Bible Character Study – Being Phenomenal

Tamar-Not this Widow II

Nelia Gyemfi — Sat, 26 Nov 2022 12:26:44 +0000

In the following years Tamar heard that her father-in-law Judah was visiting the city in which she lived. Judah’s wife the daughter of shore had died and when the time of morning was passed Judah was going up to the sheep shearers in Timnah with his friend Hirah, the Adullamite. I guess news travels far, so Tamar found out her father-in-law was going to make this trip, down to the city where she lived.

Let’s not forget that at this point Tamar had been waiting in her father’s home as a widow for Judah’s last son to come of age so she could be married to him. I could only imagine the betrayal of trust and love that Tamar felt towards her father-in-law after he had promised that when his third son, Shelah came of age, he was going to give her to him for a husband.

So, she planned very strategically to meet with her father-in-law. This meeting is not one that you would even think of and I for one had judged Tamar based on just how unorthodox and initially I thought self-centred this meeting was. Tamar took off her window’s clothes and disguised herself, with a veil and wrapped herself up in disguise. She then positioned herself at the gateway of Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah, Judah’s destination. When Judah saw her he thought that she was a temple prostitute for she had covered her face as such woman did in those days. He turned to her by the road and said please, let me lie with you. Tamar didn’t just go with him again because she was strategic about what she was doing, and she knew exactly what the outcome was that she wanted. So, she asked “what will you give me if I came in to lay with you?” And for a man of Judah’s calibre, this was a very easy question for him so he answered and said oh I will give you one of my young goat from my flock. She said well, obviously you don’t have the goats with you here but what you can do is you can give me a pledge which is something that I can hold onto until you have delivered the goat and Judah agreed. So, he asked what pledge I would give you that would be satisfactory for you and she said give me your seal, your cord, and your staff that is in your hand. She might have all have said that you know what let me just take a picture of you and hold on to that or let me just take a DNA sample of you and hold on to that because all these three things that she took from him as a pledge were things that would later come to find out where very specific and unique to Judah as an individual. No one else had his seal no one else had his staff and no one else had his cord.

So after their little you know chit chat and bargain Judah eventually lay with Tamar which is biblical jargon for had sex with Tamar. After the intimacy, Tamar got up early the next morning gathered her things left and put on put back her widows clothing and just went back to her father’s home as if nothing had happened. Eventually Judah sent the goat, which remember he had promised to Tamar. He sent this through his friend, Hirah, Tamar was nowhere to be found. He inquired from the people around and said there was a prostitute that sat by the temple where can I find her? He was told you know what there is no prostitute that sat by this temple you might have made a mistake and there was no one here. So, the friend returned to Judah and said I can’t find the person. Judah said that you know what if we can find her that’s fine, we just keep the goat because if we keep looking for her and it is found out that I am the one who laid with her, it’s going to be embarrassing for me.

A few months passed and again as word travels fast Judah was told that you know your daughter-in-law Tamar whom you had sent home to wait for your youngest son to come of age so that he would marry her? Yeah, that same Tamar is pregnant. Judah was furious, he was upset, and he ordered her to be brought out and let her be burned because of her immorality. Again, let’s not forget that just a few months even before now Judah himself had laid with Tamar whom he thought was a prostitute which was also immoral. But as it pertains to Tamar he was upset and said let’s burn her for her immorality talk about double standards.

While she was being brought to be burned, she took all the things that Judah gave her as a pledge the seal the cord the staff and said to Judah I am with child by the man to whom these articles belong. And she added please examine them carefully and see clearly to whom these things belong the seal, the cord, and the staff. Judah recognized these articles as his and said you know what she is been more righteous than I have ever been in this matter why because I did not give her my son Sheila as I had promised. And so, tamer’s life was spared. And when the time came for her to give birth the word twins in her womb these twins would eventually be called Perez and Zerah who are in the genealogy of Jesus Christ.

What lessons do we learn from Tamar in this part

Re-writing your story: Let’s be honest Judah had no plans of given Shelah to Tamar for marriage. In which case Tamar would have remained a widow in her father’s home till she passed into glory. And as we saw in part one, Judah had the power or the prerogative to release Tamar and allow her to remarry from another family, but he didn’t do that for reasons known to him. Tamar eventually realized she had the power by the grace of God to rewrite her story. She marinated on the fact that for the larger part of her adult life her story had been narrated by being passed on from son to son to son and that was all that we would know about her until she said to herself not this widow. And once she came to the realization that she had the power to break through those limiting beliefs and to rewrite her story, she in fact did rewrite her story. Though her means may be questionable, she still did rewrite her story.

I want you to pause and reflect what part of your life do you need to rewrite. What narrative has been said about you or has been taught about you that you have believed for a while and that has become your identity. I want you to start reimagining what life could be like if you said not this again. I want you to reimagine what your life would be if you decided that from henceforth, I would not buy into this narrative about my life anymore and I choose to rewrite that story. I challenge you to do that. I challenge you to take control over what the narrative has been about you. Whatever position that you’ve been placed in that you feel that you are helpless and so you’re waiting for someone to come bail you out, what if that person cannot bail you out? What if that person decides not to bail you out what will become of you? And so, I want you from now onwards to approach life and realize that you know what no one is coming to bail me out of this thing called life. No one is going to bail me out of this narrative until I decide that I’m going to bail myself out.

Strategic Planning and Positioning:

I find it hard to believe that Judah’s first time of visit in this city was when Tamar met him. He probably would have traveled to that city several times prior, and Tamar would have known or would have heard of it at some point just as she did this time. The only difference this time was that after she heard, she decided she needed to rewrite her story. She strategically planned and executed her plan. It goes without saying that you can plan all you want but if you do not pull those plans into action, you won’t get the desired results. For Tamar to be pregnant the only one time she had sex with her father-in-law meant that she was in her ovulation cycle. That is the only way she would have been pregnant by having sex with her father-in-law. Nothing else outside of that window would have worked. So, she had to be calculative enough to figure out “when I’m in my cycle and this is when I’m going to meet him and this is the conversation that I would have with him, that he would have sex with me and will be pregnant.”

On top of that for me not to be shamed or stoned to death I need to prove that he is responsible for my pregnancy. So, a goat would not be proof enough. The only evidence beyond doubt would be his articles which are his stuff his called and his seal. Tamar knew that as soon as she’s able to present these articles as evidence of the man who impregnated her, she would be vindicated and that’s exactly what happened. Why is this important? It’s important to note this because often we get into a space where we want to change our results, we want to be right our story, but we have no plans. In the off chance that we have a plan we do not strategically execute the plan. Tamar knew how to dress, she knew how to disguise herself enough not to be recognized, she knew where to sit, how to position herself so that Judah would not miss her. She knew the conversation to have with Judah and she knew how to steer the conversation to get what she wanted out of that situation. Again, I want you to think about your life what part of your life are you re-imagining what part of your life are you rewriting but narrative are you looking to rewrite what strategic plan are you putting in place to ensure that comes to pass and how are you making sure that you execute the plans that you have put in place together desired results.

When it’s all said and done Tamar said not this widow. This widow will not die a widow neither will she die motherless. She recognized that by to grace of God, I am the only one that can rewrite this story of mine and turn the end of the story. And once she had that shift in her mindset, she had a plan would she executed by positioning herself at the right place other right time having the right conversation doing the right thing disguising herself in the way that is going to give the desired results.

Daughter of Zion you cannot live a haphazard life and expect results to change. You cannot buy into the narrative of the world about you and expect that someone is going to bail you out of that narrative. When and if you find the courage to decide to rewrite, reimagine or retell that part of your story, that part of your life that thing that is holding you back right now know that planning alone is not enough you need to execute the plan. in the story.

TAMAR; Not this widow!

Nelia Gyemfi — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 02:15:51 +0000

Tamar, wife/widow of Er and Shelah has never been in the clique of reputable women in the Bible, comparable to Esther, Mary or even Deborah. She may be somewhere in between Rahab and Ruth, fierce enough to take her future in her hands but modest and unassuming. And maybe it had to do with the fact that she tricked her father-in-law to have sex with her, consequently being pregnant with twins! Talk about a comeback!

I led this Bible Study in our Being Phenomenal Community (click here to join) and it was such an incredible, enlightening session. It is amazing how much we learn when we take off the lenses of pride and prejudice.

The name Tamar was a popular Old Testament name which means “palm tree or date palm” in Hebrew. A lot of women in the Old Testament were named Tamar, an example is Amnon’s sister who he raped (not the person of interest today). Biblically, a “Palm Tree” symbolizes longevity, to flourish, with its leaves in particular meaning victory. It comes as no surprise to me how Tamar was able to cement her name in the genealogy of Jesus.

Been given to Er, the first son of Judah for a wife, Tamar would soon become a widow. Her first husband, Er, was slain by God because there was wickedness found in him. (Gen.38 V 6-7). While in the process of grieving and healing from the loss of her husband, Judah, her father in-law, instructs Onan (his second son) to go into her (Biblical jargon for sex), and then marry her. (Gen. 38 v 8). To the end, that Onan and Tamar will raise a son in the name of Er (culture at the time). The levirate marriage was a common practice in that culture. Some cultures still practice this to date. The brother-in-law is required to father an heir with his sibling’s widow so his legacy would continue and ensure the inheritance for them after they died. (Deut. 25 v 5). Onan, wanting to eat his cake and have it, thought he could pick and choose which part of the culture to uphold. He chose the sex but didn’t want the responsibility of raising a kid. He marries and has sex with Tamar but spills his seed on the floor (Gen. 38 v 9). Onan’s decision to spill his seed on the ground was also motivated by greed due to the inheritance structure. The child he would bare for his brother would inherit more of Judah’s estate than him, Onan or his seed. Once again, God was displeased and that would be the end of Onan.

Judah now instructs Tamar saying, “Remain a widow at thy father’s house, till Shelah my son be grown for he said, lest peradventure he dies also, as his brethren did.” (Gen 38 v 11)

Tamar does exactly as she is told. She returns to her father’s home, being widowed twice! Judah had the prerogative to set Tamar free, allowing her to re-marry, but he did not. Tamar stayed unmarried, holding onto the words of Judah for a promising future of bliss and family.

Let’s pause here for a moment of reflection. I invite you to think of Tamar not as a Biblical character, but as you. In the next 30 seconds to a minute, you are Tamar. Write down how this experience has broken you. Reflect on the trauma of being passed on from one son, to the next. Reflect on how powerless you feel, being instructed to go home, and wait for a young boy to come of age, and maybe marry you. Think of the perceived loss of dignity, the prying eyes, the judgmental lips. Think of how you have internalized guilt, thinking perhaps, this misfortune was your fault, because really, you are the common denominator.

Sis, you may not have been widowed twice. You may not have been asked to return to your father’s home, waiting for a boy to become a man, to marry you. But what experience has left you feeling powerless? What trauma of rejection are you saddled with? What guilt, which by the way was not your blunder, have you internalized?

But Tamar rose, one day and said, NOT THIS WIDOW…. (to be continued)

Jezebel; The Slay Queen

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 01 Jul 2018 19:26:00 +0000

For y’all self-acclaimed slay queens, here’s a toast to the original and literal slay queen, QUEEN JEZEBEL. I mentioned in one of the posts of Self love that real Queens are too busy putting their kingdom in order and in place. Real promising queens, like Queen Esther, build legacies, give life and hope to the desolate and are full of God’s Wisdom!
To be a Slay Queen is to literally kill and that was exactly what Jezebel did to keep herself busy. She was a destructive queen at whose reign God’s people buried several prophets.
I bet to say, if Jezebel walked into a boardroom today to interview for a job, she’d be hired in a heartbeat. All heads will turn and admire the confident, Intelligent, courageous, and assertive woman. She was a born leader with considerable influence who boldly took on the competition and got things done without excuses!
When such a woman honours the Lord, great things happen. This pushy Phoenician princess worshipped Baal, a fertility god. Temple prostitution and child sacrifice were the order of the day. Murdering the prophets of Israel was business as usual. No wonder she’s described as the Lady Macbeth of the Bible. Jezebel is a perfect example of misplaced priorities and misused potentials.
King Ahab “did more evil in the eyes of the Lord than any of those before him” (1 Kings 16:30) and marrying Jezebel was at the top of his evil deeds. Politics, not romance, paired this nefarious couple. Sounds familiar?

Who is JEZEBEL, THE SLAY QUEEN

Growing up in Sunday School, I quite remember how young girls will cringe at the sound of Jezebel. It has been a name associated with witchcraft, manipulation and evil deeds. In short, it is a name no woman wants to be associated with. I am yet to meet a young woman called JEZEBEL.

She’s the daughter of Ethbal; a priest of Baal. Hence the name Jezebel which means married to Baal. Ethbal, the priest-king of Tyre murdered his own brother to take over the throne so it came as no surprise when Jezebel followed in her father’s footsteps to be a power-loving blood-seeking murderess who will stop at nothing to get what she wanted. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree huh?

Anyway, let’s dive into the reason we chose Jezebel for our bible character Study this month.
Jezebel was the wife of Israel’s king at the time; King Ahab. As King Ahab’s wife, she wielded a lot of power. She teaches us how to be doting. She showed so much care for Ahab and was able to detect if there was anything troubling him. She wanted to grant him all his heart desires and went so far to get him whatever he wanted. Regardless of her evil nature, Jezebel exuded a great amount of passion for what and whom she loved. She would not take excuses. Nothing was literally impossible in the eyes of Jezebel. As long she can conceive it mentally, there were no boundaries to get to it. Jezebel was evil and yes there’s no repentance for evil spirits, and I am in no way praising Jezebel or putting her on a pedestal.
Young Christian women tend to be timid. We teach it to our children and they grow up in it. Girls at Sunday school are expected to be “graceful” without grit. They are taught about Eve, which makes them to hate their gender even at that age as they are made to believe that their species got the world to where it is today. I remember distinctively being mad at Eve or at the imagination of Her. I was unhappy that the downfall of mankind was attributed to the woman (discussion for another day, but to read my thoughts on Eve, go to my post on Eve). After Eve, we were probably taught about how charming and adorable and completely innocent Mary was. The picture is painted in our minds to be living in the shadows till the favour of God locates us. We were never taught Deborah, the female Judge, or even Jael, the woman who killed Sisera by stabbing Him with his own spear. We were never taught of Abigail whose intelligence and smartness saved her home from the wrath of David. We were however told that Delilah, a woman was the source of Samson’s downfall. Get where I’m headed? Follow on…
Jezebel possessed confidence that is enviable, intelligence and assertiveness as a woman which is totally admirable. The young Christian woman needs these and must put them to the right use, not to become manipulative blood thirsty women. Our spirituality alone will not set us apart in this word.

Another vital lesson we can learn is our power of influence as women. We can learn from Jezebel never to underestimate our power of influence over our children. Jezebel was good at influencing and teaching her children but she did not give them good lessons. Athaliah(daughter of Jezebel and King Ahab) took Jezebel’s influence and went a step further to evil by killing any possible heirs so that she could be queen. How much focus we put into serving the Lord and the way we treat others will teach our children to do same. The way we lead, love and submit will be seen and imitated by our offspring. Not just our biological children. Whoever is within our circle over whom we have a considerable amount of influence over.
Still on influence, Jezebel knew the great deal of influence and power she had as a wife and queen, therefore she didn’t underrate it. Because of the influence she had as a queen and wife, she was able to acquire Naboths vineyard for her husband, once again, misused potentials.
Imagine, just imagine, Jezebel with all her grit, grace, intelligence, assertiveness, but just with the Spirit of God, not the spirit of Baal. She wouldn’t be the witchcraft caricature we imagine at the sound of her name. In the same vein, many many many young women with amazing qualities and potentials going the wrong way, misdirection all that potentials to the vertical wrong things.

Influence is at the heart of women. God made you to be an influencer. Influence is the undeniable power of a woman, once tapped, opens many doors. Woman, Your power is in your ability to influence. I cannot over emphasize this enough. (Here’s a link to a piece I wrote two years ago on how to be a woman of Good influence, peek a read , https://rubiesworth.com/influence-it-is/)
Influence is a heart thing.
Michelle Mckinney Hammond in her book, the power of being a woman mentioned “the gift of Influence is the invisible power that women overlook”

Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
As Christian ladies, we must be able to understand that we have so much influence and if put to good use, will go a long way in helping us to develop ourselves, our community and populate the kingdom of God.

The influence of a woman can make or break a man. In the case of Jezebel, we all know what happened to Ahab.

Jezebel’s life is a story of talent wasted and abuse of power. Should she have channelled her intelligence, courage, enthusiasm and influence to the service of God and Israel, she would have been one of the most revered queens in the history of Israel and would have given Queen Esther a fierce competition in the Bible days.

Dear Phenomenal Woman,
Be a Queen, I mean a real Queen, not a wannabe queen, or a slay queen. Remember your worth is Far Above Rubies and that the crown of Womanhood that rests gracefully on your head is invaluable. Don’t trade your pearls for stones.

“It’s definitely difficult being a woman and growing up a girl. When you’re graceful, people say you lack personality; when you’re serene, people say you’re boring; when you’re confident, people say you’re arrogant; when you’re feminine, people say you’re too girly; and when you climb trees, people say you’re too much of a tomboy! As a woman, you really need to develop a very strong sense of self and the earlier you can do that,the better! You have to be all the things that you are, without allowing other people’s ignorance change you! I realized that they don’t know what grace is, they can’t identify serenity, they have inferiority complexes, they are incapable of being feminine, and they don’t know how to climb trees!” ― C. JoyBell C

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

Woman You’re Far Above Rubies

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 04 Feb 2018 19:35:22 +0000

Woman, You’re Far Above Rubies

PROVERBS 31V 10.

Our bible character Study for today has taken a different twist. Ordinarily, we would be discussing an actual woman that existed in the biblical days. Well today, we’re talking about a woman that was described, somewhat in abstract. The woman that God wants us all to be, the Proverbs 31 woman.
This woman seems to be a cliché in our world today, especially in our churches. However, the same women who claim proverbs 31 v 10 are the same women fighting for “Gender equality”. In my opinion, gender equality is a myth( I’ll be writing on this soon).

I decided on this woman because of the current spate of radical unfounded feminism in my country, Ghana.

A bunch of privileged women, who have gotten some fair level of education and exposure thinking they know it all about Gender and being a woman, but are actually being schooled by men. It irks me to see this generation of women, and Christian women at that, fighting for what isn’t theirs with no idea of what they have.

Being a woman of strength isn’t about being able to throw a fist at a man for being a man. Being a woman isn’t about playing the gender card anytime you feel something is not in your favour. Being a woman, is recognising the value God placed within you when he made you, and rising above what the world dictates about womanhood.

Now to the Proverbs 31v 10-31, (I’m basically paraphrasing some verses).
A good woman, who shall find? For her worth is Far Above Rubies. Don’t you find it rather mesmerising that not even a Ruby is equated to the worth of a woman? Not only are you far worthy than Rubies, you’re far above the worth of a Ruby. You’re exceedingly abundantly above the scale of measurement of a Ruby. (You still think gender equality is the ideal?). Woman, Your Worth, value and whole being of existence is that intriguing that words can’t literally explain.

She’s clothed in strength and dignity. You’re strength personified and dignity is your apparel. Your strength is not to fight for what is not yours, but to guard diligently and jealously what is yours. Your dignity is your integrity. Your integrity as a woman lies in your character. Be a woman of commendable character.

She works willingly with her hands. A woman never complains about work, whatever form it may take, be it domestic or corporate or commercial. She’s not a lazy woman who deems certain works as slavery. She gets tired, yes. She get worked out yes, but she never plays the gender card.

She’s Kind, she’s industrious, she’s proactive and brings honour to her home. She’s filled with wisdom and on her mouth is the law of kindness.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to praised. Your Looks will fade away like the flower and your charm, like the whirlwind. What will be left of you, as a woman, is your substance.
What substance are you made up of? Substance of rage and fury against the opposite sex? Substance of ingratitude to God for making you a woman? Substance of the worth which is far above rubies?

I am a woman, and I wear that as a badge of honour. I do not view myself disadvantaged in anyway by society, norms, or stereotypes lest I let that have the better part of who I am, leaving me with anger, dissatisfaction and unfulfilled. The devil knows this, as such has planted lies in the minds of the daughters of Eve, hindering them from living up to the purpose of a woman.

Be a Woman, be Unapologetic about it, Be a Woman of Substance far above rubies.

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

The Woman At The Well: Freedom in Truth

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 18:09:27 +0000

The Woman At The Well

Our fair story begins in the town of Sychar in the region of Samaria as a woman writes in her diary:

Dear Diary,

Today was hotter than most days and as usual, I was walking to Jacob’s well all alone… *Sigh*… when I noticed this fiiiiiiiinnneeee man sitting on the edge. From the looks of it, he is Jewish! I mean, his sandals, his hair, his nose…. Just screaming Jewish to me. That meant that I was going to get one load of a talk down because Jewish and Samaritans just don’t vibe.. you get what I mean? Alright so I fetch my water as far away from him as possible when this man asks me for some of my water. First off, I think this man must be lost or something because:
1. Jewish and Samaritans do not share bowls… they hate us! Well our fathers told us after the Israelites who settled in Sychar were defeated by the Asssyrians, the Samaritans intermarried them. This made the Jews furious as they believed the true blood of Isreal had been altered by Pagans. They found no need in associating with us anymore. So yes they despise us.
2. I am a woman and one dishonoured woman as a fact so he, as a rabbi and all, isn’t meant to talk to me at all.
So I state the obvious about Jews, Samaritans and bowls then he says, “If only you knew what God gives and who it is that is asking you for a drink, you would ask him and he would give you life-giving water”
Surprised, I look at his feet. There was no bucket at all so I told him how deep the well was. He listened with a smug grin as I asked where he would get the water from. “You don’t claim to be greater than our father Jacob, do you? ”
He tips his head to the well and says, “All those who drink this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water that I give him will never be thirsty again”. I look at him like ohh so if you do have water that when one drinks of, one will never thirst again, why must you bug me for water? He goes on further and said the water would come from a spring that gives life-giving water to give eternal life. Woah, where my cup at? Then, He tells me to hold up and asks for my husband and that’s when your girl right here gets real shy. I tell him that I have no ring on my finger and he says I know you’ve been married to five men and the guy I live with hasn’t put a ring on me.
Prophesy game strong, I see. He goes on talking about worship and when I mention that I know the Messiah will come to tell we, Samaritans everything, he says he *is* the Messiah. Soon, his company appears and from the looks on their faces it looks like they aren’t happy. I dash away to tell the others that the Messiah actually spoke to me. Talk about a story..
Now, right now, I am wondering why the Messiah, saviour of the world, looked through the fact that I am a Samaritan Woman and spoke to me. I know I am not the type to talk to… I mean, I go to the well all alone when going to the well is supposed to be something fun and chatty for women to do in groups… I married five men and I’m with my sixth in the series…. I am Samaritan, one who worships God on mountains… Well, not much to be proud of, if you catch my flow but hey, He actually looked through this to say “what’s up”. Well, then that means God must be this carefree and free spirited( ie He really sees me through His eyes and love). He won’t care if I was jobless, homeless or was a harlot, He would look through my flaws and talk to me. He won’t jeer or scowl because He is not human, not like the other gods or even fellow humans. With a God so forgiving, I should be prepared to give myself to Him and talk to him because with Him, my shame is cast away. What a lesson… I should be full of hope and faith.
Secondly, I learnt to not comprehend certain things with human morals. When he asked me to give him water, I went straight to the rules. Being the person I was deemed to be, I wanted to play it safe and avoid any trouble. I realised then that I have been drinking too much from water that is earthly, water that would get me even more thirstier. Water that would make me question His asking me for such a simple thing like water. I should rather be drinking water that would give me eternal life. I should try to get that water by doing good things in life, not discriminating and following the word. That’s what will give me the water that gives eternal life. Eternal life in Heaven. I won’t be thirsty ever again because doing good comes with self-satisfaction. I totally get it now. I wish I knew his name though but I have a feeling I would soon find out. Now, I must go and share this lesson with other people so my cup can be filled…and tell of the freedom I gained in truth…
Love, the woman at the well♡♡

If the woman at the well of Samaria kept a diary, and she had to recount Her encounter with Jesus, this is how it would have read. However, that woman at well, represents a fraction of us, women today. Ostracised from society by our faults, sins and shortcomings. Set apart for all the wrong reasons. Having little to no confidence in ourselves. Going to the well alone, because we don’t want judgmental eyes preying on us and criticising fingers directed at us.
Notice the only description we have of this woman is that she was a samaritan woman, who had been married to several men; no name whatsoever. It stands to reason that indeed reputation preceeds a fellow.
This woman, being defensive because she knew the reputation that preceded her was quick to lay down the rules before Jesus. In actual sense, what she did was to tell Jesus, I am not worthy of being in your presence let alone have a conversation with you. Her eyes were blinded with the law that she didn’t see grace staring right at her. Her conscience was clouded with guilt she couldn’t recognise mercy personified.
But in all, she was truthful, open and honest. That truthfulness fetched her freedom from all of Society’s laws.
Here’s an encouragement, a call to the well. Get rid of all your defence guards and mechanisms. Go to the well, gain your freedom in truth, and run to tell the world about it, that they may also receive same.
FREEDOM IN TRUTH…
Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

Hannah

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 03 Sep 2017 18:33:21 +0000

Hannah.

Many many many years ago a man lived. He had two wives. The wife whom he dearly loved was barren. The other bore him a lot of children that his heart was at peace; but for a while. The woman who bore him children mocked the one whom he loved, but was barren. The woman whom he loved wept and prayed. Her tears were her three square meals for a day.
And it was, that every year, this man together with his half happy half sad family will visit the Lord at Shiloh to pray, offer sacrifices and commune with the Lord and one another. And it so happened, that on this particular journey to Shiloh, something extraordinary happened. There was a shift in the woman who he loved’s prayer life.
She knelt down at the altar and prayed her womb out. She prayed for long hours nonstop – a prayer marathon. She prayed till she could utter no words. She prayed till her ribs felt like they were cracking out of dryness. She prayed until she was drunk in prayer!
She asked God one thing, a son, whom she “covenanted” to give back to God when he was of age.
Fast forward to the year after, the woman drunk in prayer had a son. She could not attend the annual meeting at Shiloh because she wanted to wean the son she bore so she could honour her part of the covenant as God had obviously honoured his part.
Spoiler alert, the woman is Hannah, who bore Samuel, one of the greatest prophets in Israel. The one who anointed David King over Israel( oh my don’t get me started on Samuel).
Hannah’s rival, Penninah mocked her. The kind of mockery that would make Hannah stay in her room all day, to avoid Penninah. The mockery that would force Hannah to starve herself all day, and sneak out at night to get some bread to munch on and wash it down with a bottle of asaana or sobolo.
But when Hannah’s glory came, and she honoured her covenant, her son’s legacy has lived on till date. Not even one of Penninah’s children had their names mentioned in the Bible. Well I haven’t seen it yet, if you have, kindly let me in on it.
Lessons.
1. Penninahs are needed in our lives: Hannah must have been throwing a pity party for herself already before Penninah came on the scene. But here’s the part Penninah played, her mockery made Hannah sit up, take matters into her hands and literally have a banter with God. After which she received her results. Penninahs (I actually love the name though) are the persons in our life who criticise our every move. In fact, your very existence, to them is an error. Penninah is that person who makes fun of your unfortunate situation. Penninah I that person who tells you God has forsaken you and He doesn’t love you. Penninah is the person who never wishes you well, but their lives look as though it perfect and glorious. Penninah is the reason all that glitters is not gold.
But a Penninah is also the reason God will perform His word. A Penninah is the reason you should take the bull by the horn and deal with the core of your problems. That Penninah is the reason God will give you the Gold, when it looks like you have nothing put stones in your hand.
2. Ask God Until He Says Something Tangible – What prayer can’t do, more prayer can do. What more prayer can’t do, much more prayer will do! Hannah prayed until she had heaven’s attention and submitted her petition. Hannah travailed in prayer, and she brought forth. She literally touched the hem of God’s garment like the woman with the issue of blood
3. Honour God when He Honours you. Don’t try playing smart. Do what you said you’d do and do it well. Hannah didn’t play wayo! She did what she said she would, gave the son back to God. Theologians actually believe that she had other sons after Samuel; because she honoured her word. God is not a man that He would lie, nor the son of man to change His mind.

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman
Ps: Don’t forget to let me know you passed by ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Rahab

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 06 Aug 2017 18:08:00 +0000

Rahab

Hello everyone. We will be doing a short study on Rahab for this month. Rahab is first mentioned in the Bible in Joshua 2. Remember the two men who were sent by Joshua to spy the land of Jericho? Yhup, it was Rahab’s place they lodged. Okay, I know you knew that already. I hope we also remember it was around the same time the Lord was about sending His children into the Promised Land.

Rahab is a name which means broad, spacious or vast. It is believed the first part of her name(Ra) might have been from the Egyptian god Ra. She dwelt on the city wall in Jericho. Jericho was a pagan environment where almost every tom, dick and harry that dwelt there participated in idol worship. She dwelt there with her father,mother, brothers and sisters. She was a prostitute(or harlot). We can also see that she had some knowledge about the God of Israel(Joshua 2:10,11).
She is one of the only four women mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus Chris(Matt 1:5). She is the only woman mentioned by name in the hall of faith in Hebrews 11.
Lessons to be learnt from Rahab

Rahab was a thinker!
The first thing that strikes me about Rahab is her ability to think and act. And I see this in various acts of hers. For instance;
The way she responded when she was asked about the men. Oh yeah…..she did lie. But we are not bent on highlighting any weakness of hers. She gave them an answer(and with bravery) which they had no reason to doubt for a second. The men didn’t even consider searching her room for the spies just in case she had lied.

And thinkers observe and strategise…
We see her in Joshua 2:16 advising the spies on what to do so they are not discovered by their pursuers. I believe this advice stemmed from the fact that she had observed and understood the way things worked in her community. So now, I want you to pause. Is there any aspect of your life you can apply the principle of observing and strategizing. You see, phenomenal women( and men too) make their society better. They are proble. To be a problem solver and an agent of positive change in your society, you should learn to observe and plan. It shouldn’t end with just thinking and planning, let’s learn to take action. Let’s learn to take initiative.

The concern she had for her family
From our introduction, we understand that Rahab’s family also lived in Jericho. We’re not too sure why she wasn’t living with them in the same house. Some have attributed it to the fact that she may have been estranged from her family because of her profession. Nevertheless, we see a woman who wasn’t selfish and secured safety for her family. So firstly, I just want to encourage you to create strong bonds of unity and love in your family. Let your family know you care and that God gave you to them for a reason. It honestly feels good to know that you have a family supporting you.
And also as the old adage goes, “Charity begins at home.” Showing love to people around you isn’t fruitful if you can’t show love to the wonderful family God has given you (and family is not always blood). In a similar vein, if you want to be a difference in society, start being a difference in your family, right where you are.

Faith
For someone who had been exposed to idol worship right from birth, she demonstrated a very admirable degree of faith. And her consciousness of the power and might of God is amazing.(Joshua 2:10,11) It is no surprise then that we find her name in the Hall of faith. I believe her faith in God also prompted her to make such a great request of her family being spared(Josh 2:12,13). And we see from Joshua 6 that this faith was rewarded.

So to conclude, I want to say I get excited when I see Rahab, who was once a prostitute appear in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. It reminds me that I have a God who can take the foolishness of this world to confound the wise. It also encourages me not to look down on myself or allow myself to be held mentally captive by my past. God is good. I can be a great shining star no matter how darkened my life may has once been.
God richly bless you for reading.

beautifully written by Arbie Marfoa Marfo ( team member of the Phenomenal Woman)

Mary Magdalene

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 02 Jul 2017 17:51:11 +0000

From Demoniac to Disciple.

The Lord’s right-hand woman

Have you ever come across the famous painting of the last supper by Italian artist, Leonardo Da Vinci? If you have, you may have noticed a feminine looking character sitting on the left hand of Jesus. You probably haven’t but that it’s alright because this post is going to talk about what you didn’t see in the painting, which is a feminine looking character which some people believe to be Mary Magdalene. My work is not to justify whether or not this assertion is true or otherwise. On the contrary, my work is to study the character of Mary Magdalene and her ministry during Jesus’s days on earth.

Mary Magdalene or Mary of Magdala was the most prominent female follower of Jesus Christ. Born in Magdala in Judea, she was a Jewish woman and had been recorded to have seen both the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Magdala means “tower” or “castle,” and in the time of Christ was a thriving, populous town on the coast of Galilee about three miles from Capernaum. Dye works and primitive textile factories added to the wealth of the community. It may be that “The Magdalene” was connected with the industry of the town for it would seem as if she was not without means, enabling her to “serve the Lord with her substance”.
Before we study Mary Magdalene’s life and character, I deem it necessary to dissociate and liberate our minds from those who connect her with prostitution or being a harlot. Although Mary was a woman of high standing and comfortable circumstances, she suffered from the malady of periodic insanity from the demons that possessed her very being and not harlotry. We are not privy to a lot of background information about Mary Magdalene, thus before she met Christ. Her life and story and ministry began after she met Christ up until the resurrection of Christ.

Luke 8:2-3 And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,
And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance.

Mary was the only woman who’s number of demons were mentioned. It stands to reason that amongst the women that Jesus healed of the evil spirits, Mary was the most troubled. However, the very the moment Jesus’ compassionate eyes locked the wild-eyed and cringing woman of Magdala, He saw in her what no other person saw; the minister who would be a blessing to His own ministry and to others.
There was therefore the need for this woman to be set loosed from her bondage. In His authoritative voice and with all power, He commanded the tormenting demons to come out and stay out of her. The demons couldn’t do much but to obey and succumb. Her deranged and nerve-racked mind became as tranquil as the troubled lake Jesus calmed. Sanity returned, the rosy tint was restored to her cheeks, and she was made whole. Now, “clothed and in her right mind, in dignity and strength”, she was ready to become one of the most devoted woman disciples of Him to whom she owed so much, her freedom, breakthrough, dignity, sanity and even her life! And this is how Mary of Magdala transitioned from being demon possessed to being a disciple of Christ.
Lessons or Nuggets from this Character.
1. Women matter in ministry:
If there’s only one lesson to pick from the character of Mary Magdalene, it will be that women play a pivotal role in ministry. Women cannot be sidestepped in the five fold ministry and many others. I say this for two main reasons.
First, following the story of this woman, we realise that she followed Jesus right from the moment of her sanity till his death and resurrection.

And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance.

Mary became a disciple. Freed from demonic shackles, she became the right hand woman of the Lord, his personal person, his body body, his hommie! Her personal ministrations, along with those of other women who had been healed, greatly aided Jesus in His missionary activities as He travelled from place to place preaching and teaching His message. Grateful, these women became generous, ministering unto Him of their substance.
Mary left her home in Magdala to follow Jesus. Constantly on the move as Jesus and His disciples were, there were many details in connection with their personal comfort and well-being requiring attention to which these women could see. Quietly and effectively Mary would do what she knew needed to be done. Further, money was necessary for the Master’s campaign work. We never read of Him or His disciples asking for money, yet funds were necessary. Much of it came from Mary and other women like her who had been so richly blessed of the Lord.
Now it was time for Christ to be crucified. Mary went with her Lord into the shadows of death not forsaking Him at that darkest moment of His ministry, not thinking of what was going to be left of her after her Lord and Saviour was gone. She followed Jesus on His last sad journey from Galilee to Jerusalem, not as the preacher or teacher she knew him to be, but as one going to die a shameful death befitting of criminals and murderers. And as they followed, they still “ministered unto Him.” Mary was present with the other holy women at the mock trial of Jesus. Mary was present in Pilate’s Hall and saw and heard the religious leaders yearning for the blood of Him who was so precious and dear to her heart, the darling of Heaven. She listened as Pontius Pilate pronounced His death sentence of crucifixion although he had found no fault in Him. She witnessed and wept as Jesus left the hall to be spat upon and ill-treated by the crowd thirsting for His blood. Then she saw Him led out to Calvary’s fatal mount to be nailed to a tree.

Matthew 27:55-56 And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him:
Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee’s children.

Every time Mary Magdalene’s name was mentioned with the rest of the women, her name appeared first. This shows that her service and ministry couldn’t be overemphasised, and that she may have even been the leader of the rest of them that followed Jesus.
Secondly, after the crucifixion and all the drama that accompanied it, guess who was at the tomb early on the third day to go and anoint the body of Jesus.

John 20:1 The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre.

After Mary Magdalene got to the sepulchre and saw that Christ was no where to be found, she rushed and informed Simon Peter and John about what she had witnessed. They followed her to the grave and they also, seeing that Christ was nowhere to be found left. But Mary Magdalene stayed back, and sat at the entrance of the tomb, wailing!

John 20:11-18 But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre,
And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.
Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.
Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.
Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that he had spoken these things unto her.

Did you get the point. In case you missed it, shall I help to make it out! Mary Magdalene was the first person, human being, born of man and woman, to behold Christ after He had resurrected. In other words, Christ revealed himself to a woman! Even before He ascended into the heavens. Now is there still a believer who thinks women have no importance and relevance in ministry? In my Jhs, there was this teacher of mine of a certain Christian denomination that had a very big problem with my mother being a Reverend minister and heading a church. Every time he would ask me, “why there aren’t any men in the church or what? And he would go on a rant about how it’s biblically wrong for a woman to be a minister in the house of God and lead men”.

“If the resurrected Savior used women to proclaim to the male disciples that He was alive, we should also make full room for women in the proclamation of the eternal gospel.” (Rodriguez, Angel – Biblical Research Institute)

2. God can rewrite your past, such that your present and your future, will not make sense to many.
Ever heard of the assertion by some one Christians that Mary Magdalene was the wife or Girlfriend of Jesus? In fact some so called Christians believe that Jesus married or was in some kind of amorous relationship with Mary of Magdala. Funny right? People couldn’t just believe that this woman, possessed with seven demons can be cleaned and even serve the Lord Himself. It was just unbelievable so that they had to cook up stories that made sense to their canal mind and human logic. But guess what my dear, God does not need to consult anyone before He does what needs to be done. He takes the foolishness of this world to confound the wise.
3. Loyalty:
The loyalty that Mary Magdalene showed towards Jesus was really like the vows shared at weddings, in good times, and in bad times, till death do us part. In the introductory part of this post, I mentioned a painting by Leonardo Da Vinci of the Last Supper which depicts a feminine looking character sitting on the hand side of Jesus. As to whether this feminine character is indeed Mary Magdalene, I do not know.

All I do know is that Mary of Magdala, together with a few others were present before, during and after the last supper. But inasmuch as we cannot conclude whether or not Mary Magdalene was indeed sitting by Jesus at the last supper, I am made to believe one thing though, which is the artist wanted to capture Mary’s loyalty and closeness to Jesus in a humorous and an unassuming way. Mary’s loyalty to Jesus, was till His death. While some male disciples like Peter actually denied having any association with Christ during his trial and tribulation, Mary followed Jesus all throughout that period. After the burial, the 12 disciples hid themselves for fear of being persecuted. Yet still, Mary went to tomb, and I want to believe she had been there the previous day to anoint the body with some spices and oil. Now, if Mary Magdalene hid herself like any of the others, she would have missed out on the opportunity to be the first person to whom Christ revealed Himself to after His resurrection.
My dear Phenomenal Woman, every thing you have purported to do for Christ, in whatever ministry you find yourself, may you receive the grace that was upon Mary Magdalene to go to the extreme for His cause. And in doing that, Christ will definitely have your attention, reveal himself to you in whatever kind of way, and be a blessing to many more generations to come.
We all, myself included, need the Mary of Magdala anointing and grace, may God be our helper!

Nelia.phenomenalwoman

Esther

Nelia Gyemfi — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:41:02 +0000

” AT THE POINT OF HAVING HER PEOPLE KILLED AND KEEPING HER NAILS CLEAN.“

Queen Esther is one of the most prominent and inspiring female figure of the Old Testament out of the very few mentioned in the Bible and of course one of the very few books in the bible named after a woman, because her life is worthy of emulation.
Born Hadassah (which means compassion ) to a Jewish family in Persia. Her story set out after Queen Vashti, wife of King Xerxes of the 127 provinvces of Media and Persia-stretching from India to Cush- turned down her husband curtly when asked to put on a show with her dance during the banquet he hosted for his militia and nobles. Vashti is a name of Persian origin which means beautiful. It comes as no surprise that the King of all Persia was proud of his wife’s physical beauty. Enraged, King Xerxes decided to give her position to a much more obedient woman so the search went on and amongst the several women polished and dandied by the Eunuchs , Esther was chosen.

Esther 2:17 “And the king loved Esther above all the women, and she obtained grace and favour in his sight more than all the virgins; so that he set the royal crown upon her head, and made her queen instead of Vashti”.

Now, Esther’s older cousin, Mordecai who had adopted her after she herself became on orphan was announced as the king’s second man after reporting two guards planning the King’s assination. Mordecai’s story evolved once Haman, one of the King’s nobles got vamped to higher position. Everyone bowed to him except Mordecai. Insulted, Haman learned of Mordecai’s people and decided to wipe them out by tricking the King to sign a contract that would doom all Jews.
Mordecai needed Esther to stop her husband from doing such a deed so he pleaded with her. Now, listen, Esther knew nothing about war or these contracts and this was a very frightening yet troubling issue for a lady of her age and calibre. She could have saved herself , going to get a spa bath or something but she acted fast and told Mordecai to tell the the Jews to fast as she solved everything. Stating” If i perish, i perish”.

Esther 4:14,For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

When Esther got to the palace, Mordecai charged her not to reveal her identity as a Jew nor should she by any means make known her relation with the Jews in the land of Persia. As to the reason why Mordecai gave her such instructions, I know not. However, what I am sure of is that if Esther had revealed her kindred, she may not have been chosen as queen which will mean she will not be in that position to save her people. That is why Mordecai said perhaps, this is the reason why you are queen.

Esther 4 : 16 Go, gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day: I also and my maidens will fast likewise; and so will I go in unto the king, which is not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish.

Esther had a choice. She could have said well, uncle you know, I can’t go before the king if I haven’t been invited. If I go into his presence without being invited, I will be killed, so you know what, you people should fight your fight. After all, it’s all your fault.
Fast forward, Mordecai was honoured, the Jews were saved from the King’s wrath incited by Haman, and Haman, he took his own life.
LESSONS.
1. A radical feminist will most probably vouch for Vashti and say well she’s a woman who has her rights and they need to be respected and as such she can’t be ordered around just at the King’s will. But it actually goes beyond the King’s will or his instructions, it’s the fact that the Queen did not attach seriousness to instructions. She couldn’t discern between play time and work. As a woman, you should execute every little task assigned to you with all decency, order and diligence. You’ll never know whether your next action gets you promoted or demoted from whatever office you occupy.
2. Unlike Vashti, Esther had the virtue of a queen. Bible says beauty is vain and charm is deceitful. Being a queen demanded more than the physical beauty Vashti had.
3. Esther hearkened unto instruction. She took Mordecai’s instruction and warning with every seriousness. Sometimes, it is wise to hide your identity. You can never tell who’s waiting to destroy you. You never can tell who is laying ambush. Don’t run your mouth too much about your achievements, your blessings or even your weaknesses. Be circumspect.
4. Esther used her position of influence, coupled with fasting and prayers to save her people. If God puts you at a place to help others, don’t hesitate. Be obedient and move. If you aren’t sure about what to do… PRAY!
5. We must all be brave to do something that dares us. Dare yourself. It’s an honour. As women, we are expected to cower and be scared of certain issues but we have to overcome this and face the issues squarely like modern Day Esthers. Move out of your comfort zone. As Kafui Praise puts it, dont just exist, live! Think carefully and plan everything out precisely as well, and commit those plans to God, and your work will surely be established.

BE AN ESTHER THIS WEEK, BE A QUEEN!

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman