is the “New Year’s Resolution.” While some argue its ineffectiveness without a commitment to daily actions, it’s essential not to dismiss the value of setting new goals on January 1st. For many, the new year signifies more than a mere change in the calendar; it’s an awakening.

Rather than discarding the idea of resolutions, what might truly benefit us is providing tools and resources to support those who find solace and purpose in setting new goals each year. This shift in mindset could lead to a daily commitment to living our best lives, aligning our present actions with the future we envision.

Before you decide to abandon your New Year’s Resolutions or Goals, consider these common barriers that might be hindering your success:

https://rubiesworth.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/God-Goals-Growing-and-Glowing.mp4

Lack of Emotional/Spiritual Connection to the Resolution: A resolution should stem from a deep conviction to change, grounded in emotional or spiritual fulfillment. Ask yourself: What emotional or spiritual connection do I have to this goal? Connect your resolutions to a compelling vision for your life, bridging the gap between your present and your envisioned future.

For example, let’s say I resolve to revive my blog and post more. This resolution is not merely a fleeting desire; it arises from a profound understanding that writing is an integral part of who I am. The act of putting words on paper brings me a level of emotional and spiritual fulfillment that nothing else can match. To truly embark on the journey of writing more frequently and sharing my gift with the world – my ultimate goal – I recognize the need to establish a deep emotional and spiritual connection between the act of writing and the larger vision I have for my life.

Consider this: What is your vision for your life? Picture yourself at the ripe age of 90, reflecting on the long and blessed life that God has granted you. What legacy do you want to leave behind? What level of fulfillment do you hope to experience? Now, bring your thoughts back to the present moment. The gap between your current reality and your envisioned self at 90 encompasses more than just time; it involves the compelling vision you hold.

This compelling vision should serve as the guiding force for your present-day goals. By aligning your goals with the emotional and spiritual connection to your overarching life vision, you provide wings to your commitment. These wings will allow you to glide seamlessly towards your objectives, driven not only by the desire for change but by a deeper understanding of how these actions contribute to the fulfillment of your life’s purpose.

Victim Mindset: Life has its ups and downs, but blaming external factors for our challenges perpetuates a victim mindset. Take ownership of your actions and outcomes, recognizing that waiting for someone else to fix things won’t lead to a fulfilling life. Life is inherently unpredictable, with some days being fantastic, others average, and some challenging. This imbalance is what maintains life’s equilibrium. However, adopting a victim mindset, blaming others or systems for difficult days, hinders personal growth. A victim mindset seeks external redemption instead of taking ownership of life’s challenges. Individuals in this mindset limit their success by attributing it to external factors. To truly enjoy life, it’s crucial to reject the victim mindset, as waiting for external solutions hampers personal responsibility. As Candace Owens puts it, “Life is tough; get a helmet.” Embrace challenges, but don’t rely on others to provide the solutions – choose not to live in a victim mindset.

Shedding Accountability: In “The 12 Week Year” book, the authors emphasize that accountability goes beyond mere consequences; it involves taking ownership of one’s actions and results. It’s a character trait and a life stance, requiring a willingness to be responsible regardless of the circumstances. While accountability often implies someone else ensuring corrective measures, the authors argue that true accountability is an individual commitment. Relying on others for accountability is not an honest system; instead, having an accountability partner means having someone witness your ownership of actions or inactions. For example, if I commit to writing and publishing a blog weekly, it’s crucial to take ownership of that commitment. Sharing it with a friend is beneficial, but it doesn’t transfer responsibility; the friend becomes a witness to my accountability. Ultimately, expecting others to consistently play the role of holding you accountable is unrealistic, as everyone is busy navigating their own lives, except for those who brought you into this world i.e. parents or are paid to teach you.

Conflicting Intentions: Conflicting intentions arise when our stated goals clash with certain aspects of our desires, making it difficult to achieve milestones. For instance, aspiring to lose 10kg while indulging in any made of flour, eggs, sugar, and butter reveals conflicting intentions. The challenge lies in these hidden intentions that we may be unaware of or avoid confronting. Many times, our written goals don’t align with our true selves, hindering achievement. To bridge this gap, it’s essential to acknowledge and confront these hidden intentions. For example, desiring weight loss while still enjoying food or lacking motivation to exercise indicates a misalignment. Reconciling written goals with these hidden truths is crucial for successful goal attainment. Until this reconciliation occurs, achieving New Year’s resolutions remains elusive.

Over – ambitiousness: Over-ambitiousness in setting goals can be counterproductive. While the notion of dreaming big is often encouraged, it can also be a reason why goals remain unachieved. The optimism that accompanies new year resolutions might wane when the reality of the effort required to make significant changes sets in. Therefore, it’s crucial not to set goals that are overly ambitious. While stretching oneself is commendable, it should be a reasonable stretch within reach. For example, committing to publishing a blog consistently is a worthwhile goal, but aiming to publish three times a week might be excessively ambitious and lead to discouragement. A more realistic and achievable stretch could be committing to publishing once a week – challenging enough to push beyond comfort zones but not so overwhelming as to cause panic and avoidance of the goal.

Next week, we will walk though some success tips to crushing your goals. And no, you do not know what it will be. Keep an open mind!

Leave a comment, and share with a friend! Oh and Happy New Year!

Healed In Victory (Interview with KoHsin Illingworth)

Nelia Gyemfi — Sat, 25 Feb 2023 13:49:44 +0000

For many, the acronym HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) may be a death sentence, and rightly so. But for KoHsin Illingworth, it has taken a new meaning, which will unfold as you continue to walk with us in this story.

Kohsin tell us about your childhood. How was it like growing up?

I grew up in a financially stable home, alongside my brother. As kids we were competitive. As every young girl, I had my ambitions, plans and dreams for her future. My parents were bankers who paid keen attention to the physical, academic, and financial pieces of my life. However as with most parents, that was at the cost of being emotionally available for their daughter. Interesting, I found Jesus on my own even though I was born into a Buddhist home. I got baptized, which was a public confession of my faith. I had my insecurities growing up. These insecurities and the vacuum left by the emotional and mental neglect of my parents fueled her insecurities and motivated me to seek solace elsewhere.

When did you relocate to the UK and for what?

After my undergraduate degree in Taiwan, I eventually relocated from the Uk to pursue a Master’s in commerce at the

How was life in the UK for you as a newcomer?

I thought I had found this new level of freedom. I would be hopping from party to party, engaging in one-night stands etc. I was at a party one night where I was raped. I was drunk but I still remember that experience and how my body was violated that night. A few years later, I met and married my lovely husband. Everything was going on well, for a young couple. Until I started falling ill and the doctors couldn’t diagnose what was wrong with my body. I was committed even to the mental institutions because she was diagnosed with clinical depression and maniac episodes. One fateful night, I lost consciousness, collapsed, and had to be transported to the hospital in an ambulance. The doctors at the point, at their wits end decided to test for HIV/AIDS. The tests came out positive. The Doctors mentioned this was contracted about 6 or 7 years ago, and had develop into a full-blown AIDS, which was gradually killing me.

At this point Kohsin, finding out that you have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, from rape, if you could go back in time to speak to your younger self then, what would you tell her?

I would say to her be careful about your association. If you find yourself in the wrong crowd, it is easier to land in darkness. Be wise, especially as a woman. Having one-night stands wasn’t wise of me. Don’t be careless and take care of yourself.

What was your initial reaction after being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS?

Prior to the diagnosis, I did not have any HIV/AIDS awareness but only knew the diagnosis was fatal. Especially when the nurses would constantly remind me “Mrs. Illingworth, we are doing our possible best to save your life.” I also observed my husband howling and crying, and that was also an indication of how bad it was. I would eventually contemplate suicide by overdosing on her medication.

How did this impact your marriage and family?

It impacted my husband a lot. He had a front row seat to my illness. He was also eventually diagnosed with HIV. Imagine a young couple who married in their early 30’s and a year later, I am dying with Aids and my husband is diagnosed with HIV. He may have been in a better situation than me, but it was still bad. My husband would still visit me in the hospital daily even though he was going through his own trials at the time.

Let’s talk about the healing process. We have talked so much about the painful past and how you came to realize your diagnosis let’s get into the good stuff.

When I was in the hospital even though I was physically weak I found some inner strength and I believe it was the power of God that came over me. I started praying just in the little way that I could. Prior to being diagnosed or even prior to marrying my husband I had completely left the place of fellowship with God. It wasn’t until one day when I had left the hospital, I heard God’s voice clearly speak to me saying that KoHsin am waiting for you to come home. I looked around trying to see if there was anyone next to me who had spoken those words to me but there was no one around me. I was alone and I heard the voice clearly speak to me that I’m waiting for you to come home.

After I heard that that voice I jumped into a taxi, and I went straight to a Baptist Church. Once I got into the church, I narrated my whole experience to the people, and they were kind and loving enough to welcome me into fellowship into their community and just show me the love of God. And this is how my healing process began because I went back to my father’s house and the warmth, the love, the embrace, that I experienced from the people but most importantly from God was word started my healing journey.

I also had to learn to forgive myself for the mistakes of my past. I had to forgive myself because I had constantly blamed myself thinking that if I hadn’t attended that party that evening I would not have been raped and I would not have contracted the HIV/AIDS. But I came to the place where I knew that to accept God’s forgiveness for me, I had to forgive the man that raped me, I had to forgive myself and I had to accept the forgiveness that I know was in God.

Additionally, I also sought counselling with the Christian Counsellors and that really helped put my marriage with my wonderful husband back on track.

At what point did you find out that you were in the process of getting physically healed from HIV/AIDS?

I was put on HIV antiretroviral medication. These medications were very effective to the extent that my HIV virus count dropped within a very short period from 25,000 to 0. While I believe in the efficiency of the medication, I also believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ and while I was even on medication, I would constantly pray asking God for my HIV virus counts to reduce drastically. It came to me as no shock when I found out after some months of being on the HIV medication that my stats had moved from thousands to zero, which is non detectable.

Let’s talk about the lives this story has touched. Then we’ll talk a bit about your ministry because I know that it was through this healing that you started your ministry healed in victory so we can also talk about that a bit.

I started having courage as I continued to pray to God praying to put something in me. I remember I went on a mission trip and that’s when I was told during coaching that Kohsin, you have a lot of emotional baggage, but you need to pray to God’s will to be done.

I continued to seek the face of God, even to allow me to conceive a baby. During Christmas at 2015, I gave birth to my daughter, Hannah. It was a difficult pregnancy as I was still HIV positive. I was under specialist care. I gave birth to a miracle child, Hannah, who was born without any trace of HIV in her body. That was the second miracle I experienced in this period of my life.

So, at this point, I knew I had to open and share my testimony with the world. At every given opportunity, every platform, every stage. God opened the door for me to go to go back to Taiwan, my home country where I was the first Taiwanese woman to go on live TV to share my story, from HIV to Christ. It was broadcast on Taiwan’s Christian channel, and it blessed so many lives. I received positive feedback and then that’s when I realized God is using my testimony to break the shame and stigma around HIV/AIDS.

The Taiwanese TV station was the first step to use to attend that healed in victory ministry is that correct

Yes, when I started to share my testimony the first one was broadcast from Taiwanese gospel channel and then from that I shared in Thailand. I also shared on so many channels, including BBC Radio. The platforms and opportunities to share are innumerable. Every opportunity I am presented with, I share to the end that many will believe in the healing power of God. To the world, HIV is a terminal disease with stigma, but in God, HIV means Healed in Victory.

I’m not ashamed to tell people that I was HIV. It took like 10 years through the restoration process to get healed. As such, we need to encourage people not to give up in believing that God can still heal.

Even as I hear you talk about healed in victory and you talking about your journey from HIV and everything, I believe that God did not only heal you from the physical debilitating effects of HIV. I feel like there was a real mental healing as well. Someone might think that I don’t have HIV, so this is not for me, or I don’t have a physical illness, so I don’t need God. But I believe that your story is such a wholesome healing experience. You got healed from many things like insecurity, mental illness and the trauma of rape.

Tell us about your book, Real Mums, Real Jesus.

As a new mother, and with my HIV status, I couldn’t breastfeed my daughter Hannah. Additionally, having her through caesarean session made me feel alienated to her. I didn’t have the instant maternal bond I thought I would have. Other struggles reared their head, and as I began to speak with other mothers, they related with my struggle. So, the book is a collection of experiences, written for mothers by mothers, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. I said to God I said all those real moms’ stories if I didn’t put “Real Jesus” on the front it will probably reach to more audience because I want to use this book to help myself and help women and moms around the world. That was my initial initiative and my vision, but God really said to be put the real Jesus on the front cover and then put the word of God alongside them.

This book has been translated in Urdu for our community in Pakistan and, Swahili for our folks in Kenya. Pakistan, India, and Taiwan. We continue to receive tremendous testimonies on the book.

You can purchase a copy of the book by clicking this link.

Thanks for reading. Let Kohsin know how her story has inspired and ignited hope in you by leaving a comment.

Purity vs Virginity.

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 15 Aug 2021 22:46:46 +0000

pu·ri·ty

/ˈpyo͝orədē/

Noun freedom from adulteration or contamination.

Well, hello, and welcome to part 3 of the series, “What’s sex got to do with her? Exploring deeper elements of female sexuality among Christians”. The Church, in its entirety, has shied away from speaking on the topic of sex from the pulpit. The few times the Church has attempted to address sex in sermons, seminars, and marriage books, rarely do we hear a female perspective on teaching meant for the whole Church. Even more, censored is the conversation on single women and their sexuality.

Part 3 of our series is “Purity vs Virginity.” We want to uncover the most valid form or meaning of sexual morality that pleases God. Not man, not family, not society, not the pastor, but God and God alone.

In part 2 of the series “The myth of Virginity, or not,” we set the tone by defining what virginity is. Virginity, we defined as the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse.” We understood that there is not any physical marker that can determine whether a woman is a virgin or not. The only concrete way to find out is by asking her.

In the same way, it is prudent to define “purity” being the second side to the coin of this conversation. Purity is the quality of being unmixed, uncontaminated, or wholesome. An example of purity is the quality of a clear diamond with no blemishes.

Allow me to digress a bit. Before we all came to Christ or came to know and believe in the one true God, we were all plagued with sin, guilt, and uncleanliness.

Romans 3 v 22-24 Even the righteousness of God which is by the faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:

Our redemption is in Christ Jesus, and we have been justified freely by grace. In simple language, it is not our list of “dos and don’ts” that earn us the privilege of being redeemed. It is simply by grace.

Matthew 5:8

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Psalm 24 v 3-5

Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive the blessing from the LORD and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

Purity in scripture is deep! It is profound because it is about God, not about us. Purity is about recognizing the holiness and righteousness of God and allowing your heart to be in sync with that nature of God. Purity is about our hearts and spirits communing with God supernaturally and divinely. Purity is not about you, and because it is not about you, only God can truly help you be pure in your heart and spirit.

Purity is not the list of ten commandments where we get rewarded or punished for flouting a principle. If purity had anything to do with us, or if it were indeed a list of dos and don’ts, our salvation will be of no consequence. Or there wouldn’t be the need for salvation, by which we freely receive grace.

BUT

The people in the Church have made it so that purity is synonymous with virginity. When you hear “oh, she’s pure,” it connotes, “oh, she is a virgin.” It is as if all other aspects of this person cease to exist because they remain a virgin. Or it is as if being a virgin precludes one from all other forms of perversion or sinfulness. Or it means being a virgin is, by default, bearing all the fruits of the spirit. We have downplayed the extent of depth of purity to whether a person is having sex or not. We have reduced the efficacy of the words “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” to mean “Blessed are those who commit every other sin but sex, for God is pleased with them.” We have been so obsessed with the idea that purity is about us and not about God that we have found a unit of measurement, virginity.

I think the question we should ask is, what does it mean to be pure in heart?

The Apostle makes a compelling submission to the Church of Corinth, which can be very much likened to the Church today about sexual immorality.

This cluster of verses has very much been famous. I can recall knowing “the body is the temple of God,” but what does it really mean? What does it mean when the Apostle Paul in the earlier verses says that every sin you commit is outside the body, but the sin of fornication or sexual immorality is a sin against your flesh? And I guess the question is if I am sinning against myself, my flesh, what is the big deal? Who does that offend? I am not hurting anyone. And this is the lie the enemy has sold to us, and we so ever blindly have purchased this lie.

Many folks who engage in all forms of perversion believe reasonably it’s not to harm no one. And a lot of us are distrusting of what the word of God says about sexual immorality. It’s as if we may love God if we didn’t have any restrictive clauses attached to it. But we forget that before God gave any form of restriction, He gives freedom. We are distrusting because “why would God tell me what to do with my sexual body part?

Truth is the Bible speaks to how we should conduct ourselves with all our bodily parts. We have commandments on what to say or not to say, not to steal, walk or sit amid sinners etc. Such is it with our sexual organs; God can definitely tell us what to do with it and what not to. With the level of pleasure or gratification that comes with sexual activities, we are resistant to that truth. We want to have no part in restrictive commandments because first, we do not trust that God is all-wise and second, that He means well for us. It is like a parent restricting their child from climbing up a high countertop. The toddler will throw a tantrum because they do not trust that their parent is all-wise to tell them what to do and what not to do. Secondly, they do not trust that the parent means well for them. They also have conveniently forgotten that they have the whole floor to play, that there is no restriction in that freedom. It is true that when the toddler indeed falls off the stool, they hurt themselves physically, but they also hurt the parent. And that is how we treat God; when He says to flee from sexual immorality because you sin against your body, you hurt your flesh, but you hurt my spirit that lives within you by hurting your flesh.

I am using the term sexual immorality to encompass not just sexual intercourse but all other forms of sexual perversions like pornography and anything in that sphere.

So, let’s try to unpack this verse after verse because if not, I am not sure how to bring finality to this confusion and plethora of questions.

1 Corinthians 6v 12 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are expedient. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

Expedient means advantageous, or beneficial or prudent. The Apostle Paul opens His submission by saying that while I can do anything under the law or have an excuse to do anything and everything I want, It is not advantageous for me to do so. I find this very compelling even outside the context of sexual immorality. We live in a world where the lines between what is right and wrong are being blurred consistently. The world is gradually becoming an “intelligent fool” because we think we are wise in our own way. Most dangerous of all, we believe we are wise above God. But we forget that to be wise is to seek God and to despise knowledge is to be a fool. Your degree is not what makes you wise. Your degree and your education give you intellect, not knowledge or wisdom. The fear(reverence) of God is the only way to be wise. Now, because we are becoming intelligent fools by the day, we, as Christians, are more than ever flirting with culture and “wokeness” in the name of being open-minded. But here Paul is saying that all things in this world are lawful, not far from the truth. The bigger question is, how is that beneficial to me? How does it benefit my relationship with God, family & loved ones?

1st Corinthians 6 v 14-17 But the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body: and God both raised the Lord, and will raise up us through his power. Know ye not that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? God forbid. Or know ye not that he that is joined to a harlot is one body? For, The twain, saith he, shall become one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

This is some good stuff right here. Apostle Paul, at this juncture, acknowledges two things:

1. Our physical body is for God’s glory.

2. That God is concerned with our spirit than our flesh, but whatever we do with our flesh weighs in on our heart & spirit.

To be continued.

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Be your Selfie IV!!! (Final Post).

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 15 Jan 2017 19:07:39 +0000

In the previous post on the ” be your self” series, we made mention of the fact that there are two kinds of people who are somewhat content with themselves.
We said there were the black and white copies who are very appreciative of who there were but at the same time were mediocre in their thinking or way of life. They wouldn’t strive to be the very best of themselves yet they get envious of those who vow to make the best of their situation.
The second kind of persons were the coloured copy. The one who accepts who he or she is, but doesn’t settle for mediocrity nor anything less. These are the kind of persons we want to be. And in today’s post, we shall discuss how we can be the coloured versions of ourselves. Right before then, let’s talk a tiny winny bit about the PARABLE OF THE TALENTS.

I’m pretty sure we all are familiar with this story from our Sunday School days. However, let’s discuss it’s relevance and bearing on the topic. The ones who had 5 and 2 talents each made an extra 5 and 2 talents out of it. They harnessed what had been given to them to produce more such that even if the master came and said give me back what I gave unto you, they will still have some extra left to work with. But the one who had one, did nothing. In fact, he did worse. He hid it. At least he should have spent it or something. He buried it. This means not only did he not make the most of the talent given, he made what he had dormant.
That is our whole discussion personified.

Now how can you be the coloured versions of ourselves?

Right from the parable above, you must harness what is within you. A lot of times, people say they do not know what their talents or unique selling points are. But there are also a whole lot of people who know what it is, but like the servant with one talent, they give excuses as to why they can’t.
Identify your weakness. Accept them and be sure they do not come in your way of being your coloured self.
Take responsibility for your actions, inactions and mistakes. Be apologetic when you know you are wrong not defensive. Do not look for people to blame for what went wrong in your life.

Do not be scared to take initiatives, risks and push yourself to do more. Focus on what you love to do and you will still be outstanding even if there are a whole lot of persons doing the same thing. I always use @kafuipraise photography as a case study here. There will always be distractions and obstructions, but like Paul, fix your eyes on the prize and run that you may obtain.

Yours truly,
Nelia Gyemfi…xxx

BYS III. Work on yourself, not your selfie!

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 20 Nov 2016 20:04:27 +0000

Soo two weeks ago we came to a consensus, and an understanding, that we cannot add all those pretty, sensational and breathtaking filters and edits to our real life. That is a fantasy and that would be to also live a lie. I made mention of a part where sometimes in life, these embellishments are necessary additives on our way to becoming who we truly are. Yes but here’s the thing, the filters, edits and effects ( I prefer to call them embellishments ) can only and will only be evident on the outside of ourselves when and only when they are imbibed in our inner man.
Okay let me break it down. Do we all remember the grade school ICT slang GIGO? Garbage In Garbage Out!! You feed the computer rubbish raw data, you get no less as a processed information.
Oh la la! Micaela said “Distinctiveness as an individual is what makes you great”. But guess what sweethearts, distinctiveness is a default setting accessible to all; which will on the contrary, not be activated if we decide not to harness it and put it to a commendable use.
I’m pretty sure it’s very well understood by us all that we were;

Each created in the image of God, and He’s the only person to look to if you want to find yourself.
Regardless of the fact that we were all, created in the image and likeness of God, we are individually distinct and unique from one another.

However, there are some mechanisms and protocols of life that make us better ourselves as we are. Remember we said not to be the photocopy of another person, but rather to be the original, unadulterated, unique copy of you. And in doing that, you can decide to either be the “black and white copy or the coloured copy”.
Now, the black and white copy kind of people are those that:

Accept who they are, obviously with no struggle at all.
They are also the kind of persons who in accepting who they really are, do not do much about their situations, in short, they do not seek to better themselves in any way.
They are almost always content with mediocrity.

But this is not the kind of copies we seek to be. We seek to be the most colourful, most productive, most attractive, and the best copy of ourselves. The coloured copy kind of persons also;

Accept who they are, with no struggle as well, but here’s the difference, they seek to be the best kind of them. They know that I can either be a black and white me or a coloured me; and they choose the latter.
In accepting that they want to be the coloured version of themselves, do not sit idle, looking pretty all day and night, in season and out of season.They put effort in themselves, they strive to be who they want to be. They build themselves up in every kind of way possible. ( Now this is where the black and white copy people get worried, jealous and envious. But I went to the same high school with her, why was she well composed than I? Or I have the same qualifications as her, why was she accepted at the interview not I? Sister, because she did some more work to be the coloured copy. Nothing prevents you from doing same.)
This kind of persons have nothing in common with mediocre perceptions or ways of doing things.

Which one would you rather be, it’s your cup of tea served to you, whether you drink it hot, or cold, or better still whether you spill it or decide to drink it and savor every moment, still entirely up to you.
But I would rather you decide today, to not just be the you and accept how things are. Be the you that strives for the greater and better part of you.
As a teenager, some few years back, I read an article; probably a myth about how the human mind has a very great capacity, such that even the very renowned scientists and academia used very very very minute part of their mind and brain. As a young girl, I asked myself, what then am I using this for? If the human brain is that powerful, then I can’t even fathom and imagine what I can do and become. I bet you some teenagers my age, were also privy to this information, but probably just said really so Albert Einstein used just about 11% of his brain? Oh it’s a lie.
But even if it is a lie and a well known founded myth that humans do not use up to 20% of their brain in their entire lifetime, I suppose it’s just for humans to acknowledge that whatever they put their minds and efforts to, can be greatly achieved because you haven’t harnessed a greater portion of your brain.

A wise friend once told me in a conversation we were having about fulfilling purpose and living a life of vision, and he said ” Nelia, some people die full, few others die half empty, and very little die empty and I will not leave this side of eternity until am empty”. I was lost in thoughts. I pretended to have made some sense out of what he said. But then I eventually asked, what do you mean? He said ” those who die full are those that fulfilled nothing with regards to their purpose. Everything God gave them is buried with them. Those who die half-empty did some work with regards to purpose and it’s fulfillment. Those that die empty, leave everything here, having attained the fulfillment of their purpose and vision”.

As Samuella rightly puts it, we have a choice. Always and always. On that note, in our next post on this series, we shall discuss how we can be the coloured versions of us.
Catch you all next week as we continue this talk…
In the mean time, thanks for reading but be a darling by sharing and also leave a comment ?.
Lots of love♡♡♡
Nelia.

Be your selfie (II) I Am What You Cannot See.

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 13 Nov 2016 20:20:14 +0000

Heya…well well well…remember Micaela? Anyways so I came across a poem she wrote, sometime back. Probably way before our paths crossed but then I was like wow…she’s got to do a piece on the #BE YOUR SELFIE SERIES. I kind of just dropped the bombshell on her a few days ago. I text her and am like “CAELA YOU ARE DOING THE NEXT POST” She says Nelia what?! Are you sure? And I say Absolutely! !
And she stuns me when I receive the piece! And I know this piece will wow you from here to the moon and back. She addresses the issues at stake from a whole different point of view which I whole heartedly believe will relate well with some of us. It’s true what the Phenomenal Maya Angelo said.. that in diversity, there is beauty and there is strength.
In the diversity Micaela inputs in this work, there is indeed beauty and strength.
Ladies and (gentlemen),
Micaela presents I AM WHAT YOU CANNOT SEE.

When I wrote this poem, I was in a very bad place. A place I have never been before emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I was trying to understand what I wanted out of life, I was scared of the future and I wanted as much as possible to please everybody and do what everybody says. I was confused, yet enlightened. I was yearning for something, yet I felt a pseudo-feeling of fulfilment. I was always in mixed emotions. Whether it was to do with love, work, academia and friends. All in all, I was in a pit left to fight a battle against myself, with myself and everybody else. So when our girl Cornelia came to me one evening and said (mind you not in so many words, but in many emoji’s haha), ‘Micaela you have to write about this!’ I immediately thought, wow really? Is she sure? There is so much history in between those lines and within the words – it’s simply bringing up the difficult side of the past. But then, after I looked at it again closely, after a year, I realised, this is indeed an empowering piece. How did I miss this? After acknowledging this, I thought, ok, yes, now, I need to look for some awesome, cool, Bible scriptures that extremely reiterate the morals of this poem, something that will relate to us as women and also, most importantly be able to blow our minds with excitement! Whilst frantically flying through bible quotes, I just stopped and for some reason, I went on ahead and started writing.
Therefore my African Queens, what you are about to read, is simply a brief snippet of unfiltered, raw thought processes – some of which you may agree with and have experienced. Some of which you may not agree with. And that is ok Life is a learning process and we are all entitled to our own opinions! Now, (assuming that I haven’t lost you just yet – hold on!) let us embark on thinking about what it means to be your extra-ordinary self!
There is something that I have always admired about us African women. Besides the fact that we are strong, independently and collectively, we are aware of who we are, what we can do and what we want. We shouldn’t see our nubian, melanin skin as a setback. It is where we draw our strength… (after we have sought to find ourselves from the image from which we were made- CHRIST). It seems that this is an instinct, it feels like it is common knowledge. Perhaps it is a common language. It is beautiful and inspiring that we speak in these secret codes. We may not explicitly use words at times to augment this, but there seems to be some form of awareness. For me, whenever I find myself looking my skin (probably when my mind is wandering off), I don’t just see my flesh and veins. I see beyond that. I see history. I see a lineage of many kingdoms and empires ingrained in my DNA. I see a woman who has found herself, not per the standards of society, nor by the expectations of family, neither is it by the pressures from comrades and mates. (What do you see in yours? Comment below!).
We all know that we come from one or more than one nation in Africa. For instance, I am Ghanaian. However, if we think back to roughly the 12th Century, the ‘Ghana Empire’ itself consisted of many smaller regions and kingdoms going beyond the current territorial borders. It spanned across what we now know today as Mauritania and Mali. This shows that maybe I have a little Mauritanian and Malian in me! Queen, what I would like you to draw from here in my case is that as I am a melting pot of different centuries’ old ethnic kinships, and perhaps maybe due to this I may have inherited certain characteristics in personality or appearance, I AM STILL UNIQUE; AND SO ARE YOU. You have your own unique talents, strengths and weaknesses, vision, passion, thus, your own great personality. You have been purposefully fashioned to not be a copy of someone else. Yes, you may look like your brother or sister or your mum, but within, there is certainly no one like you. If we think back to the concept of sisterhood, we can see that it is based on a community of women coming together for a good cause. Mostly for the purpose of empowerment. The key thing to note here, is that as we do come together, we are bringing all of our talents to the table. We are walking into this community with our uncommon differences. DISTINCTIVENESS AS AN ININDIVIDUAL IS WHAT MAKES YOU GREAT.
Once again, going into why I wrote this poem, I think I wrote it in retaliation. In retaliation to what was said and thought about me. I have always known that there is something special inside of me, something that no one else can see or envision. You have that special thing inside of you too. Only you can feel it and see what it looks like. Sometimes it is pretty hazy to see, I admit. The beauty of this is going on another journey to see it and understand it again. It is what motivates you and encourages you to aspire to various heights.
Queen, let this week be a reflection of what that thing is to you. Please understand that this makes you extra-ordinary. This makes you what you are that others cannot see.
Peace, love and blessings,
Micaela x.
Thanks for reading, sharing and liking the post. Much love, from Nelia??
I am what you cannot see

The Cry That Birthed Nelia Gyemfi!

Nelia Gyemfi — Fri, 30 Sep 2016 05:59:32 +0000

Isaiah 66:8 Who hath heard such a thing? who hath seen such things? Shall the earth be made to bring forth in one day? or shall a nation be born at once? for as soon as Zion travailed, she brought forth her children.

It’s very okay not to be okay sometimes, it does not mean you are a weakling, it only ascertains the fact that you are human, and this is life! It acceptable to let it all out, even if it means you have to wail, than bottle it all up, in the name of being strong. The person of strength is not the one who intentionally and deliberately ignores the hurt, failure, disappointment or rejection. It is that person who accepts what has gone wrong and is not defined by it but is rather redefined.
There is always success in failure, it’s up to you to be vigilant and discerning. Every disappointment is an appointment in disguise; uncover the puzzle and mystery.
On that fateful evening of 21st May, 2016…Having done everything humanly possible and fulfilling all other spiritual obligations, I was nothing short of confident that I will be the next Women’s Commissioner of my uni. The words my mum spoke to me a few minutes before the results were announced suggested to me that God says this is not for you. She said in her sweet calming voice,”Nana Nyarko, we have done everything we have to do. You campaigned as much as you could, and we have also been praying for you. If God says No, this is not for you, let it go!”
I was like ahhh why will this woman tell me this kind of thing at this hour. I mean you said it yourself, everything had been done, what reason did God have to say no then.
But then, it so happened that God said no. No matter how hard I tried to keep it in, like the woman in labour, I had to let it out, right there on the school car park. Yes, on the school car park. I was in labour and I had to deliver. I had been pregnant with a whole lot of vision and work, and I had to birth them. I travailed and wailed like the woman carrying triplets in the maternity ward who has refused an operation so is pushing all three babies out.
People looked at me and were like Cornelia stop this please, you are embarrassing yourself. You are making your enemies happy with this attitude. But then my dear, can you stop a woman in labour from giving birth? Will you tell her she’s embarrassing herself so she should not push? I and only I knew and could understand what was happening in me, in my spirit and soul. I couldn’t keep calm. Something in me needed to be come forth, something needed to manifest. The question then is, if so, God then why did you say no?

I looked at this poster, and I didn’t see failure. I saw a woman of strength, small in physique but mighty in Christ and I said to her, that one day, just one very fateful day, you will proudly stand in front of thousands of people, and tell of the tale behind this. And people will know, and understand, and accept, that sometimes, when God says No, it is not because you are not qualified for that. But because He’s called you for a greater purpose and vision, and He needs to rid you of every form of distraction and interruption.
Is it not amazing that the very first post on this blog was just a day after the famous cry and I say this with all happiness and pride. I started knowing but also not knowing how this will work. But I did it anyway and i have not an iota of doubt that God is in my mist.I sometimes wonder, what would I be doing now if I didn’t weep like I did? Would I be most definitely looking back with regret and looking at God like why?
That cry birthed confidence, it rekindled passion and set ablaze zeal. That cry birthed NELIA GYEMFI and brought forth the PHENOMENAL WOMEN’S BLOG (which by the way is just the beginning of greater exploits)!!!

Psalm 46:5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you cry that cry that will birth the new you and the inner you.
Love, Nelia Gyemfi.

HI THERE, I'M MICAELA!

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 28 Aug 2016 16:58:26 +0000

Micaela Opoku -Mensah is a lovely young intelligent Christian Ghanaian lady based in the UK. She studied Politics and International Relations, a field dominated predominantly by men at the Oxford Brookes University. She has currently gained admission to the University of Edinburgh to read Msc Africa and International Development. She’s a strong Pan-Africanist, loves food like myself oh and she enjoys cooking the food though. I could write a whole month’s post on this phenomenal young enthusiastic lady but I will leave her to do the talking now.

Ladies (and the gentlemen who have found their way here) meet Micaela!
Me: Hiii Micaela. Hope you are good and your day has been splendid.
Mic: Hello Nelia. My day has been been good. A few grocery shopping here and there. Trust yours was good too.
Me: oh yes it was. So tell us dear, who is Micaela?
Mic: Wow! That’s a pretty good one. Well I’m still figuring myself out…I keep learning about me almost every step of the way but that notwithstanding Micaela is a strong independent black woman, very friendly and the outgoing type but also shy at the same time.
Me: Outgoing and shy? How does that play out Miss independent?
Mic: Hahaha well yuh. I’m more like the conversation starter and I hate awkward silent moments so I will rather keep my calm than to start something awkward.
Me: Okay. Cool. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?
Mic: Well I intend to go back to Australia and to other countries, do a little more work with international NGO’S focusing on African and International Development and make documentaries about African Politics at some point in time when I’m back home.
Me: Very insightful. To you Micaela, what is the point of womanhood?
Mic: Hmmmph! Women are the main focal point of society. I say this without intending any disrespect whatsoever. But there are so much that we do and can do and the beauty of it is that when we put our minds to it, it flourishes and blossoms like the daffodil flower in spring.

Me: Like the daffodil flower. Having said that, women, and I will say African women are somewhat scared of success and pursing very big ambitions. We settle for the very obvious and this is a big issue because we underutilise our potentials to suit what society deems fit. Why do you think there’s this problem and how do we address it?
Mic: Nelia you’ve mentioned the very core of the problem already. SOCIETY. The main drawback is because of what society says we can and cannot do simply because of our gender. I agree, gender makes a lot of difference, especially biologically, but hey, it doesn’t in anyway downplay the abilities and capacities of the woman. I mean it’s not breaking news that this world is regarded patriarchal. In my own personal experience reading Politics and International Relations, being one of the very few females to take up that course, had to endure a lot of distasteful and unpleasant remarks from male coursemates just because why will a woman want to be a Politician? If we will just have an open mind about what the woman can and cannot do, should and should not do, I think this world will be a better place for us all. Let’s be mindful of what we tell our girls, what we feed their minds with.
Me: Ever wished you were born a man?
Mic : Hahaha well yes. Sometimes what is expected of you as woman just makes you go like oh my why am I a woman again? Lol but having said that I am proud I am a Woman, and a Phenomenal woman at that.
Me: Haha a phenomenal woman she says. Well then tell us, in your opinion who is a phenomenal woman?
Mic : oh that’s easy. Me. Lol just kidding. A phenomenal woman, mmm there’s a lot in there, but she’s a woman who knows who she is and is proud to be what she is no matter how meagre society makes it appear to be. The Phenomenal Woman is definitely extraordinary. Doesn’t do what society will anticipate.
Me: Finally Micaela, if you had the opportunity to just change one perception about being a woman, what would it be?
Mic: oh that the woman cannot be angry or mad or pissed. Any time a woman is frustrated or down or sad oh it’s that time of the month. Okay so how about the teenagers and adolescents who are not on thier periods yet? What makes them sad or angry? That perception and stereotype really bothers me. Anything could affect a woman’s mood. Not just her periods!
Me: hahahah that was a funny truth right there. Well thank you so much Micaela. We can’t wait to have more of you.
Mic: Thank you Nelia. I’m very pleased to have done this too.

I enjoyed every bit of this conversation and I learned a lot as well. I know you did too. Well guess what, Micaela and myself will be collaborating to bring you the very last part of #the power of Influence. I know it’s going to be great. I can’t wait.
Well before I take leave of you finally this week, please do find time and read the article in the link below?.
https://face2faceafrica.com/article/meet-five-worlds-powerful-african-women/5

Wear your crown this week, like the Phenomenal Woman you are.
Love, Nelia.