The What Factor

THE WHAT FACTOR OF SELF LOVE.

Inasmuch as we all strive to be the coloured versions of ourselves (go read my series on be your selfie if you haven’t to understand what it means to be your coloured self), there are certain things about us we cannot change. We have to embrace them wholeheartedly. I read about a black young lady in America. A white guy told her you’re pretty even though you are black. Her response, epic! She said, “I am not pretty even though I am black, I am pretty because I am black! ACCEPTANCE! This is the introduction to my next post on the series, what do I have to love?

You can’t choose and pick what to love and what not to love.
Self-love is not a buffet at the state Banquet or a five star hotel. It is a one meal menu, yet with so many ingredients.
What I’m getting at is, Self love is not a pick and choose game where you can go like yeah I love that, nope I don’t love that. We discussed the ingredients used in the preparation of a cake right? A lot of things go in there, depending on the type of cake of course. But at the end of the day, with the magical touch of the baker, we have a great cake for our celebrations. You are the baker of your own cake my dear.
We all watch these shows for cooking and baking. There’s always the recipe but when and if you try yours, it will never taste the same as mine. I love chilli, you may not. Maybe I love my cake moist and fluffy with less sugar. Perhaps you love the texture of your cake to be like bread with lots of sugar in it. But at the end of it all, I have my cake, and I loooooooveeee it. So must you be willing to accept your cake and loooooooveeee it as well. That is self love. Acceptance.
This is why it was very important to answer the how question and who question before the what question. The How and Who factors are like the processes of the baking process. The mixing, kneading, whipping, measuring and all that comes with it. The What question however, is really the point at which you take the cake from the oven. Then you’d have to accept the cake as it is or you’d have to go through the whole process again! But that is life right? Sometimes everything you’d spend a fortune of time and money in just falls off like a tower without a foundation. It is as if the very support of your life has been swooped from underneath you. But you’d have to get the oven set again, mix up the ingredients again and again till you get what you desire, then accepting it will come with so much ease and fulfilment.
The How factor, most importantly demands that you LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL; YOUR HEART, MIND, SOUL AND STRENGTH. I call this the dimension of love. And getting this step right is very important because all the others rest on the strength of this. The Who Factor talks about loving you. Ordinarily, it would have been love the ‘raw’ or ‘real’ you. But I’d say work on the ‘raw’ and ‘real’ you. You owe it to yourself. Invest in your self and in your personal development.

You are far above rubies. That is your work. Rubies are red jewels or red diamonds. They’re worked on as well after they’re mined. They go through a process of refinement. That is the process you have to go through as well, to attain your worth of not being a Ruby, but being far above the worth of the Ruby. I hope you catch this revelation.


After this process of refinement which includes going through fire, being hammered, shaped and all, then you can confidently answer the What factor, by saying I accept who and what I have become. I love the cake I have been able to bake.

Love, Nelia.phenomenalwoman

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