Hurt but not Held back; How to overcome Rejection, Hurt & Pain


Hurt but not held back! Hurt, pain and rejection are a part of our journey here on earth. Especially as a daughter of The King, we hope for a smooth ride on our road trip of life. Unfortunately, Hurt, pain and rejection are unwelcomed passengers.
When everything is said and done, as a child of God, what do you do when your heart is wrenched and bleeding with sorrow, hurt and pain? I have come to realise that as Christians, we almost never have this conversation about how to deal with our pain, hurt and rejection. The best we would say is “brother/sister, we will bear you up in prayers”.
When a believer goes through fire, we don’t expect them to come out of it stinking of the smoke, rather we expect the smell of fresh linen and after-shave. That fire could be a business gone wrong, friends who we trusted may have betrayed us, bad marriages, situations beyond our control… But we mount some unrealistic pressure on such people that it is almost impossible for them to be vulnerable in the house of God.
It is true, that as Children of God we are more than conquerors.
It is also known, that indeed the Holy Spirit is our comforter.

But may we not be oblivious to the fact that we are still flesh and blood, and majority of the hurt and pain we experience is physical rather than it is spiritual.

How then do you as a Child of God, overcome rejection, pain and hurt.

1. Acceptance: Why me? Why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong? What didn’t I do right? These and many more are some of the questions we ask ourselves after we have been hurt or rejected. Truth is, and I am sorry but this pill is bitter, you may never get the answers to these questions. Never ever! The closure you’re seeking may never come. I advise you accept the ill fate which has befallen you and do that as quickly as possible. The longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes to accept and move on. Imagine your house is on fire (God forbid). Instead of quickly coming to terms with the fire outbreak, you rather standby, hands on your head wailing. Asking what went wrong, while the fire is still razing your building. Perhaps, if you quickly came to terms, and took the necessary action, you may have salvaged a part of the building before it is utterly ruined. In the same vein, instead of crying over spilt milk and asking all the irrelevant questions, salvage the rest of it. In plain language, rather than wasting more time trying to figure out why what happened to you happened, focus that energy on other aspects of your life! Hope this makes sense. May I add that accepting the hurt and pain doesn’t mean you understand what happened.

2. Clear the Atmosphere: After you have settled within yourself, and you have accepted the pain, hurt and rejection, clear the atmosphere. Many times we may try to use perfumes and fresheners to mask the smell of the smoke as a result of the fire we’ve just come out off. We feel disappointment, hurt, fear, and anger. Instead of totally eliminating those negative emotions, we cover them up. We wear a happy face and “fake it ‘til we make it.” We may look steady and great on the outside, yet on the inside is a hollow place. Yes, sometimes we need to walk by faith, not by sight, and move forward even when we don’t feel like it. We can’t keep that up for very long, though. Unless we let God work on our inside to get to the root of the issue, the poignant smell of smoke will eventually overtake and consume us.
Thankfully, we can clear the atmosphere with the ultimate odor eliminator readily available to us.

1 Peter 5:7, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

In order to eliminate the smell of smoke from our lives, we have to allow God to absorb those things we worry or fret about – those feelings which are keeping us overwhelmed, hurt, or angry.

Giving our cares to God doesn’t mean we give them to Him then take them back at the first opportunity. We have to let go completely and trust them to our Heavenly Father.

You may have been hurt, but you don’t have to hold back!

To be continued….

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